Monday, December 31, 2007

The Messenger

Before me she appeared, a Messenger of faith and hope. Her hair was curly, her brown skin as pure and smooth as the butter freshly after being churned. Her lips were delicate, but her eyes held the wisdom of one hundred lives. She had come to me as I needed her now.

I looked up, when I had the courage to see her and I uttered with a shake in my voice, “Understand I no longer have the strength of a woman, or the pride of a man. I have opened my heart so many times, only to be left demented and broken like shattered glass, completely un-manned. No that with me no longer the need for her touch exists. For now I long for a lover who’s heart bleeds for the sight of me, too hold me close and softly caress inside of me. My fight is constant to be patient and believe, but I know as the rules dictate, I must wait for her to find me. What a terrible shame, I only see myself to blame.”

She turned to me, a smile across her face. She looked inside me, than turned to look me in my face. She placed her hand on my cheek and stroked it gently with empathy for me, she spoke:
“My child you have desperately lost your way. No matter how many times love abandons you through the cold hand of another’s touch, you must remain strong with the sensitivity of human touch. So many unfortunates, turn into pillars of steel. It is the will of your heart, your passion for her, that you will find your way back to me.”

A tear rolls down the side of my face. I am standing with my eyes squeezed tight and I realize my state of utter disgrace. I let out a howl that seems to make the sky turn gray, all the birds turn around and quickly fly away.

I try and breath and step back into my words, “I do not know how much more I can take, I feel that sadness is my only constant landscape. I have tired to be good, I have tried to be kind. I have love and supported, been open towards her mind. But what has it got me, memories that will fade in time? Tears on my pillow, that fall with the strength of my mind. They fall hard and my spirit feels ill. I long for her touch and her beauty to reveal.”

I look up and seek her, the Messenger's eyes to see the truth, “Do not think too much about that which was once yours, that which you have lost. Keep faith that the light will conquer darkness and that which you have fought for, the namesake of love will always remain in the hearts of those you have touched. Be free, do not give up on me.”

With the blink of an eye, she was gone. I looked in the mirror and swore to be the woman I had fought to be. Love is my arrow and faith is my shield. Stand aside if you do not wish to believe in me.

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."
-Mahandas Ghandi

Friday, December 28, 2007

"Why's It So Hard?" -- Madonna/1993 Girlie Show

Benazir Bhutto: Life and Times

Bloody Turmoil: Benazir Bhutto's Death

I am ashamed. Benazir’s Bhutto’s assassination is a senseless act of contribution that is saturated in pure illusion of fundamentalist savage.

I do not think that things can get worse in Pakistan. We are constantly bombarded with the countries political and social turmoil’s in the past years, riots on the streets, crowds of protesters that oppose the abuse of the people, which is administered by their very own governments hands.

{Bhutto photographed before her assassination on December 27, 2007}

Taleban extremism is at a point of no return. They are no longer acts of sustaining ones religious views. Now they are cowardly acts of inflicting unimaginable grief on the human condition. We are all one.

Have you ever watched someone blow up in front of you? I feel sadness at the idea of what has occurred in Pakistan with Bhutto’s death. What the Taleban have succeeded in destroying is not only a remarkable woman of strength, character and powerful instinct, but also the political future that marks the fate of Pakistan’s future in the January 8th elections.

The rioting has begun; her people loved her. For eight years Benazir Bhutto led her people towards a vision of a democratic future with a perspective of peace in her land.

Her death leaves a vacuum for unknown circumstance, which could lead to more destruction and annihilation than Pakistan has ever faced before. Blood is on their hands for years now, but the question now remains to see if they will drown in their own fluids of hopelessness.

Hopelessness is the darkness within all of our hearts and reminds us of the relentless harm we can bludgeon upon of neighbours, friends and upon our world. Bhutto’s death is almost a precursor for even more violence, a possible state of emergency or even marital law.

