Thursday, January 31, 2008

Playtime: "Intimate Apparel"

I am checking out this play on Saturday and I have heard nothing but great feedback. The Obssidian Theatre Group is Toronto-based and communicates the often neglected Black Voice through the means of live performance.

Look out for my review in the near future and click on the title if you are interested on ticket and play information.

Make a playdate!

The Laws of Nature: What Energy Are You??!!

This was an email I got today, I thought I would share it with you. It is more for amusement, plus I like the idea of being a beautiful lion (0; If you want to get a more precise and accurate reading of yourself through a birth chart, click on the title above.

ARIES - The Aggressive
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries is known for being generous and giving.
Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'right'. Aries will argue for hours and hours to prove a point. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.
Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

GEMINI - The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. Gemini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at lo sing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey.
Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong.

CANCER - The Beauty
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer' s Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most are artists and insane respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, but will kick your butt good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!

LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leo's are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything.
Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive.
Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find.

VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. LOUD. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and will never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget the one and only.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libra's can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years.
Libra's are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable.
GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones.
HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time.
Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever.
Loves deeply but at times will not show it - feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person.
Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often.
Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at time s and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool.
Loves to win against other signs, especially Gemini's in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. Can be clumsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Pro ud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Love their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, But will knock your lights out.

PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. At times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around.
Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing; sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friends to others but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.

Monday, January 28, 2008


Punch That BITCH Upside her Head!!! The Art of Muay Thai

YAY! I went to go watch some live Muay Thai fights this past Friday. Kids, this shit is crazy! A good friend of mine and I saw these fights at the Toronto Kickboxing and Muay Thai Academy (610 Queen St. W. - Third Floor) and it was a mad adrenaline rush. There were 8 fights in total, varying from 2 to 3 rounds, both men and women. Yes women.

Seeing this live was an absolute thrill. The velocity of the punches and kicks. But the real fun came in when the elbows and knees came out. That's gotta hurt for reals! I have recently gotten exposure to watching some UFC and I really dig the discipline and dedication that this sort of training takes. Okay...and the fact that you get a hot body (0: So you can imagine my excitement when I learned that fighters like Georges St. Pierre have trained at this facility.

What is Muay Thai you ask?

"The Thai-style is also known as Muay Thai or Thai boxing, and is the unique kickboxing style of Thailand. Muay Thai is a blend of art, science and sport. It is also a powerful ring fighting method, as well as an excellent form of physical conditioning and self-defense training. Muay Thai is sometimes called an art of eight weapons: two fists, two elbows, two knees and two feet/shins. It combines elements of Western boxing and powerful Thai kicks, elbows and knees."

So after watching the rigorous and exasperating workout these fighters get, I thought hell, why not push my own personal fitness to the next level. Look out kids, TG is gonna become a Muay Thai master alongside her trusty sidekick, Dee. This is a great way to take your fitness to the next level while also learning about self-defense. For more information on classes, just click on the title for a link.


Octopus: Master of the Seas

This past weekend I was flipping through channels and I came across a National Geographic special on the octopus. It was one of the most stunning and informative specials I have seen in a long while. These creatures are absolutely fascinating and their remarkable intelligence, instinct for survival and ability to be coy and dangerous is intriguing.

I could not find the exact special I saw, but I thought I would share this with you. Enjoy!! They make me want to turn into my crab form and move back under the sea (but don't eat me!!). Plus they can change into any colour they desire. Imagine all the fierce colours you could be! Woot woot!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Words to Thought: My Mind to Your Mind

Give me a paper and a pen.
Let me write about the pain and love that my life sustains. Ever so much sin.
The words pour through me like steam on the engine of a locomotive train.
I think without this outlet to reflect my mind and heart, I would have gone madly insane. I would be a bird without any desire to soar above all the anger and the blame. A body of water with no flow back into the arms of the sea that embraces her so openly.

I expose myself to you to so that I can work through my own insanity and realize that I am not alone in the bubbles of passionate emotions. Pop. So often the bubbles burst around me and tiny pieces of soap fall into my cracks of my eyes and blind me. When I rub my eyes and slowly start to see again, I begin to heal my visions by writing again. I work my devout mind through all the damned disappointment of others restrains and admire the feeling of being one day whole again.

It seems to matter how I try to express my life in words, nothing will ever compare to the sentiments that fall behind there meaning. I ask you to see that through my words and there often elusive nature, I try and reveal the beauty that is within me.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Sunshine Through My Window

Today in the morning I was on the subway. I saw the most beautiful baby boy. He was about 3 years old, all bundled up and in his stroller and looking sharp. I looked at his royal cuteness with a smile and he smiled right back at me. He brought tears to my eyes. I got emotional at the thought of how much hope he had in his eyes, how much genuine affection he was giving me, a stranger, through his sweet smile.

