Tuesday, September 23, 2008


How does the world work in such comedic ways? It just does. If I knew that I suppose it would take away the thought of a good, spontaneous laugh!

Got one for you. I have become every lesbian stereotype, brought to life! I am currently a fix-it-dyke!

Impressive Improvements. That is our case. I would say that I am a quick learner- I am. I am given tools to insert, install, spread and rip out. This sounds like a Sunday at home for me. *W*

Remember, I am doing work that is strenuous on a 5'3 person! I am gaining an appreciation for listening to my music and singing up a storm, while engaging in fix-it tasks. I must say I look cute with paint on me.

My first assignment; priming until my fingers bleed. Somehow this feels quite amusing to me. I have never really taken on any jobs that involves physical labour (does walking from one side to the other of Silvercity Mississauga, my first job, count?).

I will be every woman's dream! I can build dreams with my two hands, like All For One. Ouch my shoulder hurts and my legs are tender. The hope is that I don't fall apart, and to use this dyke-sona to keep the writing dream alive!! HOLLER!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Surface Risings

Scrap the surface of your mind to find, that if what you do is really worth your time. Follow through with that which really matters, not things that give you the temporary excuse to act within a hectic gratification, with nothing real worthwhile in true satisfaction. Follow the signs - they are there as you walk by. When you see them and you have chosen to ignore them - don't turn to me and say that you should have known all along, but your eyes were sealed shut. Choose to change for the less, if you want to be anything less than the best. Hang your head with fluctuating intentions - you will not find me waiting for your kind of intentions.

Don't ask for help unless you are committed to making your life better and stronger. Don't ask me to be your friend if you can't give me that which I give you. I am fed-up, so sure of what it is that I deserve.
I am not your shadow anymore.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Spiders on My Wall

I've always been afraid of spiders.
I know they are god's creatures, as well as their insect relatives - but frankly the whole lot scare me.

I know its rude, we all have insides. With the ripe wine of my age I have learned to appreciate them as living beings. Though I will still admit that I don't like them per say. My rules are pretty straight forward. Don't come in my room if I did not invite you there.

I know I am a hypocrite because I walk in their world all the time. Perhaps I really do need a protective bug cover if I was to venture into the rain forest of wandering affinities.

I ask you to leave your judgments of me outside. I am just saying the truth of the matter. I feel afraid of the formed shadows of 8-legged intentions coming right at you - especially when you did not know they were their in the first place. Being vulnerable to their shock.

Usually the spiders run from you when they feel your gaze on them. The spiders see you looking at them, you shiver a bit in uncomfortableness. You know that they are there.

How do you chase the spiders away, I still don't have an answer for. I am still not fully settled with even the spiders that lay still.

Though now, sometimes I just leave them there.

Uncovering History's Mystery

When looking at history objectively, you can feel an inclination towards deciphering fact from fiction. But is this what history is really about?

While historians try and contextualize the actuality of events and people to tell in truth if these individuals really lived, or these momentous events really took place, I can also understand the value in myth and legend.

For many centuries myth and legend have been used to convey stories or morality, mortality, great love, epic battle and conquest. While modern technology and in-depth excavation and research has allowed us to gain an accessibility towards piecing together the tales of the past, it is clear that the message of history's lesson lay in the teachings, not necessarily in the facts.
The walls of Troy, modern day Turkey.

I am not trying to refute the importance of academia, or even question the importance of understanding the atmosphere that was unique to a particular time, place and culture - but I think it is important to acknowledge that myths and legends were passed on through generations past, to in-power subjects into believing in something bigger, better and perhaps even of mystical relevance towards personal spiritualism.

A stellar example of this theory is antique Greek culture. From Heracles to the legend of Troy - the Greeks spread messages that were important towards establishing the abilities of ordinary men and women. Think of that time and place and really it is not much different then our world today in terms of belief: deeply saturated in chaotic nature and destruction, we reach for hope and inspiration through la storia.

Myth and legend predate even the notion of world religions. Today we turn towards religion to find solace, salvation and hope in humanity and the concepts of a fulfilling afterlife, while the Greeks saw this in tails of the mighty Zeus and the merciful Poseidon.