It does not matter how she died, some say bullet wounds, others say with a splinter through her head after she fell back into her vehicle after the detonation of a attempted suicide bomber. 20 were killed and Bhutto taken away in the blink of a political eye. She was TAKEN too soon. She was Pakistan's flicker of hope, as she was able to petition for a climate of change. The people believed in her visions.

The leader of the Pakistan People’s Party, Benazir Bhutto, like her father who was hung by a former military dictator 30 years ago, is another casualty of the recklessness of selfishness of ambitions and beliefs.

Very few people are capable of standing by their beliefs like Ms. Bhutto. Her leadership of the PPP was never simple, but she never swayed from reaching her most optimum goal. Creating an environment for Pakistan to grown into a peaceful and safe country was never a near attainable goal, but she understood the requirement for change or the fate of complete destruction.

The politically inspiring have consistently fallen at the hands of human haste and fear.
We fear what we cannot change in ourselves, even if we live in a state of discontent and uncertainty. Change is harder than redundancy in politics. Staying with the pace of change requires the determination of the strongest of heart, mind and spirit.

The personal tragedy for this family is devastating - Ms Bhutto's two brothers also died violently, one was poisoned, the other shot and as mentioned, her father hung. The Bhutto’s have epitomized the footprints of Pakistan's bloody political scene since its inception in 1947.

Islamist extremism and the Pakistani Taleban remain an all encompassing tragedy in the state. These warriors of destruction already possess large chunks of territory, where they carry out senses acts of violence and aggression on innocents on a daily basis.

Do they even know what they are fighting for anymore?

MS. Bhutto had the political base to actually conduct a war against these extremists, silence their deafening sound of bombs being set-off. This is why they wanted her out of the picture. The loyalty of her people was inspiring, as they marched with her body for 2km in her funeral procession, heads hung low and the cry of violence permeating like the tears of a nation torn.

I can only hope that world leaders insist that a return to civilian rule is imminent and necessary. Military dictatorship should now be laid to rest over the death with the body of this most flamboyant leader.

Rest in peace.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


I know you have heard this a MILLION times, but it is still my fave Christmas song. So here you are lovelies!

Also notice what a useless dancer MC is! Dear god, she is ethnic and has NO rhythm! The only black men there are the ghetto Santa's that dance for her! Shooooooot!


Wednesday, December 19, 2007


I was completely obsessed with Project Runway Canada, Cycle One. I watched it like Mary did Jesus. Religion people, religion.

My favourite was always MG...she is a visionary that creates unique pieces for individuals with confidence and a slanted concept of style: non-mainstream, bold in style and not afraid to stand out of a crowd! I was a little disappointed with her final collection, as I do not think that she investigated enough variety for a line at L'Oreal Fashion Week. Too safe for her creativity and talent. However, I don't think that many people would be bold enough to wear her pieces in Canada, she is better suited for a European woman.

Trust me, I have been to Fashion Week a few time and Canadians are not exactly international trailblazers in the fashion realm. BORING.

But at the same point, the three finalist, MG, Biddell and Lucian, all memorized me with their collections.

Lucian is a craftsmen whose handwork is beyond meticulous. However he lack the originality of Biddell and MG. He is very high fashion, but not very different then what we see splashed across many top designer collections today. Lucian created pieces for my 16th Century, courtesan identity. I can appreciate his work, but I do understand why he did not win.

Biddell, oh man! My Leo brother (my rising sign people!). He did a great job and his jackets are beautiful and sassy-eo! His best pieces. I think that he works well with the slightly "edgy" Canadian idea of style. Not too dramatic, but just enough to stand out. Clean lines, lovely colour palette and defiantly made from his own personalize style. His fat boy story made me like him a little more and now I understand why he acts like such a bitchy gay man. PROJECTION!

Evan Biddell is very talented in what he does, but I am not sure he has the maturity to make it so young. I suppose we will have to see! Look out for his line that will be hitting a Winners near you!

So too another cycle of FUN FUN FUN. Look out for it in January 08!


2007: Too Much Rain Over My Paradise

What can I say about 2007? This was defiantly a year for ThunderpussGeisha, of extreme HIGHS and terrible lows.
2007 will be remembered by me in my personal journey, as the year in which I fell MADLY in love, got dumped, lost someone I love dearly and started to create the professional reality I want for my life.