I have a 9-year old niece, Sienna and I love her more than anything in the world. She is my sunshine. Seeing her go through transitions from a child to a kid is constant reminder of how awkward and tough life can be. When she falls, she stands right back up. When she cries because the girls at school have teased her about her curly hair, or made her feel bad about being a certain way, her mama wipes away her tears and tells her how beautiful she is inside and out. Her mama tells her that she will feel better soon enough and sure enough, she does. But it is never easy feeling things, it is easy to not feel things and be the bully.

I love watching her in her mind. She can sit and read for hours, or sit and draw such lovely pictures of all the people she loves. It really warms my fuzzy little heart. She is a beautiful and sensitive little mind. She harbors such strength and sensitivity and comforts anyone with her gentle embrace. She is my snuggle bunny.

To Sienna, Aunt P is amazed by you everyday. You have a miraculous way of healing my soul and my broken heart. May I have the strength to always protect you and provide you with a positive role model. Never forget who you are, my little star.
I love you Sienna-Soleil!

Children are all we have to make this world a better place, they are our hope for a brighter future. Teach them to be wise and never give up on being good, kind people.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Have a Dream

Walk forward, never walk backwards. Temptation lingers in clouds of darkness behind us, the light of seeing your dreams come to light and someone truly realizing your worth resides in clear skies ahead. Our beauty as women lays in our ability to be such complex emotional creatures, full of the power to nourish, comfort, be resilient and learn to succeed at anything we put our minds to.

Dreams are so hard to see through and it seems not many have the desire to be responsible for another’s happiness. Time is of the essence, but what happens when time runs out and you are left in the shadow of the dreams you let past? I am not a victim; I am the master of my own beautiful destiny. I will not bow my head to the disgrace of another's misfortunes and another's short-comings. I am not a robot, I am a human.

Dream, love and be free to love. Love is all that matters. Do not feel illusion to believe that money is a means of controlling the value of happiness within your soul. I saw my parents struggle all my life with money, but we managed to survive together, no matter how fucked up we were. We all need to survive, but for me to die rich in love is far more important then to die in wealth.

Do not expect others to be as you are, but always remember that you deserve compassion and respect. Drown yourself in work, it is good to keep yourself busy and have an output of productivity outside your personal life. It is good to lay down in bed at the end of the day, exhausted. It reminds you that you have worked hard to get to where you are going.

Always remember to spend uninterrupted time with the ones you hold special. Take a breath from the stresses of the hustle and free yourself to good times. Happiness lies in your hands, so don’t hand it to others to control. People will never forget how you made them feel. Hold on to your love.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Jenny Bear

She has become my closest adviser, one of my dearest friends. She reminds me that I have so much growing to do in myself and that though people may come into your life for a reason, they must also leave your life for a reason.

She listens to be babble on about my hysteric despair, my confusion, my disillusion, my concrete faith, my need for love and to give love. She is so patient with me and allows me to run in circles. She tells me that she has faith that I can breakthrough. She is just like me, but yellow. She is wiser than me in so many ways and feeds my mind the wisdom to withstand the effects of pain, while re-training myself to have the endurance in life that you need to survive.

To light, she brings that I am often caught holding on to things that do not hold me in return with the same respect and commitment that I share. I am often reminded by her that I choose to ignore red lights, warning signs because I wish to save everyone. She calls me crabby legs. I do not know how I would survive without her as my friend. She is a gem, a pure heart of gold. A most beautiful woman who deserves only the best in life.

I promise to always stand by her through the storms, the seasons changing and will never, ever forget how she has saved me, time and time again.

With gratitude, respect and love. I am your friend.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


Cheetarah was my first girl crush ever. God she is hot. I was TERRIFIED of Mumra. I really love these pussies!!! This is some classic goodness!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Quarter Chicken Perfection!

What is there really I can articulate in words that would rightfully be able to communicate to the world (and Canada!) what joy the Quarter chicken white, with fries and chalet sauce has brought to my life. In fact it has helped into my growth as a healthy young lad.

I love it. I get most excited around Christmas season, for I know it is the time for the Festive Special!! I am actually in my mourning stage, as the festive special has recently disappeared. Remember the days it came with Tobrolrone? The Lindt houses they have today are even quite quaint. Yum. I can remember from my early days in this country, after I moved from my Motherland of England, ordering this scrumptious meal for family dinners.

