MARY-JANE, Mistress for Life

Bumpin the trunk, with the windows rolled up....PuFf!

Shooooooot! As the weather heats up, I can't help but smell the scent of wholesome goodness, wherever I go. No, I am not referring to BBQing (though that too smells delicious.) I am talking about my boo for life, Mary-Jane.

As I strolled the streets of the Gaybourhood yesterday, the smell was potent. So many people with small, squinty eyes were smiling at me. This makes me smile right back. There is love in the air!

The world would be a lot better, kinder and calmer if we all just partook in the occasional tokeology. Think about it. People would be far more bonded together through nature! Higher elevation! Sess or hydro, the basic formula leads to GOOD TIMES.

For many years, I have been aware that most of my friends are devoted to the puffin lifestlye. This was never an intentional kinship formation. It just seems to be the way it is. I don't look for pot heads, they sniff me out! Moreover, I have had some of my most revealing, enthusiastic and intelligent conversations with my peeps, when I have been high-flying, adored.

Now, I understand the counter-argument. Pot makes us fry our brain cells and for some, it becomes a silencing mechanism. I am aware that some of my memory capacity has declined from this sweet indulgence, but every action has a counter-reaction. Boozing eats away our livers, the sun fry's our skin, and eating excessively causes obesity. All in moderation, kids.

Sitting at "Roacharma," in Kensington Market, I realized the actual universal appeal and commonality weed bridges among people. Young, old, black, brown, black. Rockers and raggas...everyone smokes weed. If you have the opportunity, I would suggest taking a trip down to the "Roacharma," and blazing one in the back. It is a fun expereince and one of the only public places, in Toronto, ythat you can "legally" get red. Enjoy a tea and the company. PUFF.

So to a summer, I say cheers. Light one up and pass it over. Happy blazing!

Check out info on the Marjuana March:
http://www.cannabisweek.ca

Hip Hop Hoooray Hooo!

This past Thursday, with my fabulous gangstarrs at my side, I attended "Hip Hop Karaoke." This event took place at "The Boat" in Kensington Market. I had been to this venue for a previous party and enjoyed the ambiance and intimacy. Kensington Market is just one of those cool, Bohemian, hidden treasures of Toronto.

I was like a virgin to this experience -- It was my first. However, I was really excited by the hope that I would get to see some talented MC's do their thang! Spit that shit on the MIC!

It was curious to see what this sort of event brings out in terms of a crowd. Interestingly enough, from my not-so-sober observations, the crowd was primarily Caucasian and Asian. This is truly quite revealing of the impact that this at once, underground, African-American style of lyricism has had across cultures, spaces and classes. These kids did not look like hustlers from the block, that is for sheezy! However, approximatly 60% of Hip Hop is consumed by Caucasian, middle to upper-class youth.

Ok, so my review. It was a good time. I mean, I did not see anythign earth shattering, but decent. I give most of these people an "A" for effort. It is not easy to get in front of a room and throw down some rhymes like that. I really did enjoy two of the MC's -- they had a good flow and present energy. However, on the other side of the game, there were a couple performers that just needed to be thrown into the projects.

It was evident that a couple of the "girl groups," were not so...well...fly. Think high school party, too much liquor and "Shoop" coming on. Cha-bam, all of a sudden the three white girls transform into, Salt-shaker, Pepa-corn and Spinderalla-hoe. Playa please!!

YOU WISH!

Though I had fun, two things did come to mind that bothered me about this event:

A) They had no Tupac! WTF?? Must I say anything? Being not only a big fan of hip hip, but also the history of hip hop, how can you not offer one of the most crucial MC's in the history of hip hip? SHAME!! I saw BIGGIE, but no PAC. SHAME!! This just seems sac-religious.

B) Not enough representation of female MC tracks. This was really annoying. In total, there may have been about seven tracks by a female MC. I defiantly think hat the organizers need to assess that there in a uniqueness that some female MC's discuss in their work, that is not represented in the males lyrics. Male hip hop can be very virile. It seemed bizarre that they had no Eve, or barley any Lauryn Hill. I just ask for some respect to the ladies.

Deep down in my heart, I know this was a G-rated showing of MC talent. It was not like being on the block in Brooklyn, or the WEST SIDE of Cali. Seeing real MC's who live and breathe to tell their stories. That would just blow me away.




