Daily Deep Dose

 Learn from the past, proceed, get better. Let go of anything that comes between you and your intuition. Trust that in this moment in time you know yourself better than anyone else. Decide to stay committed to knowing what you know, that is priority, for you are no longer who you were before. You now know so much more and realize that self-compassion is as valuable as it is for others.

Daily Deep Dose

Life is a strategic plan (oh god it's true)! To the plan you must add a dash of patience and allow your heart and body to guide you. A cat surrenders patiently for it's prey to approach, your dreams will come to you if you align intention with steady translation.

Daily Deep Dose

The modern human value system is a confusing set of contradictions. For example, we find ancient art and call it priceless, while we find little way to compensate our artists today. We praise the famous for there inherent  glory, but we tend to ignore the survivors, activists and community leaders that actually improve the world through persistence. We think money buys happiness, but money only perpetuates possession and war, reasons to hate and ignore.

Daily Deep Dose

We were never meant to bend, to be anything else than ourselves. It doesn't matter what seems safe, for wisdom is fruitful in those who take risks to channel the awareness they possess. Heroes convert uncertainty and challenge into ignition towards the calling they feel inside themselves. They accept defeat only in expectations, but always remember they are resilient and limitless.

Daily Deep Dose

Learning to be intuitive to self-healing is one of the most intrinsic survival skills. It's quite simple really: say 'no' when the value of your solitude and recovery means more than meeting expectations of others, while also, letting go of expectations and judgments of self. Saying 'yes' to knowing that you have the right to breath, feel, process and rest, so that in most moments, you can produce a carnation of your best.

Daily Deep Dose

Dealing with anxiety has been the most difficult challenge of my life. While some days I feel as though I will never get back to a stable balance, the more I understand my anxiety, I see it relates to my f.e.a.r (false evidence appearing real). I try my best each day, to not let f.e.a.r dominate my head, and have faith that I will heal and mend, and return to a peaceful place.

Daily Deep Dose

There comes a time when you let go of being a nice person in their eyes, and it becomes only important that you are a good person is your eyes. Your actions merit your energy input into the world and it's important to care for both yourself and others. Say what needs to be said, don't let fear stand in the way. Help those who need help and take help when you need it. If we all supported, shared and believed in each other, the world would change.

Daily Deep Dose

It is challenging to learn self-care in a society that values the hustle more than the flow. I believe that most people could be kinder to themselves, either in their thoughts or their choices. Our bodies are deeply intuitive and signal needed regeneration, but daily pressures seem to be given more value than being healthy. Learning to balance, regain and compassionately drive our paths with empathy means so much more than we know.

Daily Deep Dose

The more trust you grow in yourself, the more successful you will be at producing and attracting the life you want. Living the truth liberates mind and soul - take the time to search deeper.

Daily Deep Dose

The more you align with your inner-peace and passions, there more driven you will be by true intention. It is easy to dawn a mask or hideaway, but it takes courage to believe, remain kind and open and see your dreams come through by following your heart and earning respect.

Daily Deep Dose

Peace is greater than chaos. Hope is brighter than despair. Be kind to yourself, after all, all life requires time to repair from operational wear. Don't judge anything that you were, only be accountable to what you have allowed those experiences to make you be. The essence of you remains pure, self-apply a constant cure.

Daily Deep Dose

I close my eyes and feel buzzing energy coursing to my fingertips. Some sort of bright exchange happens when I still myself and listen to the motions of my breath. I exhale tension and inhale strength and peace. This is when I thrive at being alive.

Daily Deep Dose

It is hard to see clearly when you are attached to the idea of control. Whether you resist change, or are not ready to accept it, it will come. Embrace that life is abundant and that deserves eternal gratitude and conjuring of patience. 

Racism and Sexism Revealed During Toronto 2014 Mayoral Race

This Toronto Star article sums up all the intense feelings I was having during this election. As a woman of colour who has heritage beyond Canada, like many Canadians, these attacks were UNACCEPTABLE and INTOLERABLE. I do not accept an attitude and attack that makes the rest of us look like racist, uneducated, vulgar bigots. People need to take the time to evaluate there own hearts and perceptions of those around them. I think we can all agree these past weeks have been full off message to WAKE UP.

PP Power Jam #42: No Enemiesz

Love this lady. BIG TUNE, BIG VIDEO!! Kiesza makes me wanna dance!!! Hot, hot, hot!!!

PP Power Jam #41: Show Me Love

I think this song represents two of my favourite things: being gay and 90's dance!!! ROBYN S!!!!!!!!!!!

Daily Deep Dose

United we stand in diversity, to uphold peace. We are mostly kind as Canadians, and we take pride in believing that every person matters. Our will is to support each other, we seek to find better ways to achieve that. Senseless acts of violence home and abroad, we will not tolerated.

Daily Deep Dose

When attraction sparks, the rest is better to be left to the imagination. For if you have imagination, there are infinite possibilities and your potential is made stronger by being genuine and attracting what feels right and good.

Daily Deep Dose

What we allow to dominate our lives, will become the reality of our days. In order to reach new discoveries, it's vital we sway away from negative thoughts and self-destructive ways. Every step that has been taken along the way leads up to today. Believe in karma and hard work, that the universe will never let us fall, only encourage us to have patience and focus along the way. Things will never be the same again and that's ok. We are brave.

Daily Deep Dose

The most powerful influence art has is to inspire us to seek ways to express ourselves, beyond violence and intolerance, and to transcend visual barriers and often dividing creeds. If we all took the time to honour our expressions, we would nurture the energy of a world with less barriers and brighter imaginations investing in creating a united future.

Wake Up Toronto!!! Mayor Race 2014.