Now as an adult of this generation, I see that Swiss Chalet is one of the hidden fetishes of people from our age group. I don't care if they are injecting crack into those chickens, they taste damn good! We all wear our dirty leather hoods to hide our faces, but we can all see the guilt of Chalet sauce all over your face! You dirty bastard.

Some say dark meat, but cliche to my skin tone, I prefer the white meat. Judge me if you must. When I would dine in the restaurant in my wee lesbian days, I would always drink the Shirley Temple with a cherry on top. What can I say, Swiss Chalet was first to pop my cherry.

Yes the staff are not exactly what you would call healthy or wholesome looking Canadians and I never understood how there were so many Indian delivery people (we can do more than drive you around in cabs you know!). So take a moment with a loved one and eat some "dirty birdy"!!

Yum. You can even have a Swiss Chalet online account. Come on people, it is only a click away. Any place that gives you lemon in water to rinse away your sin has a place in my heart.

Overcoming Pain and Embracing the Power WITHIN

Frida Kahlo, The Broken Spine, 1944, Oil on masonite, 39.8 x 30.5 cm. Museo Dolores Olmedo PatiƱo

Fear is the most paralyzing and harmful instinct we possess. No one can hurt you more than yourself. When you are damaged by the hands of another, you are often left with your head hung low and a heavy heart—alone. Knowledge is the only way to gain the power to heal and the strength to rise again. You must believe in yourself, even if others do not.

I know now that I have been deeply impacted by the carelessness of others and the shady positioning they play in their loyalty, consistency and stamina to stay committed to a decision that involves being unselfish, and/or open to change.
I am hopeful, but I have forgotten. It is time for me to jump, dance alone, focus on the discipline of karma. Now is a time to make my way in my career, in my (future) dreams, in my love of knowledge in (my) history. I will seek a sacred bond with not only another, but a within the appreciation of my own arms.

I get so lonely. It can be so damn scary. Your mind and body impacted by the infliction of pain and suffering. A way can be found though, as the human spirit can battle beyond our righteous level of comprehension. I saw it in my Ba.

I need to be alone now. I must find the strength of survival. To feel for me is to feel alive. With curiosity and disgust, I savour and curse of our ability to be alive. Sweet surrender and torments of withdrawal. However I do know this. I wish to save myself from a bitter and lonely fate, a jaded outlook on life. I wish to be free of my own pain and remember the broken columns of another back.

So many ideally endure abuse from others, while others are brutally neglected and abused by our hands everyday. Look at the world. Express yourself and flow but don't give up. There is to much that NEEDS to be cared for. I will not play your fool.

I must care for myself. There is so much love to give and loose.

I know that I will not expire if I do not find my one, but I wish my dreams to come true one day. I have always seen her as my alter to worship, my salvation to help heal the pain that reckless lovers past have left me with. Someone to hold my hand and reunite with our bonded energy from countless lifetimes past and present. She will know it is me and find me again and again.

I can feel hurt that blinds me of sight at my faith in love. This conflicts with my religion. I must grow a thicker shell as the water washes over me. With the pride of a lion and the sensitivity of a crab.
Run deep within yourself and others will appreciate you. Don't show fear, only confidence in yourself. Love yourself and only then can you love others.

She wishes to heal, she deserves it.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Seeking to No Longer be Found

I have looked behind the red curtain, I have moved giant pillars of stone to find a way to reach you. Everytime I think that I am closer to being close to you, I am reminded that it is not you at all that I have found.

You all have entered my mind and rape my the depth of my knowledge and willingness to love you with all my heart and mind. Too often you've abused the power of my fight to seek the truth in my faith and you all have left me abandoned within the thoughts of my own sick mind.

You cheat, you tell beautiful lies, you cry and you never give enough to me to really make me think that you tried. I stand alone. I need no one but the sanctuary of my own love to guide my way.

She has left me diseased. The other has ravaged my mind. The one after has ignored my pleas for affection, attention and closeness.

I hope you are all satisfied with awakening my beast within.

Thursday, January 10, 2008



Looking for a way to have some fun in the cold?! Winter calls for hibernation and good eats. You need the layers to keep you warm, it is a proven fact. I recommend that everyone try to take advantage of Winterlicious (Jan 25-Feb 7, throughout the GTA). 130 of the GTA’s culinary leaders offer a special Prix-Fixe menu to awake your taste buds.

I have been a regular 'liciouser and enjoyed many wonderful 3-course meals for a margin of there regular price during this cool promotion(the GTA also offers Summerlicious).

Check out the website by clicking the Winterlicious link in the title. View your options by cuisine, location or price. Bon appetite!