Though, I would defiantly say this was a night of entertainment. By no means was this as gratifying and exciting as seeing a new talent come out with his/her own lyrics and originality. Karaoke is not free styling, we know this.

Good times though. Good friends usually makes for a good time (0:
Keep the hip hop alive. Word.

Birthday Bash Extravagenza -- BLOP BLOP!

Madre di dios! Enough birthdays already. It seems that the Aries folk have taken over my life for the past week. As the readers of the blog are aware, Derrick's birthday was this week. In addition, it was my GF's on Tuesday and my brothers was yesterday!

So tonight is the night that the final bash takes place.
*Breathing in for dear life*
It seems like Whitney after a crack fit, I have no sense of reality or time these past few days. I wake up and just say happy birthday to the first person I see. Don't judge me...you try and keep anything in me straight!

YOU WISH!



No matter what people say, birthdays are very important days. They represent the day your mama pooped your sorry-ass out her pum pum. Just for her being in labour, we should celebrate your arrival. We honour the female reproductive system and a man's ability to shoot a winner!! HOORAY!

On a more personal level, I do not think that you should celebrate your life, if you did nothing productive or noteworthy for the past year of your existence. I feel in this case, you (aka: the loser) should try to shove yourself back into your mama's vagina for processing. Maybe you are not quite finished turning into a real boi?

To those I have celebrated with, Happy Birthday and love to you all. Keep on surviving and stay real....

OK, back to the bottle.... ONE NIGHT ONLY!

PS. JB Fletcher -- I still have love for your birthday, next week. Fear not!

Welcomed Weather!

YAY!! The sun is out, after what seems like an eternity!! I must say, I feel that the sun has rejuvenated my energy and made me feel alive again. Hip hop hooray ho!

Just walking around the city yesterday, it was easy to identify how this warm weather effects the morale of the general public. People seemed to be smiling more often, the city was booming with people walking around shopping. The patio season is in full gear, booze all up in my grill, no matter which way I turned. My favourite is seeing parent(s) pushing strollers with cute little bebes inside!! I love me some bebes!

So I say...YAY!! Happy Warmness to one and all!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERRICK!!

This is a reminder to one and all!!
Our precious, Derricate, was born on April 18th, 1818. Wish him a Happy and Gay ol' Birthday!!

Much love to you, my brotha from anotha brown motha. May the coming year hold new adventures, exciting challenges and fresh beginnings. Mama P loves you!

WOOT! WOOT!

American Life....American Death

Today, 33 (final numbers are yet confirmed) students at Virginia Tech, were brutally gunned down.

It appears that a gunman killed at least one person and wounded several others at a co-ed residence hall at about 7:15 a.m. local time. Police responded to that incident and began investigating.

After the first incident was reported, the authorites made the decision to allow school activites to continue as normal. A fatal decision. Authorities did not believe that the school was threatned. In fact, it was speculated that the first shooting was a act of domestic violence.

About two hours later, a second shooting erupted at Norris Hall, an engineering building on the opposite end of the 1,050-hectare campus.

When it was all over, there were a total of 31 fatalities, including the gunman.

President Bush responded to this tragedy, by remarking:

"Schools should be places of safety, sanctuary and learning. When that sanctuary is violated, that impact is felt in every American classroom and every American community."

FBI spokesman Richard Kolko in Washington said there was no evidence to suggest it was a terrorist attack, "but all avenues will be explored.''



WAKE UP YOU IDIOTS! The war on terrorism is not in the Middle East. It is on your own doorstop. Any act that claims the lives of innocent individuals, is an act of terrorism. Stop pointing fingers, the blood is on your American hands. Red. Oklahoma City ring a bell?? Columbine?? America, the land of the free and brave?

America, America....FUCK YOU!

You have violated the trust of the world, of the principle of the humanity you claim to defend. You have money for wars, but you can't feed the poor (RIP PAC)? The American Dream is an illusion.

Instead of spending money on aiding falsified war efforts and defacing other nations and religions, why not protect the innocent citizens that live in your country? There are obviously accumulating signs over these past few years that scream that a multitude of middle American youth need guidance. Or at leat an avenue of support where they can go to express themselves, and perhaps avoid a violent demise.

Americans too, are victims of the disgusting and offensive decisions that George W. and his band of morons have made. Coercing a war abroad, does not justify ignoring the state of national emergency in your own country. The ghettos still exist, poverty, homelessness, unemployment and racial in toleration. The true fanatics are ALL those who still believe hatred and destruction is a productive solution.