I am catching up on the Mayor Debate on CBC from a couple night ago. Seriously and with all my fury I say, NO MORE FORDS. I resent LGBTQ people being referred to as an "special interest groups" when Doug Ford replied as to why his brother and him were the only two City Councillors that voted against funding for rainbow crosswalks. Let us not forget the lack of support the Ford's always managed to show for LGBTQ communities. Recall straight out homophobia on many occasions and activism against shelters being built to support LGBTQ youth, showing a a lack of compassion for our future, a safe space and maybe a little hope. The Fords attack Tory for being corporate, but they vision a Toronto were people are also left behind. This election has my blood running because I care about people. I care about creating opportunities, I care about diversity. I want a Mayor who cares about Toronto, not just with plans and talk. For me there is only one choice, but no matter what you do, don't bloody well vote for a Ford and slap anyone who would. Olivia is the only choice.

If you have not seen this and you are a voter, watch it!!! Toronto Mayor Debate, Oct 16.

I'm with Olivia

Here is my official endorsement support for Olivia Chow for Toronto Mayor. Show your support if you feel inclined too. But no matter what, please vote!!!

For me, Olivia Chow represents gender equality and sincerity to all people.  Yes, Olivia may not be loud and have the outgoing traits of a 'typical politician,' but I am ready for someone that brings hope on a grassroots level to communities, not just corporate understanding. I am ready for a woman to take the helm of this city! EQUALITY MATTERS. Have a look at this interesting article on behind the Tory.

PP Power Jam #40: Hideaway

I am currently obsessed with this song. Loving the Canadian talent and she's not bad on the eyes. Uh hum - Kiesza can ring my bell!

PP Power Jam #39: Rather Be

Clean Bandit - ft. Jess Glynne. Japanese style with a banging voice!!

Daily Deep Dose

 I lost my peace of mind somewhere along the way. I look back and realize how far I pushed myself, to the point where my health severely compromised itself. I came so close to losing myself, I didn't even recall what it was to be happy. But now comes the slow healing, which reveals unhealthy habits I formed along the way. I feel deep nostalgia for an earlier, healthier version of myself. It remains to be seen, will I ever feel physically and spiritually rested once again. Worry, you are a lively force. Please let me go.

Embracing Change in Your Life

I have been going through a  massive amount of change transformation for the last few years of my life. While this process has been relentless and challenging on many levels, I think change comes as a natural precursor to transformation. What intrigues me the most when I think about my experiences is just how much the situations that I have lived and reacted too, have taught me about myself and my behaviours , that in some areas, demanded fashionable adjustment. That is, if it came down to a fundamental reality, as harsh as it may seem, in order to survive the ups and downs of life, you must trust that everything happens for a reason.

Both you and I, him and her, them and us, experience change in a constant flow and the sooner we accept change as a companion, rather than an enemy, the greater appear the chances to conquer perceived limits. I know for me at times, I have gone through debilitating anxiety that bred the fear of extinction, Borg assimilation! While in reality, I have been only a constant survivor, unique in form. How about you, how tough are you on yourself? When you look at your track record, what would it look like if it were a resume? What would happen if we all worried a little less and had a little more faith in ourselves? I feel confident on placing the bet that many of us would be doing something different than what we are doing now, in love, in relationships, in careers and in health.

What if self-worth was not influenced by yesterday, but rather a sign that more was yet to come? You and I know that everything had usually turned out better than ok, the ride got bumpy, but we found the way.

Daily Deep Dose

It is not any easy feat to strike a balance between work and personal life. All too often we become so drained and unsatisfied with what we contribute to each day, that bringing home a pay cheque becomes mundane when our sense of happiness and wellness drains away. For those who have a break, they prioritize their value and wait until opportunities that allow them to live their skills and passions find there way.

Olivia Chow is Toronto's ONLY CHOICE for Mayor

I am really getting very aggravated of all the personal attacks Olivia Chow is taking due to her ethno-cultural background and immigration to Canada (implying she is less Canadian). Toronto, smarten up. We are a city made of eclectic cultural fibers, we are a city of diversity and refuge for those who seek a better life. My parents were expelled from Uganda by Idi Amin and came to Canada for a new beginning. Toronto needs a new beginning with a Mayor who understands our struggles and identities and is willing to be a voice for all people. I am fed-up of Toronto politics being dominated by homophobic, greedy, privileged white men who may know how to speak politics and policy, but know NOTHING about what matters to the broader public. Her campaign may not be perfect, but I am willing to support a change that empowers a brighter and more sustainable city for all of us, not some of us.

Daily Deep Dose

When you truly trust what is before you, you must be willing to leave perceptions of how you thought things should be, and instead accept that all is unfolding according to what needs to be. Destiny can be unfulfilled when you let your happiness and productivity be controlled by external forces. Don't wait, there is no time to hesitate or worry about yesterday. Don't give in to fear, you're so close to emerging with a new way of thinking of success.

Daily Deep Dose

Don't be afraid to drive yourself in the direction you need to go. Appreciate that the road you have traveled has led you to know intimately, what fulfills your soul. When your calling is authentic, there is no reason to fear anything at all. Show yourself, because after all, you are unique and that's what is best to show.

Farewell Hurricaine Hazel

Farewell to Mississauga's iron lady. Thanks for making Mississauga a safe, diverse, environmentally conscious and fun city to grow up in. You could teach Toronto mayors a few things! Wesst siddddde!!!!

A Message from the Mayor:

Dear Friends,

2014 will mark a special milestone for me for after 36 years as Mayor of the City of Mississauga, I will be retiring from political life.

As I reflect on the last 36 years, the memories, accolades and defining moments are too numerable to count but one thing stands out and which has always meant the most to me - the people.

I have had the unique opportunity to meet people of every age, ethnic background and view point. Some have charmed me, some have inspired me and some have challenged me but I shall forever be grateful for the encounters. The friendship, advice and wisdom of all those who have crossed my path are a blessing and I am a better person for the experience.

Public service is one of the most noble pursuits we can undertake as citizens and every man, woman and child has the ability to serve their community in some way. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

Leaving a legacy is far more important than leaving an inheritance in my view for a legacy is something left behind to inspire those that come after us and for others to learn from. I hope that those that follow me will be inspired to be great leaders and always put Mississauga first.

I want to express my sincere and heartfelt appreciation to the citizens of Mississauga for the support and kindness you have shown to me for the last 36 years and it has been a great honour and privilege to have served as your Mayor. I hope that the future will be filled with good health, happiness and an abundance of blessings for you all.

