Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Growth Mindset in Uncertainty & Grief

I am not sure how to accurately describe the past few weeks, on a mental, physical and spiritual level. However it has been one of the most challenging patches of my 38 year old life. It is hard for me to grasp on the outside exactly what is normal, with the definition being constantly demanding of shift with the COVID 19 crisis. Piled on top of that was the loss of my beloved best feline friend, Neefah Pandya. She passed of kidney disease in my arms, naturally. She was 16 and one of the gentlest spirits I have ever known. The grief I am going through is real, raw, though I am without fear that I am forever with her, as she is in my heart. An eternal love.

For an empath like myself, I can certainly pick up on all the restless spirits, anxiety and fear. This with playing nurse for N for the last 2 weeks and 24/7 the last 3 days. I had to find a way to ground myself, find courage rather than discouraged.

Every person is reacting exactly as they need too, in order to be taught the lessons they need to receive, during this powerful global event that is asking us to pause. I sincerely believe that this is a reset from the universe, the source, energy, karma, Spirit, Goddess, God, whatever you wanna call it.

The truth is that we are being asked to slow down, look, reflect and change, as a human race. Reassess what really is necessary and important, how we value or ignore each other. How do we share with each other, how can we convey compassion for our neighbours, friends. How we take great Mother Earth for granted, how our arrogance makes us believe that we are the centre of the universe, but really we are dust in the wind.

I guess in some way I would describe myself as someone who has always been searching. Sometimes for perspective of growth or learning, at other times for a way, help, support, health. Now without sounding cliche, age really does convey perspective and I am happy that I have sought myself, now that I meet myself today; mentally, physically and spiritually. The more you explore the more you know, plain and simple. The more practice you take in the vehicle of your existence, the more resilient you are when situations arise that challenge you.

Suffering is a realm I am familiar with, I am very emotionally in-tune. In realness it was only in my 30s that I learned the idea of laying boundaries and emotional intelligence. This was pivotal towards awakening me towards that just like any gift you possess, you must learn how to apply it, use it, feel it, be with it.

We spend so many hours, days and minutes trying to do, to please, we often forget to be. I don't think Neefah left me without choice, or as my Mom told me so eloquently through her Hindu faith, we had repaid each other what we owed each other, in exchange. Our transaction was completed. While I find peace in her words, I can't help but know that though she is physically gone, she motivates me even more somehow.

We are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We are capable of learning to be more compassionate, if only we listen and open our hearts. I ask myself and implore you to stay present, take deep breaths, find stillness among the chaos. Everything you need resides inside.