What have we learned from history? I fear nothing. Nothing. We cheat, we lie, we steal, we destroy, we judge, we mock and we ruin. Presently, we are more destructive then ever before. Weapons that neutralize us into oblivion, planes and tanks that can run over us like rubage.

We don't cultivate our humanity. We live in the mask of comparing ourselves to the barbarism in the past and believe that we have come far. We have not.

We are all responsible for these students deaths and injuries. We have watched America neglect the cries for attention that its residents have been making for years. We are the ones who continually consume American culture in mass. We believe and fixate on Hollywood.

Hollywood is dead. Now so our these kids. Maybe we should all take a moment and reflect on realizing that this is the world we are going to bring our children into. Our generation needs to take a stand, educate ourselves and others. Respect all life. Violence is not a solution to anything. An education can be.

But the problem is cyclical: the poor can't access or afford education, and have to resort to "street" activities, just to get the bills paid and food in their mouths. Violence is not always a choice, sometimes it is a matter of survival. A survival tactic for the forgotten.
For those few who do get the chance to get an education, the safety of school walls is irrelevant. There is now a need to be protected not only from the outside, but also the inside.

WAKE UP, PEOPLE. This is the deadliest school shooting in US history. Are things getting any better?

Now You See Them...Now You Don't

I know that Derrick has previously focused on the misfortune and distortion that body image causes women to feel in everyday life. But here is what I have to add to his angle. We all know that skinny is in -- but why? The average size of a model in today's world is a size 0.

Please process this as a realism. The fashion industry has become one of the most damaging external institutions, to influence our minds. It does not celebrate the uniqueness of each form of the human body with creativity, originality and craftsmanship in clothes. The body is simply seen as a vessel to hang clothes on.
A shame.

So many models do not wear the clothing, the clothing wears them. What ever happened to a stylish woman that looked like a woman? History flashback. This is a majorly alerting situation, we must act now.

Flipping through some fashion books and magazines the other day, I was shocked at the faces that some designers had chosen to represent their products. They looked like kids playing dress-up.



It is about time that designers are held responsible for the part they have in communicating a warped body image to people, especially women. They hire these models...they mold an image that these models are made to embody. If a designers job to make us feel good, sexy and powerful through images of their attire, they seem to fail miserably. They penetrate the messege that fashion is for the few, skinny and "beautiful." All that us regular folk can access, with hopes of fashion salvation, is our personal style. Style is more important than being trendy, trust me.

What designers present on the runways and through print, is obviously not accessible and un-affordable to most of us. A blatant fantasy. But all are aware, that we are looking not only at their clothes, but their models. Iconography and celebrity worship is a common practice -- the beautiful are looked up to, not necessarily the smart.

Having seen a few live fashion shows in my time, I couldn't help but always walk away feeling angry. What about healthy body image? Eating disorders are so rampant, but yet we are unable to point our fingers directly at the culprits and say STOP.

I love fashion, it is a passion of mine. But I am not a skinny bitch and never will be. I recall what it feels like just walking into any store, seeing an item I liked looking for my size. The devastation it caused me each time I had to walk away. The embarrassment.

When is enough, enough?

Do We Need to Get "Retarded?"

Hop little bunny, hop hop hop!
Maybe I am just vexed because I got no chocolates this Easter, but it got me thinking. We, as a specie are jacked-up mo fo's. The sublimation of symbolism, on the holidays we celebrate in North America [mostly related to the Christian calender...WORLD DOMINATION!], are clear examples of the most twisted fantasies, we have illusioned ourselves into following.

Par example, Jesus walks and we somehow have the result of being delivered chocolate eggs, by an obese bunny? Does anyone else ring confusion? As a child, I am not really sure if the Easter Bunny captured my imagination. Actually, I thought it quite frighting...I saw red eyes and tilted ears. But being the fat, greedy child I was, I knew that THAT FOOL was gonna bring me sweeeeeeeets!! Blop Blop!! I, being raised Hindu, was really thinking about Jesus -- YOU WISH!!
FYI: I prefer milk chocolate!

What was the message again? Jesus raised himself from the dead and I got me some chocolate!