I have spent most of this year stretching myself too thin at the expense of elevating others and a blind faith in love as the end all of all my happiness. I lost myself completley to myself.

I just got carried away by wanting the things that I could not have to hold and believing that dreams can come true if you just want them bad enough. I allowed others to insult me by not limiting my hurt. Growing pains were around every corner I turned and no matter how I ran; they followed me and stared me right in my face.

2007 was the toughest year I have had in many years, so I will always remember the challenges, disappointments and heart breaks that I felt. Depression felt like an unwelcome companion and my faith in real love seemed tainted by constant abandonment.

I now have come to see the imperfection of/in myself. Thank you to those who have showed themselves to be my dearest friends and family. Thanks for holding my head up to stop the tears from falling, giving me plenty of nice hugs and just letting me feel and think my way through all the confusion, but always being there to guide a light to my way.

Good things do not come easy. You can’t run away from your problems, they will be there to shadow you when you run out of breath. It is okay to be kind, but remember that humans are innately selfish. Many of us stumble of our paths because we are wounded by the inconsideration of others. Peace of mind is necessity—not a privilege.

So forecast for 2008, you ask?
I say, I am finally feeling myself after months of anguish. So to that I say, look out for some fantastic energy, sassy style and controversial ideas
All courtesy of my BIG pretty mouth. I wish to continue to write more and get more of my writings out to the people! Love those who love me with the utmost tenderness.
Good times and great memories are ready to be made with the people that deserve to be special to me.

Fianlly, Balance-- I need to find balance. Life, love, work, friends, family, personal goals. I am ready to fly and flow.

Goodbye is the hardest thing to ever say, but goodbye it is. And to that I say hello 2008.

Wishing everyone all the best in 2008! Happy Holidays my multi-cultural readers!

I heart you all! Well, except you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Phenomenal Film: "Lady Vengence"

Also recommended are Park-Chan Wook's other films, "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" (2002)& "Old Boy" (2003). He is a director that reminds us of the dull, redundancy of Western film making. He is a rare great artist, who's films are full of details, colour, humanity, artistic mastery and great storytelling.

Combining an array of film genres in all his works, you will not be disappointed or unenlightened for a moment.

See them all!

"Nobody Knows Me" -- Madonna

My freakin' theme song!!

Monday, December 10, 2007

A War of Head

Whose forehead would you put beats/bets on?


Brandy Norwood:

Yes, the former girl that was sitting up in her room and asked us, have we ever? Now turned killer (I ain’t making this up, she is a hit and run murderer! BLOP BLOP!). What can I say; her forehead is enough to cover a small nation from rainfall or protect a group of civilians from a bomb.

Sadly, the only thing I remember Brandy for is playing opposite Fairycrack Mother (aka WHITNEY!) and losing the boy to Monica. Not even the crown can hide her big-ass head!

Tyra Banks:

Besides being one of the most annoying and portentous people on TV, Tyra has one of the most mammoth and offensive foreheads. Housed on the top of this head is some of the worse wigs and weaves you have ever seen. People could skate of her forehead, even take naps. But the question is would you want that big mouth so close to your ears?

“Do you want to be on top” of this alien?

Who would you choose? HOLLER!

PS> My brother nominates Iman, but her head did not measure up on my list!
Yes, I may go to hell.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Art-o-fact: Titian

Tiziano Vecelli or Tiziano Vecellio (c. 1485 – August 27, 1576), better known as Titian, was the leader of the 16th-century Venetian school of the Italian Renaissance. He was born in Pieve di Cadore, in the Cadore territory.