Sincerely,

HAZEL McCALLION, C.M., LL.D.
MAYOR

PP Power Jam #38: Be Mine (Remix)

Robyn remixed feat. Rye Rye. Enough said.

Daily Deep Dose

Find a place for yourself, within yourself. Every time you feel afraid, anxious or insecure, place your hands on your chest and let the pattern of your breath do the rest. When each experience is felt and done, it is how you learned to surpass challenges that gave you the right to be proud of yourself.

Daily Deep Dose

Thoughts don't always tell you the truth. People don't always tell you the truth. You don't always tell yourself the truth. Do yourself a small deed, let yourself feel uncomfortable until the feeling passes to truth. The unsteady feeling always passes, eventually. Truth is, you have no idea what is chartered in your path and the only way to find out is to have faith. Look back at what you lost to gain strength in yourself. Loving yourself is not easy, but nothing worthwhile is easy.

Daily Deep Dose

 I often find myself dreaming of touching the clear, blue ocean. All the mysteries hidden inside her belly, the potential of her depth and knowing she paced steadily, nourishing breath, over thousands of years. The vastness of her ability to sustain so much unique life, all amazingly dressed in unique tones, yet clearly individual. It is the place where serenity surrounds me and the perspective astounds me. I long for the ocean to take my worries away.

Daily Deep Dose

The day that she walked out the door sometimes still feels like yesterday, through in reality that heartbreak is miles away. I never question the love I had for her in my heart, but I acknowledge the woman I still needed to become alone. I thought I was ready for love, but the truth is that I still had to feel the lows so that I was prepared to be more aware. I never regret the warmness of her embrace, even if now it lingers as memories mostly faded away.

Daily Deep Dose

To love is a brave endeavor. Love is  certainly not for the faint of heart or the weak in spirit. She requires constant patience, tenderness and oath. Once you welcome her presence, it is best to cross your heart and follow her lead. She will lead you to transform yourself, she will breath power to lift you from despair. Silently, you will know she is always there.

PP Power Jam #37: Like a Prayer

The performer who has influenced my artistry the most, doing my favourite song ever = everlasting bliss.

Daily Deep Dose

Today I press the reset button on perspective. Admitting that sometimes what appeared as misfortune, is actually an opportunity in disguise. I place my heart in my convictions, devoted to keep being honest with my words - struggles and highs. I remain committed towards finding myself when needed and knowing that I can make a difference in the lives of others. Firstly though, I release myself from limitations and embrace what I am capable of.

Daily Deep Dose

No circumstance should interfere with your connection to your core purpose. There is no position that should diminish your drive from helping others who are less fortunate. For it is through focusing on others we are truly able to become better ourselves. Lead a life with humility, recalling a time where love from another elevated you to pull through. We are here as one family, and only as one family can we stop war, injustice and poverty.

Daily Deep Dose

 To be fearless you have to move through uncomfortable moments. It is through challenges you realize that abundance comes from a place of infinite potential and that creativity has no limits. Spirits shine best when they stroke genius and put doubt to rest. It's so much easier to have gratitude when you let go of all the ideas you had in place, and instead pursue the truth as a destination that can be trusted as worthwhile.

Daily Deep Dose

Life does not happen to you, it happens for you. Trust that everything that comes and goes is delicately put in place by invisible forces, to encourage you to elevate your belief in yourself. You know what makes you feel passionate, so don't settle for anything that doesn't  ignite a spark in you. Easy is safe, difficult requires exploring inner space. Listen to your heart, she knows the way.

Daily Deep Dose

Anything is possible when you know that there are brighter days ahead. Just hold on. Every person suffers a tremendous amount in a lifetime and burdens block the release of trapped memories easily. But as surely as the moon rises in the night sky, so to will you time and again. At some point a shift in perception makes you realize that health is all that matters and not to submit to unhealthy thoughts, for they're here to deceive you into forgetting to be present and breath.

Daily Deep Dose

Tonight I look at the sky humbly, watching the clouds clear to see the biggest Supermoon of 2014. I sit in meditation, not leaving her gaze, and ask her to light my hopes and intentions and give strength to new beginnings. Tonight, I feel alright.

Daily Deep Dose

Everyday you become a little more like yourself. Don't let anything block you from shining through the magic within you. Don't be afraid, for if you allow peace to be with you it will never go away. No matter how stubborn you will be, your destiny will be - it's in the cards. Don't fear your trauma, don't believe that your past feelings define you. Place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath. You are reborn each day.

American Tragedy: The Loss of Micheal Brown

I am trying to understand the magnitude of what Micheal Brown's loss means to all of us. As long as racism damages our communities, our neighbours and friends, there is no sense of justice and human rights. Racism is systemic violence. Until there is no racism, no sexism, no homophobia, no injustice or bigotry- I feel there is so much work for me to do - and for you too.

May we never forget that the outrage and sadness this tragedy has shown, every humans life matters and African Americans were emancipated long ago - let them be free!!! We still have a long way to go as a human race. Rest in peace young man. We will remember you.

Daily Deep Dose

Failure does not exist when it comes to personal growth. Rather, each experience presents you an opportunity to grow.  So rather than thinking negatively, let all tension go. Focus your energy on that which is now, exploring opportunities and possibilities that wouldn't have presented themselves  if everything stayed neat and controlled. Your thoughts have more power than you know, so learn to observe your patterns and release those that take a chaotic hold.

Daily Deep Dose

Slowly she unraveled what all along she had been chosen to see. There were no false pretenses or fears of what others expected her to be. The people and experiences that caused her grief and stress had crippled her enough into unhealthy anxiety. She began to regain some sanctity and with it belief in her very own abilities.

PP Power Jam #36: Monument

Robyn is my favourite new-generation pop artist. I love her honesty and creativity and find her on my headphones all the time. I can't wait to see her later this month in Toronto with Röyksopp!!! I love how she is just herself.

Daily Deep Dose

Freedom is liberating, as it gives you perspective that anything is possible if you attract what you believe. Release yourself from the tense hustle and instead take it nice and slow. Remember things may slip temporarily away from you, but you can retrieve passion at any time. Your soul will always come home.