Flash forward to Christmas. Again, Jesu was born in the humble bosom of his mama, then tucked away in a manger...only to be brutally betrayed and then murdered on a cross! We get presents!! Message: Jesus was born and needed to get popped, so that we can mask the terror of what happened to him in thanks and indulge in materialism! Anyone want some egg nog??

I understand that Christmas is great for the reason that, you get to gather with the famiglia and drink red wine to drain out their stories about "back in the days." But somehow, I can't help but think we miss the point. General knowledge would have it that this symbolic icon did not go out without some gruesome torturing. Should we be happy knowing that little baby is going to grow up and get beats? Maybe instead of a Happy Holidays, all families should inflict flagellation on one-another. The body of Christ is now yours! BYOW (bring your own whip). REPENT! SAY SORRY!!

This does not even take into consideration all the alienation Christian Holidays administers on people that fall out of the Christian belief system. My family always celebrates Christmas, but as a time of togetherness. We appreciate and respect others beliefs, but do they respect ours? Where are your Diwali candles? No, Diwali is not a special, scented candle.

Thanks to globalization and colonization, Christian belief and doctrine is only worthy of a holiday celebration . Do you ever believe we will live in a world where minority religions are given the same respect as Christiandom? I think not. The views of the stupid majority, diminishes the views of the intelligent minority.

That's my beef (Hindu joke!).

Trynna Find My Way....I Stumbled Upon YOU

Those close to me are aware that I have been feeling a little low for the past week or so. It is not very often that I am thrown into depression, as I tend to discipline my sadness with an emotional-snap-the-fuck-out-of-your-sadness bootcamp, approach!

Exit logic, exit self-control. Something grips me and gets me twisted in my own heart and mind. I shed tears from my soul, and sing along to a multitude of sad love songs. How can I stop this pain? I mourn, I lean, I suffer. What the fuck is wrong with me?? I had not felt this lost in years, confusion and insecurity seemed to be my dreary, constant companion.

Wake up. I begin to deal.

So after some time in processing, the instrumental support of friends (you know who you are...LOVE) and the patience of my companion, this is what came into light.

ThunderpussGeisha feels lost!!

I recently ended my contract employment at the University of Toronto, and this has left me scrambling looking for new employment. This makes me question my future, finances and prevokes my fear that I may not be able to be employed, in a field that I engage passion for. As much as we all hate to admit it, nowadays, money is a big factor in survival and for happiness. Bills will always need to be paid and leisure is a escapism from the hectics of everyday routine, in addition to a key socialization tool. I don't want to work in something that allows me to just make money, I wanna feel for what I do. I do not want to be a drone, controlled by the higher mind. I want to be respected as an individual.

But I think that the consequence that most set off a reaction in me was, my recent entering into a relationship after five years of being single. Scary stuff, kids. There are monsters in all our closets, whether visable or not.

I realized that as soon as I got comfortable with my new lover, I started to fall back into some of my not so admiral, relationship habits. IE/ Being grumpy and controlling at times when I need to just chill. After a weekend of being an insensitive jerk to my lady, I came to realize how I had been acting, I felt broken. Like scum. I honestly did not recognize my behaviour at the time I was acting like this, that scared me even more. See the thing is, I am the sort of individual that likes to hurt those around me, especially not the individual that I am attempting to build something substantial with; a future. Neither do I desire pain inflected upon me by a jaded lover.

Presently, I have come to a road that demands me to remember that which had been somewhat evasive in my life. No, not love. But the commitment to be with one individual and support eachother on high days and low days. With laughs, triumphs, tears and fears.

Side note: Emotional-snap-the-fuck-out-of-your-sadness bootcamp is hard to sustain, when you have disappointed others, and in turn and ultimately, yourSELF. Tainted love.

I questioned, I worried, I feared. I wrestled with my disappointment in myself and my fear of what she could challenge in me. This is what was causing me to act in a frenzy; At times, we were not treating each other with the love and respect that I know immaculatly took breath through our connection. Our opposites did attract, but now it was time to make it something that could last. We all love hard, but do we try hard? Honestly, it is hard for humans to be kind.

I realized this: In my time as a single, I disciplined myself to be the best individual I could be -- and grew immensely. This new relationship had forced my insecurities and bad habits to come out within a relationship framework -- something that had been suppressed in me for quite a few years. Though I know I have evolved in my understanding of love, it is one thing to have knowledge and another to practice what you are aware of. Emotional discipline is necessary in a relationship, if you want to survive. I want to survive with her.



