Overdue Goodbye

Somewhere along the way, I lost my piece of mind. I sat in my heart and only thought of loving you and making you strong. "I was to blind to see, that your paradise is not for me." Now I weep and sleep all day, try to cling to those I love to reassure me that I am worth something. I am always afraid of being alone, because my thoughts deafen my heart. I know that I am in a tortured pain. It fucking hurts. I try to believe that I am worthy of a love that is as beautiful as the one that I give.

I do not think that you care to think about how much you hurt me. You should have set me free as soon as you knew that you were un-sure of my place in your heart. I do not make your knees weak you say, you do not know that you love me as much as I love you. My beating heart is taken out of my chest and cannibalized. No mercy. "You took my heartbeat from me. This is the saddest story."

I have lost myself and my self-worth within the dreams that I hoped to build with you. You humoured my dreams and aspirations. To you it was a joke, something that seemed quaint. For me it is real. I long for true love more than anything. A love that can stand by me, support me when I am not at my best. Until the end of time. Commitment makes me happy, fulfilled. So many cowards and lost energies wander. I just want someone to hold me.

I came to you for comfort just a few days ago, you said nothing and went to sleep. I was so scared. I lay and weeped beside you. Holding on to you as you slept. Desperate for your love. You slept. No mercy. You knew that you no longer wanted me, but you did not have any respect. All was conditional on your rules and your timing.

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself to you. Now I am left knowing that you will kiss others, have others caress you, drink your sorrows away and never feel the pain that I feel. You broke my heart, disrupted my spirit and jaded my love.

I am everything I can be in love. When you sleep with her, will you sometimes think of me? This is a war I must win, though at times it feels so bloody helpless. I was pathetic for your love. I begged you to stay, I compromised to your guidelines. The only thing that guided me was my heart. Love is blind, but it is the only thing that really matters to me.

You say love is not enough. Maybe not for your lost soul. For me it remains everything. I only pray that the pain will end one day soon. I am not me. If I were me, I would see that you are no good for me. Did you ever really love me? Did you ever really give me your heart? No. You built me up, only to break me down.

Here I lay broken. Are you satisfied?