When it jut feels good, it's great.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Sunday, November 8, 2015
This is my Parents and my Grandparents story. Expulsion from Uganda and a new beginning in Britain. While my parents chose to then move to Canada, my sister and I were born in the UK because of this migration. I am so proud of this community, as they proved the resilience of the human spirit and ability to thrive in the hardest of times, even as refugees. Thanks to my brother for sharing this with me, it really touched me.
|Cynthia Angeles, “Grief”, oil on linen|
It would be impossible for me to ignore what I have become. After suffering the fate of a violent emotional betrayal and having chronic anxiety over power my life, I have stood by my own side and watched myself die over and over again. While I have learned to be more protective of myself, I realized today that I no longer have the emotional prowess and sensitivity that use to help distinguish me. I have spent the past few years hanging by a thread, with my health in so much disarray, I lost my souls way. I still don't feel the way back to myself, maybe hiding and isolating myself has drawn me away from the person I use to be, more than I would really like to see. Now I wonder, what is next? How do I free myself from myself in a way that allows me to respect my limitations and respond to what is best? What is best? I no longer want to be at war to survive through my illness, I no longer want to struggle to feel happy. I want to move away from all the feelings that haunt me and mostly, this debilitating anxiety that surrounds me.
If you saw me now, you would not recognize me. Of this I am sure. Tonight I realized I don't recognize parts of me anymore, some tender emotions that created beauty in me have become strangers, unknown. I am not sure of what to regain and what to let go.
Monday, October 5, 2015
When I was 16, I really started to realize I was attracted to woman in a curiously warm way. I recall, one of the first signs of the queer-in-waiting, was plastering my whole wall with big Madonna posters, including this one. So when it was time to come out to my family, there was not much of an element of surprise! Madonna inspired me to be who I am today, in many ways. CAN'T WAIT FOR TONIGHT M!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
My thoughts on the killing of Cecil the Lion and the outrage that some feel that human lives (especially black lives) don't receive as much attention: I don't there is anything wrong for having compassion for any form of life. There is no reason to not stand up and be disgusted by this jerks actions. Many people are having an emotional response. That is not to say that human lives are not important, but all lives are important. Animals don't play into society's race, cultural norms and politics, but also deserve to be protected. The are alive, just like humans. Sometime we have to remember the value of all lives, just not our own. The man is a serial animal killer and that's disgusting to me.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Archery was one of the first sports to allow female athletes. Thank goodness the garbs got a little more practical as time went by. Here's to celebrating the Pan Am games that are currently in Toronto all all the KICK ASS female athletes around the world!
Friday, July 3, 2015
My love for myself will continue to grow. I know that love will be right here, no matter my fears and anxieties. I gotta keep myself together, because it is not worth all the nastiness out there to be absorbed. I don’t wanna be your robot anymore. You don’t know what it’s all about. I’d rather be alone. I no longer fear solitude, I revel in it. I dance with uncertainty because she teaches me to grow, to never feel bad for being who I am in this moment, I stand. Inspiration is not easy to find, yet I shine. I will make it a beautiful day if it is meant to be my last. My memories weep nicely formed words and share the fickleness of it all means something profound. Whether the feelings are good or bad, I feel them move in me. Perhaps that is why my soul is restless from the demands of tedious ways. Feeling cold in July doesn’t suit me. There are choices to be made. I try my best not to deny myself peace, I look for the way I thought could not be found. I pay no mind to what the TV tells me is important, my heart is foolish no more. I know why I was born into this world. I will not be untold because others are afraid to speak up for me, or be honest with themselves. They see black and white, I see colour.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
We (society) may try to mystify hate crimes through denominating it to 'mental illness,' but I don't feel comfortable promoting a society in which actions that are violent, racist and hateful are justifiable through sweeping generalizations about mental well-being. Many suffer from mental illness and the person they hurt the most is themselves, not others. Callouts claiming hate crime motivations to be mental health are simply not enough reason for us to accept and move on from these heinous behaviors. I demand justice and I think many would agree.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
I am again led back to the thought of self-care and how I find it so difficult to cut myself slack, at this time of great healing in my life. I worry a lot about tomorrow, about what others expect of me and anxiety shows its ugly face when I feel as though I am not able to be 'normal' compared to the functionality of the others I know. I wish I knew how to honour my healing as though my life depended on it. In reality, it does.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Today has me thinking - why are people so afraid of aging and sexuality? While I agree that the Drake and Madonna kiss was not hot AT ALL, and I think Madonna does not need to do that for any shock value affirmation, as I like her best when she's an authentic, unapologetic Leo all on her
own. However I must say the hateful comments written by people on social media clearly indicate that today people remain so very threatened by female sexual empowerment; the stigma of a hoe is still associated to a woman who asserts powerfully a valid sexuality. While I was not turned on by the kiss as it was not the Sex book under my bed, the fact is, I would like to see how many celebrity men get called "whores and sluts" that have an insatiable appetite for sex, just like Madonna and many other humans and animals!! Stop vilifying a woman's choice to be sexually liberated at any age and understand your ageist ideas of beauty and valid expression and how they breed intolerant, patriarchal attitudes!