I wake up and I am willingly forced to see how I have made her feel. I do not want to hurt anyone. My intentions are good.

My lady, you have helped me to look at/into myself in a way that allows and encourages me. Encourages me to grow not only individually, but as your lover and partner -- as a whole. YOU are the reason that I have a renewed smile on my face. YOU are the reason that I feel a love that moves me, body and soul. YOU are the one I want to make it with. I am ready to GROW WITH YOU.

YOU push me....

Trade Showed Out!

Oh my my my! Not like Johnny Gill...no no. I speak of exhaustion, breathing with a whimper. This past weekend I had a flashback to my BOOM! Marketing days...or as I like to refer to it, "The Dark Ages."

Saturday, I attended "Lifefest" with GF and G-BF (G-best friend) in tow. People, it was absolute madness. I had never seen such serpentine women, slithering around for free product--all up in my grill! If one more fat, ugly woman hit me with her purse, I was ready to open a can of whoop ass!

We stood like ready pilgrimagers, ready to devote a journey to the top of Mount Pious. Instead, we made our way up the "mountain" for free product! The irony kids, I was a promo whore for a few years. Being an ex-employee of a marketing company, I had been exposed to every event and trade show in the GTA. Sad, but true. I was like a carnie, with product. Doo dooo dooo!
In fact, I was re-united with many of my old colleagues, and they were still as stressed and skinny as I had left them. Oh the days of BOOM!-- underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked.

But the highlight of the event, beside the yummy fruit juices, was when my GF and G-BF going on a shop-lifting spree!! All while I schmoozed with the BOOM!-slaves. DAMN LADIES! I was so impressed! They came back stage in the product area with me and when I approached them after some chit-chat, they had bags full of product. Bitches be crazeeee!! No one can say that I am Miss Sticky Fingers anymore. They were the culprits! Karmacake had enough cleaning product to clean Buckingham Palace and Melissa, being the modest creature she is, enough to clean for four hole months! Good job, my girls! Don't worry, I got me some of theirs!

Fast forward to Monday, ABA (Allied Beauty Association) Show. Hair people, HAIR! With my fierce friend and loving hairdresser, KJC at my side, I entered the Metro Toronto Convention Centre again! *flashbacks*

GUrrrl, all this fierce hair up in my face! It was very exciting. There were demo stages from brands such as Aveda, KMS, L'Oreal, Schwarz, Redken and Rusk. This was my first hair show, so all the cutting, styling and colour demos were absolute eye candy to me. Some of the models had some innovative and amazing hair. KJC and I hunted through the isles like lionesses in heat-- bargins bargins!! We walked away with some real cheap product and KJC, a new pair of cutting scissors!



All that know me, know I have a major fetish for hair. Hair is like on of the 6 careers I would really want to do. Though KJC was there as a legitimate hair dresser, I just soaked it all up. But then 2pm hit....exhaustion hit. Walking the circuit over two days, for two different shows and a bad nights sleep....it all came falling down. So off we went for a meal and a bevie.

Special note: KJC, that sangria was the most offensive thing I have ever put in my mouth. EVER!

It was a fun day, despite my exhaustion. I would have like to see some more interaction with curly hair (I only saw it at Aveda) and black hair. Us ethnic folk got hair too!!

Now it is time for me to crawl back into hibernation until next year. Into the darkness I go....memories.

There Can be Miracles...When you Have Magical Weave!!

Sock it to me, sock it to me!!

Oh Miss Aretha Franklin. What can I say?? The woman is literally larger than life. Her tata's are bigger than any other free slopping structure! Trust. When the woman opens her mouth, you can't help but feel a little piece of history coming right at you....OOOOO Child!

I will not be extensively reviewing the show. I will say this though: I felt, like many who have reviewed the show, that Miss. Franklin showed her greatest passion when she was performing pieces off her new album, rather then her old goodies. Maybe she is sick of the chain of fools and she don't feel like a natural woman! Blasted...

But now let me focus on my task at hand. To you, I present a theory. I wish you to take it into consideration.

All fierce divas that have the power of weave, have their hair come from one magical source. The magical weave unicorn! Many have sought it, many have put nasty horse hair up in their heads with the hopes it will divafy them. But only the ladies of real sass, soul and voice have the power of magical unicorn weave!

Let me know your thoughts....R-E-S-P-E-C-T!