America's Next Mediocre Model

So after my utter disappointment last week with ANTM, I thought I would stop being so GAY and give it one more week. So here it is kids. I have watched Episode #2, Cycle 8 and all the models are so MEH!

Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Give me faces, you useless bitches! There just seems to be a general vibe of mediocrity this year.

Russian chick, Natasha, oh LORD. Can someone get her some conditioner and an English teacher? She is soooo irritating!! Natasha, clearly should have been voted off this week, so we don’t have to hear her incoherence anymore! America is not the land of opportunities, GO HOME!

My forerunners stands as follows: Jael (Of course I am going to have a dyke-crush on Jael (throw me in Jael!)). , Brittany (very classic face), Jaslene (who borders on fierce latina and hoodrat!), and Whitney (BOBBY!).
But again, I am just not feeling the energy off these ladies, say like a Cari-Dee or a Niema—they seem just so regular and un-original. Where is the FIERCE??!!
But the toughest realization I have come to is this. I think that I am over Tyra and her foreheads antics. JUDGE THIS! Oh child, she is looking more and more like a drag queen as the years go by! Lord, tell me what’s up with all her Miss Cleo outfits (call me now!)?

Boring……But I am so gay and such a fashion whore, I just can’t stop watching! But let me break the illusions now of anybody that has a larger body. Though Tyra preaches healthier looking models, she still has some magga biaches on there that need to eat some FOOOOOD! So those who may believe that this is the year of the big girl, that is about as feasible as Tyra’s weave being the right shade. BLASTED!

YOU WISH!

Ok, I am done…

Love, J'Tyra

p.s. I will still be watching next week, I think it may be makeovers soon! It is like batttling the forces of good and evil within myself. Models bring out the ugly in me.