Daily Deep Dose

Your calling comes when you listen to your heart & let go of the blockages in your body. Awareness takes the lead & the past only builds foundations for opportunity. What holds you back from being at your best is yourself, it's a snap decision. Where did this all begin - everything goes so quickly and if you don't feel the universe in your belly, the future that awaits dissipates from vision. Don't be confused, your place in the world is up to you. Be brave enough to seek it.

DNA & Destiny

What makes way is not a coincidence if you fulfill your journey. Signals will indicate when you are off the path, but it is up to you interrupt the messages. Spiritual suspension comes when you realize that nothing can take away the call of your natural drive - it comes without effort, like the roar from a lioness when she protects her cubs from danger. Even without sight, walk through the shadows of the night keeping in mind that knowledge is revealed through moonlight. 

You are a little piece of imperfection built to thrive. You are beautiful in joy and sadness, in bliss and defeat. No matter how many times you fall, you climb back on top. Imagine that you could reach what is truly meant to be for you - how rare would that be in this society? 

You do not need to teach a cat to purr, she just knows how. You do not need to seek happiness, it lives in you when you release all the tension and stress and leave hard work and karma to the rest.

Daily Deep Dose

Let it go now. Whatever it may be. Don't let it spoil any hope for today or tomorrow. Open your heart and allow creativity to shine through. You see, if you are a creator you must create or you will suffocate. Live in an instinctual place that  feels as good as real love. You were meant to be spirited away, feel the possibilities of expression that tip your quill. Let the ink spill.

Daily Deep Dose

Learning to love yourself without compromise is not an easy achievement. Moments allow the exchange of energies and sometimes what appears as good, really is toxic. Be brutally honest, it's not worth your health. Your experience is your own to elate. Listen to the messages your body gives and tell your mind to quiet thoughts that no longer serve to empower the present. Keep faith what may come is part of the plan. You're strong and you deserve to risk it all: let the light through the crevices of your scars.

Daily Deep Dose

No matter where I go, I will leave a signature of my myself. I'm a being of artistic expression, and what I interact with, I hope to leave a positive signature on. I worry when I don't place faith in myself first. I know how damaging the cycle of being caught up in unhealthy thoughts can be. It's a road better less traveled. Supporting my abilities and remembering that I'm a constant survivor is better. I know what it takes to get better - now I know.

Daily Deep Dose

Every action does not deserve a reaction. Establishing a shield around yourself and allowing your senses to determine if the reaction being provoked is necessary, most things must be let go. Let it be, live in a place where suffering is not self-inflicted and your dreams take precedent to reinforce your measure of success. In the end be sure to allow happiness to unfold without fear. Nothing lasts forever.

Daily Deep Dose

Life is a process of learning when to grow in solitude and when to let someone in past all the damages. Lately, in moments, I have felt open to loving another again. An instinctual craving to be taken by her and her sweet attention. To feel her breath on the side of my neck. To kiss her like she is exchanging passion with me, beautifully. The ride may have it's ups and downs, but I believe in love and I always will. When the time is right along will come my Queen.

Crowning Quotes from Game of Thrones

Daily Deep Dose

 Find a place where you are free. Where you feel empowered to be yourself and where you can celebrate your uniqueness. Exist in this place at all times, for the truth is that when you are yourself, you are at your best. No matter what others don't say. Love all that you endure and all that you hold dear. In the big picture, blessings are gratitude for the opportunities life makes. Keep your faith strong and your head high

Daily Deep Dose

When falling from the sky, the bird manages to spread her wings and take a steady glide. Unsure of where her next destination lays, she closes her eyes and succumbs to knowing that dreams are forecasted in the sky; if she just manages to look up high. Clouds may occur outside, but when she feels inside she finds that she doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Love is cradle and that rocks her soul. Taking perspective above it all, she knows what is coming will be virtuous and full of possibility.

Daily Deep Dose

 As I walk into the unknown, the only flicker of light that appears is hope. Deeper faith after oodles of contemplation ushers in a new mindset for me, accepting that happiness does not birth from false securities, it is my own to seek. I sometimes worry that I am not good enough, not smart enough, that I will strike out on my own. Removing these thoughts and having faith that my next working adventure will allow me a greater sense of peace and be better suited for me.

Daily Deep Dose

Don't let any relationship or attachment separate you from the source of yourself. There is no one who deserves your power and care more than you. Look deep into your heart and find the illusions. Stop caring about foul scents lingering around you, so you can get on with it. Don't look back. It won't make sense now, but it's all a piece of the puzzle that is yours to create.

Daily Deep Dose

When something is right, you don't have to force it to stay. Like a breath comes naturally, softly inhale life in all it's tremendous shapes and forms. Don't dwell on the past because the memories that haunt will be left behind in time, and today a person will rise who is more dynamic and cultivated than a shadow long past. Free your mind from burdens and burrow a way to the love in your soul. Only you know the way.

Daily Deep Dose

Change what you can, accept what you can't. Nothing is easy, but nothing right should feel impossible. Release emotional and physical tension, knowing it's better to let it all out than bottle it inside and be afraid. With age comes more weight, problems, bills, twists and turns. Be confident if you make the effort you will survive.

Daily Deep Dose

 I know that what I have seen is often not to be trusted, for sights are fleeting like time and woe. I am able to free myself of fear when I remove what I can see and have faith in what is invisible to me; kind thoughts, karma and that which I will consciously attract to me. Knowing that something silent surrounds light around my heart of gold. When I close my eyes what I see is infinite opportunities. May my mind be still, finally, and see stillness offers possibility. The road ahead will be no less than great.