Titian, Self-Portrait

Recognized by his contemporaries as "the sun amidst small stars" (recalling the famous final line of Dante's Paradiso), Titian was one of the most versatile of Italian painters, equally adept with portraits and landscapes (two genres that first brought him fame), mythological and religious subjects. His lifespan was an unusually long one for his times. He enjoyed glory as one of the most renowned painters of the first half of his career. But as the Italian Renaissance spread its way into techniques of the Northern Renaissance, his manner drastically changed as well. However, what unites the two parts of his career is his deep interest in colour--he is spectacular with his palette for vivid images. His later works may not contain vivid, luminous tints as his early pieces do, yet their loose brushwork and subtlety of polychromatic modulations have no precedents in the history of Western art.

Source aid:

Highlighted Work:
"Venus of Urbino"
Titian, 1538
Oil on canvas
119 × 165 cm
Uffizi, Florence

Titian mastery of oil painting is vividly and concisely shown in this work. The "Venus of Urbino" depicts a nude goddess Venus, reclining gently on a couch or bed in the glorious surroundings of a Renaissance palace.

The pose is based on Giorgione's "Sleeping Venus," but Titian uses more sensuality in comparison to Giorgione's sublime remoteness. The frankness of her expression is remarkable; she has no shame in laying there naked and exposed.

Giorgione, "Sleeping Venus," 1510

Renaissance artists often played with the ideas of fertility and virility through their works. Titian is no exception to this signature. He delicately places a posy of flowers in her right hand, to make illusion to her ability to be fruitful of birthing. Her left covers her pubic area and acts as the centre of the composition. Perhaps this leaves a level of imagination to the viewer and provocatively urges them to be aroused by what it is that they "can not" see.

The dog in the background is a omnipresent affirmation of male virility and again nudges the symbolization of her fertility.

This remarkable work is devoid of any classical or allegorical illusion. Here, Venus is represented as a mere woman of beauty, not an unattainable goddess of worship. Titian makes his Venus accessible to everyone.

"Concieved" --Beth Orton

Beth is a wonderful musician...enjoy! Such a cute video too (0:

"Wish I Didn't Miss You" Acoustic: Angie Stone

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Split Indecision

I look in the mirror; who is this girl I see staring back at me? It is a reflection of who I once was, no longer who I want to be or become. I see the tracks of my tears that run like a razor blade, down the cracks of my face.

My eyes look a little more tired, some would say wiser than just a few month ago. But I don’t feel any wiser, or any stronger than before. Why does everyone keep telling me that it will get better, that good things come to those who wait, those who are patient? I want to wear my crown now, it is rightfully mine. But what is the point of having glory if you have no one special to share it with?

How will I ever know if something is good for me before I reach the point of utter inhalation and desperate melt down? I don't want to hear you're sorry. Sorry does not heal the pain I felt and the loneliness that flooded my arteries of hope.
Do not tell me to relax, I don’t want to. I have worked hard to better myself, make myself someone who cares for others with the utmost dedication and quality of care.

I will not be your fool, but I will remain my own fool. At least if I die tomorrow, I can die knowing that I fought for what I wanted most; your love.


Sometimes we all forget how to have fun. We get caught up in the rustle of life, the pressure of work and the demands of others needs and circumstances.

What is fun you ask? I say fun is laughing, enjoying meals and drinks with people you find stimulate you and having lots of sex sex sex! Good cardio. Fun can also include just spoiling yourself, maybe setting out on a new adventure you’ve always wanted to try or a day at the spa. Allow yourself to be pampered and treated like a Queen or King. You deserve it. Turn your phones off, disconnect from all that which is outside of you.

Having a healthy body will benefit the nourishment of a healthy mind. Balancing both of these is very critical to your overall health. Read a book and then go for a run. Watch a movie and then hit the gym with a friend. Sometimes it is hard to find the time to do these things for ourselves, but make sure that you make a commitment to yourself to have a good time every now and then. The common problem seems to be that there is not enough time in a day to do all it is we have to do and also care for ourselves.

Lovers, children, bosses, pets, chores, errands. YIKES. You can care for and to do all these things, but do you care for yourself?

Cut yourself a break once you hit a threshold that demands you to relax, reflect and recline.

Just because I have this wonderful advice for all of you, does not mean that I have mastered this craft myself! OK, back to work for me and then off to the gym (0l