Food for Thought

If you look at the current situation of the world, you can understand why we can be so desperate to cling to the things that give us the sense of happiness or value. Some look to love, others to work. Some find strength in finding themselves through reading, writing, conversation, others through pursuit of career and fortune. What is key for me is that I am able to build a foundation for the future, with an unwavering consistency of work towards making my dreams come true.

Look at the current state of the world and the images we are frequently bombarded with as an acceptable way of living ones life. Britney Spears is a prime example of how this world is messed up. We look for drama in others lives to make our lives seem more stable, no matter how much of it is actually based in truth and sustainability. Are you telling me that we didn’t know she had lost it long ago?

The media is a constant perpetuator of abstracting the demented lives of celebrities to look glamorous, when truthfully most of these young women are saturated in filth and by no means provide the image of positive role models for young women. Remember how hard our mothers worked and continue to work to survive?

I have a 9 year old niece; I care who she sees on TV, listens to on her headphones. In turn this will effect what sense of self-respect, dedication and love she builds for herself and others (the external effect on the internal). For from the moment of actualization we are constantly looking to balance our internal values with our external experience. I want her to be a strong young woman not afraid to be who she is.

Sometimes I don’t feel like this modern life is for me.
Remember the days you could actually look up to someone—not for one reason, but for many? We saw the way one lived his/her life, the way that he/she was able to continuously rise from the control of systematic discrimination and marginalization? Screwed up mothers and fathers, the hunt of bullies and abusers? We all carry our own baggage.

People seem to be more consumed with the rush of life than actually taking a moment to appreciate what it is they are given from birth: the ability to become the change they want to see in the world.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

India Arie--"Ready for Love"

This song has touched my soul for many years. It is written with honesty, beauty and struggle. Enjoy XO

I am ready for love.

Monday, January 7, 2008

"Sick and Tired"- Anastacia


The more I love (you), the more I lose (myself).

The more I show my desire to be your lover (passion) in our impossible connection, the more I am told it is welcomed drama (infliction).

The more I try to hold you close (desire), the more you resist my desperate plea for your human affection (tenderness).

I try and stand strong in the faith I have (love), but I am consistently left outside alone (pain).

Now your feelings are gone, and all I can do is sit here and continue to be alone.

I won’t be broken again, I won’t fall apart.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Burn it Blue

Red. Heart. Beat.

Intentions. Open. Demonstration.

Flowers. Laughter. Sensation. Emancipation Proclamation.

Laughter. A moment. Desire. Fucking.

Captivity. Inability. Fear. Disappointment.

Exposure. Tears. A phone that never rings.

Red. Heart. Beat.


Phenominal Film: "Notes on a Scandal"

Two of my favourite actresses of our time--one remarkable film. Impeccable acting, high intensity and full of outrage and horror, "Notes on a Scandal" is a fast-paced brain fuck. The layers of these two female characters lead to an array of interesting reveal and show the desperate measures that one takes in the name of loneliness.

The narration is witty, intelligent and a commentary inside the honest mind of a woman hardened by circumstance and inability. This is a roller coaster ride that is full of energy. They are bound by the secrets they share, but will they destroy eachother in the process?

Friday, January 4, 2008

My Lil Cuz

I went out with my little cousin yesterday. She is my favourite. So we sat at Timothy’s and discussed are woes, triumphs, transitions, confusions and our progresses. We also ate cookies.

It is funny how things change but still manage to stay the same. She was the one who stood by me when I went through severe depression after my first break-up and sat on the phone with me through my second heart-break, listening to me pour my tears of sadness through the line. She is younger than me, but has always provided me with instrumental support and endless love and devotion. She sees and admires me for who I am.

I tell her of my worries, she provides me with some of the smartest advice I have ever heard.

She remarks, “Love is like a religion to you, don’t ever change your values for anyone else. Love is not an Evangelist.”
SMACK. She hits me where it matters.

I need someone who can show me their heart, put me first, treat me like a lady and let me be the silly romantic fool that I am. She says, “You are a circle and she is a square. You are open to a relationship, she is not. You deserve to have your values realized and your dreams come true.”

I know I have made mistakes in love; I try and hold myself responsible for each of them. I can get greedy to want her all to myself, but I just want some of her time. I want to be accountable to someone in a relationship. It seems that is where we fall apart. I am not myself when I feel alone, when I have limitations placed on my affection and my ability to reveal my heart to someone. My hand fits giving love, but does everything I give come back to me?

As much as it hurts me, I see what she is saying.

Ashafuckoo…I love you. I will miss you while you are gone and hold you close to me. Thank you for becoming such a marvelous and intelligent woman and always seeing my fight to survive. To many wonderful conversations and helping each other stand up when we fall down, again and again.

I carry you in my heart. XO

Thursday, January 3, 2008