365 Days

I do not carry a dark heart, in fact I usually am able to see the light in mostly every situation. But I must say, these past 365 days I have seen, felt and experienced things that I never knew before. Sure there is love, but there is also deep pain. At the end of the day any stability that is present will all fade away. The things that you love most will leave you or die, and you will be left with your head in your hands with so much grief that it doesn't seem fathomable to process to the most heroic of hearts and minds. I am no longer able to be ethereal in any way, because suffering has come for me, taunted me with questioning the worth of my life when I was vulnerable and broken inside. I realized that I was no longer able to be strong for the ones I love, nor was I able to be connected  towards the experiences that had once set me free. I was unable to take on the grief of the ones that mattered most to me the way I was use to, even when they needed me. My tank was empty and it all stemmed from night after night of no sleep. It felt like perpetual insanity that my body would not just submit to slumber, what was the matter with me? I tired it all: anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medications, but nothing seemed to work. I was perplexed as the pharmacist has just told me that this pill would allow me to gain 6-8 of solid rest. Acupuncture, tinctures, yoga, meditations, herbs, all had passed through me. What was the matter with me - had I mutated into some sort of un-human beast? Was the universe taunting my sanity to the edge of the plank and nudging me to fall? The thing that hurt the most is that I no longer felt I could create my art - my words, positivity, the love that resided inside me. It felt like I had been raped and exposed, lying naked in the middle of floor, then I scurried under a table where no one could see the monster that had become me. Friends assured me that things would get better, doctors and family too. However there were at least 180 of those 365 days when I was am empty shell with no reason or way. The only thing that kept me alive and made me move was the thought of feeding my beautiful daughters, my sweet feline hearts. If it was not for them I would have likely just faded away. Maybe one day some one would have discovered my writing alongside my shadowy grave and realized that I had something worth saying, or perhaps an honesty that was rare. What a shame I passed away.

Here I am 365 days later and I have survived. Things are far from perfect, but god damn it I am still alive and I have in me still some bit of a fight. My friends assure me that I am a stronger woman today and that because of these experiences, I have earned the right of passage to a new phase of my life. I am actually ready to allow some parts of me to fade away, regaining my strength slowly day-by-day. This new me will be even better than before, she is not a theory, she is actually manifested into a force. Most importantly I have learned the value of myself like never before, though I still wonder why I was not good enough in many scenarios. First hand I have witnessed a miracle of life and the loss of lives that were premature - the sadness of friends that I love with all my heart and respect; those who push me to try each day, I thank them silently and vocally each day. Of what is ahead, I am scared and unsure. But I have made a promise to myself, the words that come to the tips of my hands are to share, as long as I am able to be a vehicle, everything will be ok. I would be happy to die this way. It's time for hard changes, no matter how much I feel scared. The time has come, may the universe grant me the strength.

Gay is Golden!

.....oh and by the way, I am a lesbian.

Daily Deep Dose

It may empower you to be homosexual, or make you feel afraid. I ask you to look on the bright side. So much natural beauty exists without judgment or opinion. Flowers do not ask permission to bloom bright. Never feel you have to hide. You're not too gay, nor too butch. You are simply a unique person, who belongs amongst it all. You're beautiful. Happy World Pride friends! 

Daily Deep Dose

Whether you welcome it or not, the tides will carry you to places you never expected to go. Prepare for the unexpected and never forget what got you to where you are now. Don't look back, but never lose sight of what encouraged you to look forward. Mostly, learn to trust what your eyes cannot see.

Crowning Quotes from Game of Thrones

“All men must die, but we are not men.” -Khaleesi/Daenerys Targaryen

Lazarus

There once was a beautiful girl without a scorned heart. She felt every drop of imagination fall like rain between her fingertips. The world was a sea of opportunities and the roads endless in pursuit. With her heart in-hand, she followed with conviction but very little hesitation. When it came to choices, her heart often forgot to consult her mind. And that mind of hers could be as blind as a bat and stubborn as an ox. As times went on she felt the ups and downs, the loves and losses, the gains and the truth. That nothing was quite as it had seemed. That no matter where she ran, there she would be looking back at herself or she had to choose to move on. But moving on was not as easy as packing a few boxes and writing a sorry letter or two, it meant being afraid, surviving with a little help of her friends. It meant exploring women with her body and mind and being more clear about what sort of energy was welcomed. An opportunity to explore what she had ruled out, possibilities that she would have never otherwise explored. The transformation was anything but graceful, it came with loss of sleep and feelings that were terribly torn and confused. Never knowing that she would be required to be a fighter, her heart pressed on when she was able to quiet her mind. So many thoughts about what had come and gone and what may lay ahead. Her head had become a busy place. But busy was not the pace of the life she desired anymore. Some days she knew she didn't belong here anymore. There was no doubt that she was resilient, the question was how much would she have to endure? How many times would she have to rise after a fall? What was next for her to experience?

PP Power Jam #35: Frozen

This is one of the most beautiful art performances I ever saw live. Madonna at her best is amazing. You are the key.

Daily Deep Dose

Often moments and actions that are perceived as defeat actually trigger an important process of self-reflection and silent contemplation. The greatest discoveries made about oneself are in absolute silence, when distractions are without presence and one is able to step-aside to witness pent-up emotions without judgement. Accept each experience as purposeful and know that karma is compiled over many seasons of change. Remain open in heart and mind.

Daily Deep Dose

I become preoccupied with wanting to know what my next move is and worry how I will survive as a single income sometimes. I forget to practice a little patience and take a step back and assess all the fragments of my life - letting go of what experiences have served there time and celebrating the potential of what lay ahead. I must release this pressure I keep placing on myself, it's a matter improving my mental health.

Your Turn

Work by Tamara de Lempicka

I am a little strange I suppose, but I prefer "interesting". If you ask me what it is that I want from you, and I am simply going to put my expectations aside and live in the moment. "I want a great conversation and to exchange _____ with you. Is that cool?" I ask that you reply honestly, for if I do not tickle your fancy, or you want to tickle my fancy, in time words, body language and actions will tell. Whether you come back for more is your choice. I do not have much care to search and  find what others lack anymore, especially when it comes to compassion, intelligence, sexuality and decisions. In this game that you and I could play, each person has the right to choose moves they desire the most. To taste what the other has to offer and whether it is enticing or sour like the past, but the move is always yours to make.

