Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stained Glass Woman

St Catherine, 1500-25 Stained-glass, 92 x 58 cm
Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam

She is a simple woman, neither devastatingly beautiful nor perfect in size. However there is a mystical air about her when she walks alone. Before entering the windy and wet world that violently thrashes sin away by the kiss of the ever-falling rain, she peers up at the stained glass image of a woman on her knees praying with peaceful melancholy. This stained glass is no larger than the width of small hands folded in prayer and hangs just above the arched door she uses to take leave into the world outside, and will again come through to come home. With a flick of fascination she manages to stare into a daze at this curious image, though she has seen it a thousand times before. Full of colour and life, the scene depicts a way of thinking about devotion and desperation from another time for her. You see she does not subordinate herself to fall on her knees when she prays, she would much rather take the higher road by standing equally with her faith. The woman appears to be in some sort of desperation in the narration, her eyes are squeezed tightly and her body seems to be limp and broken. This reminds her of herself in another time, in another place – but she is no longer that image of weakened condition fallen from the hands of living grace.

As she steps into the outside world she buckles her knees together to remember not to be bow prey to all the vultures that will peer at her with temptation. She can see through the flames of hell and resist the taste of others fruits, even if they lick their grotesquely perfect lips and make her wet a little. As she walks with her head afloat above the simple minds, the noise that lifts and the sewage that rises to pollute the air into stale, she peers to the right of her to see the rain is about to subside. Only 32 steps from the arch of her door, then only 1 minute and 12 seconds from after the ceasing of the rain she sees a light form that attracts the tips of her eyes. The emergence of a rainbow, brighter than any she had seen before is like a vision. She is moved, she feels as though she is religious in that moment. Softly she begins to weep at her selfish misconception of the woman in the stained glass. Perhaps the woman is not as alien to her as the ancient past. She is awakening to realize the depiction is not of a woman desperate and in need, but that of a woman who sees evil and experiences ill intentions that longs for beauty to set her free. She now willingly falls to her knees.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I have been changing lately. I know people say that they are going through changes all the time, but in all honesty these changes that I am going through have had a different motivational factor then in those in my past. Previously I have made changes to allow myself to heal and move-on; now the changes I'm making are to make myself a wiser and more mature adult and human being. One could say sharpening the tip of my pen to make myself flow with better direction.

I am aware that life is hectic, that we do not necessarily all strive to attain the same on this journey. In the past I was too harsh when people did not react or act the way I wanted them too, and I didn't consider that perhaps they were being the best version of themselves in that moment, just like me. Though it was never intentional for me to shun judgments on those people, I today realize I did without awareness. I also gave those who did not deserve my attention after crossing the line of showing me respect, too much boost from the battery of my energy. This was not their fault, for any man or woman when tempted with kindness would be inclined to accept a helping hand. Now I think why wait for them to show you respect, show your damnself the respect you seek everyday.

I can not really explain what has happened to me, it is like a part of me has awaken into consciousness that I was previously unaware, a part of me that I have never granted access to the forefront of my decisions and emotional outputs. I am aware of the expression that "happiness lies in your own hands," and today this is interrupted by me to be the ability to alternate a previous state of discouraging mind and take charge of moving on and seeking peace and love. What if your way of thinking in the past was not wrong, but the reasons why you allowed yourself to be uprooted gave little regard to keeping sacred a little part of you - no one else could buy this part of or from you.

My soul is not for sale, of that I am sure. You may flash your temptations, have me in the trance of lust, but I will persevere in the end and come back to me. We all need a reason to rise again, and I have found now that the reason is me. My ups, my down, my in, my outs, my spontaneity and my fears. You see for me true change is to improve yourself to live and breath as a better person, to make the life that you lead and those who you are blessed to have at your side be proud of the individual you are and unravel to be.

I am changing. When the first leaf hits the ground, the tree slowly begins to feel more comfortable letting go of the second, and the third. Revitalization is nature. I am human nature.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Latest in Xtra: DYKE FIGHTS!

Have a laugh on me, will you? Click here, and don't forget to put on a helmet and a codpiece - this may hurt a little.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


I don't wanna come down from my discoball. When I groove you move your hips in a funky motion. Baby I'm into you. I sink and you float my move. You open up free when you dance for me. I'm in a trance watching you steal my heart. Knock me with your best shot, god I want you too. Motion that we're gonna make it happen when our energies get together.

Rush, put your hands around me. I can't express every inch of you smelling like my desire, red like blood licked in ecstasy. Come closer. Close your eyes. I wanna be inside you. Move with me. Throb with me slowly. I wanna look into your eyes and see how you want me. Feel me drip sweat because of you. I just wanna touch myself when I think of you. I can't just get you outta my head, like Kylie says.

Monday, October 5, 2009

"Changing the Light Bulb" A Night of South Asian Funny

Come join me stir-up some laughter for a good cause, alongside some pretty amazing South Asian talents in Toronto!!! Wear a diaper, or you may have a messy curry run stain in your pantaloons when you leave.