We all long to find something to look up to - something that makes us feel a connection with divinity here on earth. The creative texture in which ancient myths and legends were framed by the people and then communicated so colourfully is the most remarkable legacy of these civilizations past.

History, for me, holds far more of an education then the simple pages of a textbook, or some coloured plates of reference. History is the greatest testament to the human imagination - the most powerful attempt to understand our past, to negotiate our present, to hopefully change our future.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

My Article on Firaaq for TIFF & All My Writings for Canadian Film Programmes Blog

As promised, click for my article on Nandita Das's, Firaaq.

You can also read all my writing for Canadian Film Programmes Blog, here.

I look forward to hearing any comments that you may have. This was a wonderful experience for me, that I soon won't forget.


Sweetest Awakening

Ordinary to extraordinary.
Falling from the sky to leave pieces of your mind wherever you go.
Cradle of creativity leaves only room for birthing ideas and thoughts.

Rejection of the ones who did not want to see you, or feel you.
Follow the golden trail of self-discovery knowing that you will seek what you find.

Unearth thee.
Follow thee.

What is meant to be, will be.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Love Inside Me

Fall from the pieces of my worship of your Queendom and allow me to grasp the magnitude of force you bring into my power.
Softly, nestled, close against my bosom, I will love you as though you were the last drop of water to nourish the merciful ocean that sustains life by feeding the shore of the Motherland.

You speak to me and I begin to melt into a heated frenzy of...of...irrationality. I'm so damn crazy, I can't help but feel so damn crazy. I pace in and out of my breath. You have captured the butterflies of my stomach within the reflection of your blushing demeanor. Your skin glows to show the colour of your most intimate organs.

Linguistic lips. Imagining the words I would say to you, though you are standing just there.
Silence makes you look immaculate, unreachable - like you are a mystical muse from a land beyond the reach of any imagination.

My hands wrapped around your sides. I wish to stand beside you and watch how beautiful you are when you move through my visions of something pure and true.
Powerful hips, sway with me, shake low with me, move for me.

Out of mind came desires. I planted the seeds of my desires, I have watered them with the sentiment of my belief in only you.
I watch you grow for me. I am here to protect you.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I Go DEEPA and I Get No Sleepa!

Hooooray! From Nandita Das, the star of Deepa Mehta's beautiful and provocative Fire, to the queen bee herself! Tonight I screen Deepa's latest creation, Heaven on Earth, at the Elgin. I am ready to impress and schmooze.

Am I ever so excited! Deepa is one of my favourite directors, and she will be there! I have waited for this moment. Like Das and Lisa Ray, I want to be her next muse!

Read about my tales from the Deepa tomorrow here. Also remember to read all my posts, reviews and comments about this years TIFF festival.

Good times kids! GREAT TIMES!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Cocaine---Goes Straight to Your Brain

I will not lie. I smoke pot. Every now and then I party the night away, thinking lights and sounds are coming from a spaceship and lifting me to the clouds of happy drag queens. But over the past year or so, I have noticed the heavy resurgence of one particular drug-coke.

Much like the problem usually starts, this is a habit that seems to be out of control, and is more destructive then sparking a simple dewbie. It is everywhere, in the gay world and straight world, among the young and old.

Now I am not writing this to be preachy, or to even judge. In fact my only hope is to bring awareness around this drug and the irritations in causes in peoples moods, and the erratic it inspires in behaviours. I have never touched it, nor will I ever touch it. In fact a close friend of mine battled with a heavy coke habit years back, and we almost lost out friendship over this white powder. The changes in her actions and her withdrawn nature was enough to put me off from even a curiousity.

The problem is that most people nowadays seek escapism. But coke is too quick a fix. The high is hard and quick, and that causes you to go back for more and more. In fact you have to do more to prevent yourself from feeling worse then before it first hit your system.

One more line, two more lines. I am not willing to put myself on the line. Coke does not make you cool. Coke does not take you back to a time and place of glamour. Coke is as ugly as the habit it creates in you. Like any hard drug, I think coke is such a dangerous habit because those who are on coke do not understand how much grief it causes loved ones. I have seen coke fuck people up, away and down.

I suggest keeping your nose out the white dust and focusing on a habit that is healthy, as opposed to self-destructive. If you can't stay up, go home. If you're bored, go home. If your over it, GO HOME!!

Please be safe and party responsibly.