The Last Days of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes

If you did not see this and you are in a place that requires healing and compassion, allow this to be the light in the midst of a loss of a woman who inspired and struggled with herself, her whole life. So much respect for Left Eye. Her genius is undeniable, Gemini Queen. Xxo

Daily Deep Dose

Awareness lives inside you. It never betrays you and often signals to warn you when something is not right, whether through physical or mental symptoms. Take the time to honour this powerful intuition that is as much a part of you as your DNA. You don't need to seek it, you just need to listen and accept the wisdom it holds. Awareness resonates with such fortitude, as it is your soul's way of communicating to your living state.

Daily Deep Dose

 Trusting the unknown is a way of changing limiting perceptions. Trust that your soul will leave an eternal signature behind, far after your physical body is gone. Work on creating that legacy actively, day and night, spring and winter. Acknowledge all the discouraging and cheeky voices in your head and around you, but don't allow them drive you away from your divine purpose. Sit quietly and believe, the simplicity of happiness comes from breathing and embracing peace.

Daily Deep Dose

It is in solace with fear and imperfection that grow into a real woman. Through the generosity of an innate wisdom I have come to know well, I listen to the breath of life move through me and the secrets of survival whispered by the resilient branches of trees that speak with me. I am nothing less than everything that I am meant to be. I am a small piece of creationism that evolves through obstacles, faithfully.

Daily Deep Dose

 I won't worry about tomorrow because when it's all over, I will always survive. My Mom always taught me to have faith and be kind, my Dad to respect myself. When I open myself to chances, they're full of opportunity. My mind can be deceitful and cruel to me. I have my womanhood, my mind, my ambition and my heart. A womb that is full of expression, like a cat purring with tender affection. My loving tastes and feels so good.

Vintage Vault: Sophia Loren

Che bellissima! There is nothing more sexy than a classical beauty and elegance.

Daily Deep Dose

When you evoke true passion, the Universe will surely affirm your disposition when you least expect it. The greatest feeling is an inner glow, when someone wonderful unexpectedly comes along and brightens your day. Just keep on doing what you do best and enjoy the rest!

Me on the Iron Throne!

I am well more than obsessed with Game of Thrones! I checked out the exhibit at TIFF Lightbox a few days ago and it was awesome! Complete with a 3D experience climbing the wall as part of The Knights Watch. It was a great experience. Now I am just thinking of my GOT name and family name...suggestions?

Daily Deep Dose

There is no need to worry about anything at all. Each time I have allowed my faith to cure my worries, I have always been rewarded by the generosity of life. Change may not be desirable to me, and becoming attached to a way of living is easy. However, of one thing I am sure: I will try by best to keep my creativity and spirit safe. They are the essence of my presence and I choose to live out my dreams, no matter what obstacles may block the way.

Mercy

La Pieta, Michelangelo, 1498-1499 (I saw this with my own eyes and it was the hand of perfection).

She became encapsulated in worry and sorrow. She had been stressed, anxious and so sad for too long. She had listened to the thoughts in her head over and over again, desiring for something that had past to come back to her - the return of herself. The inability to communicate with herself that she was in fact worth everything and more. So many had so little to say to her when she had asked them for the truth. Night after night, she knew something was going on to make her choose whether hope would sink or swim. Through her sheer strength she had manged to pull through all the dead exhaustion. Yet somehow her heart had grown stronger and stronger, through it all. She sat with her head in her hands and thought all the ways she had caught herself in a net. She realized that though it hurt so damn much, she couldn't let herself go. She felt best when she wrote or sang to herself. There more she looked inside, she finally realized that she was at her best when she lived with her life. When she allowed the keyboard to tap without thoughts on the contents of her head. That she was constantly blessed with many appropriate talents to have a life filled with celebration and the steady reduction of fears.That she could remember the past and how rough the tides had crashed the shore, but yet again love remained the only light. As the night sky opened up each night, the sound of sirens outside made her even more determined to find a way to put the damage aside.

PP Power Jam #34: Chiquitita

Abba makes magic and picks me up with a smile. No matter what, today there is hope.

Daily Deep Dose

It's all about the attitude you strut with. Your attitude follows you around, it influences your decisions and hopes. It molds moments and self-worth. Own that attitude so that you can walk with conviction and believe in yourself, even when you loose faith. Never let your attitude be dictated by external influences. Your perceptions create opportunities/attitude.

Daily Deep Dose

I saw a documentary today that deeply moved me - Tomorrow We Disappear. It's about a colony of street artists in New Delhi's Kathputli Colony - they are being forced to leave because there is going to be the development of a high rise and mall. What I realize so clearly: 

We lead such a different life when we move away from simplicity. They live with little but have so much joy. We have so much and we struggle with our worth. Art gives us a purpose, as much as our names do. The most powerful possession we have is our own gifts. Create without worry and heal the soul.  

Daily Deep Dose

Have the courage to pursue your dreams. Don't settle for what is easy, even if it is accessible. Hold out for a role where you can express your talents and feel satisfied by the work you carryout each day. In the long-run, the more you believe in yourself, the happier you will be. You deserve respect.

The Injustice of Professional Sports - Sochi and Beyond

Everyone recalls the homophobia and outright social injustice that took place in Russia during the Sochi Olympics 2014. Yet somehow, the world came, played and left without paying little attention to helping transform the lives of those who are victims of controlled injustice. I watched the Olympics because I celebrate the athletes and I find it very exciting; I don't think those who trained so hard should be punished for the bad decisions of the governing bodies of the Olympic games. However I do strongly believe that the selection of a hosting city should be primarily based on the way they treat their own people. We should not pour economy and celebration into places that preach bigotry and hatred.

Professional sports are racist, sexist and homophobic - is this news shocking to anyone? We have seen this outplay over and over. It seems that money can buy almost anything, but not morality and justice. It's too bad that athletes that come from humble beginnings have to make deals with the devil to be celebrated for their talents. Who is the master and who is the slave? Sports are meant to bring people together, not divide them.

Daily Deep Dose

Often what is perceived as the end is actually a new beginning. In order for space to be found so that you may grow, you must let go of expectations from before. I never have felt so confident alone, I have learned that it's ok to be single and fulfilled by giving myself the best of me. One day I may be ready for another's love, but today I choose me. 

Daily Deep Dose

Live your life in a way that fulfills you. Don't worry about meeting the status quo in any way, just live freely and with real hope that what is meant to come, will come. What has served it's purpose should be released, so that you can truly focus on your spiritual journey. Grinding at the 9-5 each day, let what really matters have as much focus each day. Look at your priorities, is life pushing you to see new opportunities?

Game of Thrones Exhibit at TIFF Lightbox

I can't decide who I want more - Cersei or Mother of Dragons. So I choose both. I am so addicted to this show, this is making me nerd out hard!!!

Daily Deep Dose

Everyday wake up with hope & never give up on tough days. Listen to your heart & body, don't stress. Love is a journey and the destination is within.


4/20/14:
To endure suffering is a sign that you are living life and learning the best. Rise every time you hit the floor, brighter days are upon you. Rule destiny, never give up.

PP Power Jam #33: Special

I can't find words to express how much I relate to this song. It brings tears and hope. Listen to the words and carry the message in your hearts, friends.

Vintage Vault: Whitney Houston in Highschool

My favourite voice of all-time, WH attended Mount Saint Dominic Academy, a Catholic girls high school in Newark, New Jersey. RIP, Queen.

Daily Deep Dose

 Sincerely, I thank all the players, haters, ex-lovers and ex-friends for the grief and discomfort they may have caused me and my stubborn ways. It is through their hateration, indifference and selfish ways that I am moulded into the fierce woman I am today. If we ever pass ways, just smile and even say 'hey,' but know that it's better you stay away. I have no place for past energy in my everyday.

Daly Deep Dose

Only with an open-mind can we achieve an open-heart. When we consciously respect the beauty that each living being embodies, we realize that through differences we are able to celebrate the magnificence of all creation and life. North to south, east to west, instead of looking at our differences as a flaw, celebrate them instead.

Daily Deep Dose

 Through solitude I have grown into a different woman. There was a time when solitude crippled me and all I could hear was the sound of sadness clapping in my ear, and a feeling of death lingering near. Now with solitude I have found peace, a place of silence where I am reminded that my soul is free and only I can cage her into captivity. Past casualties have been endured to guide me to remain one with my love and creativity - I'm still me.

Daily Deep Dose

While certain moments have caused you to fall on your knees and cry, it is these crippling times that have taught you how to fly. Of what you can be certain; when you let go of what you thought you should be, you can finally fulfill the infinite possibilities of what you may become.

Daily Deep Dose

The path you take is that of your choice. There should be no desperation or pressures that lead you astray from the intended way. However, there should be no stubbornness that insists it is wrong to adjust the course when the signs want you to ask why. Never cease to believe that you have a place through it all.

LGBTQ Friends: Get Screened!

Cancer can be prevented and treated effectively when detected. However,  lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer communities are less likely to get screened than those who are heterosexual. It is important that all colourful individuals, no matter sex or orientation take a look at the important program that The Canadian Cancer Society has launched by clicking here: Get Screened. 

The Get Screened program aims to increase colon, breast and cervical cancer screening rates among LGBTQ communities in Ontario. Take the action to take care of yourself, afterall, your health is important!

Daily Deep Dose

So much hurt, so much pain, each day is yet undetermined. I know it takes some time to regain what has been lost inside. All I ask for is the strength to believe in myself when my spirit is being put to the test. To remove sadness and frustration and trust the universe will show me the way. To rest my mind and body and awake refreshed and brand new. To remember what I wanted then, may not be what I want now. Brave it out.

Daily Deep Dose

Worry less about reactions and put more thoughtfulness into your actions. Actions speak intention, so think before you act and consider prior to when you speak. The more time you place into making wise decisions, the less time you will spend regretting what could have been done differently. Do right from the start to minimize the strain on your heart.

Daily Deep Dose

Learning to develop your focus to further encourage a successful life, requires the discipline and attitude of positivity. External forces should not impact this road, it is for you to drive at your goals. If you work hard at what you do, the universe will reward and acknowledge you. You need to have perspective to see how this comes through. It may not be how you imagined it would, but infinite possibilities are open to you.

Daily Deep Dose

There is nothing wrong with believing you deserve the best, if you strive to be your best without the input of ego. Nothing is worth sacrificing yourself, as there comes a time of resignation -  to choose to truly see the signs that some pieces just don't fit right. Spend more time convincing yourself that self-respect and envisioned hopes are valid and less time convincing others of your worth. Those that do not see your value have consciously chosen to be blind, don't be fooled, they can see just fine.

Midnight Juggernauts: Systematic - Surrealistic Felines Cascade to the Beat of the Cosmic Australian Trio

Ummmm holy catnip, this is amazing!!!

Midnight Juggernauts: Systematic on Nowness.com


Daily Deep Dose

I trust that with spring comes the birth of new hope, the creation of paths and beautiful life. The gloom days that have followed me through winter are finally going to subside, and the sun will kiss me sweetly with her nourishing smile. I wondered if I would make it through, now I no longer need to worry because I have survived. Like all living creatures, I happily embrace the coming of light.

Daily Deep Dose

When I was younger, I sought the protection of others to feel I belonged. As the years passed on I realized that unfortunately, often the ones you love are the ones who hurt you the most. So now I have to reconsider where I seek this sense of safe and self. Past stings from others still linger down low, but without a doubt, these difficulties have changed me beneficially. I know now that with my remarkable spirit is the place where I belong. I must protect myself, for my spirit deserves a safe home.

Daily Deep Dose

If you ever observe the way a cat moves, she is selective about what causes her to extract a reaction. She neither dwells on the past, nor fusses about the future. She is unaffected by external distractions. Her only focuses are survival and keeping herself and the ones she cares for well. It may appear she is lazy, but she will conjure up a pounce if something is worth the fight. All too often she finds, the best reaction is no reaction. Then it's time to move on. 

Daily Deep Dose

Back and forth, so the rhythm of life goes. You have to choose yourself as the pinnacle of focus at all times, even when others you love require time. It is not that others are unimportant, it is that you mustn't forget you are important too. You deserve love and care and to ultimately be accountable for your care. At this moment in your life, it is your responsibility to formulate hindsight. Take control of what you know and let all the bothersome pieces from yesterday go.

Daily Deep Dose

I have found her now. I had been looking in all the wrong places. I never knew a love like this before. She sticks with me through thick and thin, she tantalizes my mind and she's not afraid to admit her mistakes with humility. She doesn't let me get away with nonsense, or ignore past lessons. There is no one quite like her for me. It is the most intimate experience to watch her seed. Her name is Me, and she is the focal point of my unpredictable journey. I have learned to love her endlessly.

The Healthier Option

I am no longer am searching for who I was before. The coffin has been sealed and cremated too many times before. I will never look at the measure of my happiness as a possession or affection. I will instead value the moment and accept the magic of my imperfection. You see, I have noticed how much time we place in to being successful and achieving dreams, but once I, like many others, have reached that plateau, it doesn't seem as thrilling as before. It is not that I do not want to strive to create a more comfortable life, it's just that it's not all that matters anymore. I would like my expectations to be much simpler, like they seemed many years ago. What matter most is my health, not anything less or more. Wellness is a true indication of success and achievement, I couldn't see that clearly before. I am searching for ways to honour this new path, but it's not simple, you know? Old routines are hard to break and what I thought of as valuable doesn't permit for my survival anymore.  It's time to seek an alternative approach to how much time I spend accomplishing the new goals I have in-store.

Daily Deep Dose

When I am at peace, I feel the most content. When I take the time out to walk away from the day and melt the stresses away. The movement of my breath is what I trust the most in the world. When it comes with ease and gently, I recognize how important it is for me to be aware that I have the power to heal myself, no matter the impact or blow. The subtleness of knowing that like a caterpillar, most naturally I will unfold and flourish to be more beautiful then before.

PP Power Jam #32: A Woman's Worth

For all my ladies, whether you are single or coupled - never forget your worth.

I plan on finding my AK one day - le sigh.

Daily Deep Dose

It is key to define the conversations that you need to have with yourself, versus those you need to have with medical professionals. The most important thing to recognize is sometimes conversing with yourself can get loud and lead to no resolve. Don't be afraid to admit your depressed or anxious. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength and maturity.

Daily Deep Dose

3/18/2014

The most valuable assets a human can possess cannot be replaced. They are characteristics of what truly define a person as both unique and an expression of the divine. They are not possessions, nor jobs, nor lovers that have brought happiness at specific times in life. These assets are neither fleeting or faux, when they are grounded with perspective they bring hope. Heart and mind, let these beautiful expressions that can't be seen remain bright.

Daily Deep Dose

Life is a series of ups and downs. How long they last is unknown. The key is holding on to your own will to survive and doing the best you can to believe even in times that are difficult, bright moments do shine through. You are not alone, I am standing with you. I feel and understand you. I promise, together we will make it through.

Daily Deep Dose

There is no need to find your way back. The correct momentum is forward, knowing the only way to take it is one day at a time.

Daily Deep Dose

Take a break each day to do something that strengthens your character and presence. Working out not only gives you a stronger body, but assists in maintaining a calm mind. Balancing physical activity with meditation and/or yoga ensures that you are doing all that you can to stay healthy. Create space for yourself to unwind away from the demands of working life, and various strifes.

Animal Cruelty Petition - Presetned by NDP's Olivia Chow

Kali and Neefah, my girls, on a cold winters day.

I love my girls more than anything. I appreciate the beauty and love animals bring to the world. I know many other Canadians do too. Please take the time to stand-up for justice for those who don't have voices.

Olivia Chow: "Animals are not property, they feel pain. Those abusing them must face conviction & serious penalty. Animal cruelty law must be strengthened.."

 TAKE ACTION NOW: Sign here.

Daily Deep Dose

Stress permeates like a deadly disease. I am still trying to understand how to deal with the complexity of supporting those I love, and often feeling helpless that I can't change their circumstances. I will always be someone who cares deeply, but what happens when caring for others begins to affect my health? I am still trying to accept my limitations and the priority to heal myself.

Daily Deep Dose

Always strive to stimulate the mind. It is through knowledge that we are better able to understand both the world we live in and ourselves. There is no negative cogitation to enriching the way we live our lives, by perusing further education. Whether it be reading, conversing or disseminating experience, the empowerment we need to impact the world is accessible to all, at all times, throughout the course of a lifetime. 

Daily Deep Dose

I have taken the time I need to be honest with myself about myself, my expectations of others and what really matters to me. Now what I can clearly see and articulate is realistic measures of that which is important to me. I am not trying to place pressure on others to give me what I need, rather I am placing responsibility on myself to be happy and create the life I want to lead. I have never felt so proud of me.

Daily Deep Dose

Leading a life of as little resistance as possible, reduces the affects of suffering. Staying confident in oneself invites opportunities to achieve infinite possibilities. Hanging on to the past only gets in the way of what is next. Never regret the way and don't let sadness turn the heart to stone. It may not make sense all the time, but know every wound heals with time.

Fateful Following

Looking into the Future by Lee Claremont

Life works in mysterious ways and there's no way to know what's in-store. The greatest strength you can possess comes from knowing that you deserve the best. The expectations of your past are dead, welcome to here and now. You've arrived. You can see clearly now that the path you were following didn't reflect what lessons you needed to influence you to be a better version of yourself. Leaning on others to give you all the time, you spent all your time placing labels and shallow hope on happiness through comforting terms like "you are mine." Instead life forced you to find the courage to move on alone. To become self-sufficient and build a home of your own. Though you may recall the sadness and pain of it all, because you have come through without scorn and knowing you are better off alone, there is no longer a feasible reason to mourn. Life works in mysterious ways. Sometimes she steers you away from the danger of ill-intentions that silently linger at bay. She asks you to ask yourself what it is that you seek that you can't find in yourself. With enough meditation, practice and heart, sprinkled with some unwavering faith, she guides you closer to yourself. Rest assured knowing that you have finally met the woman in yourself.