Alicia Keys on XFactor

Seriously, can a woman be more sexy? This has given me happy inspiration for my day - set it on fire y'all!

Daily Deep Dose

Don't compromise your expectations or dull your worth by seeking external affirmation. Remember that change is necessary to evolve into a more aware and loving person. Everything you need resides within you. Be inspiring. Be inspired.

Daily Deep Dose

Life has a mysterious way of awakening. Never judge the path, only remain aligned with your purpose. The more you know yourself and elude negativity, the more you can change the world and become a better you. Who you were yesterday is past, who you are today is present.

NEW SERIES: Daily Deep Dose

Hi friends. As many of you know, I am active on many social media sites including Twitter & Instagram: @PROVOKEMEinc. I am proud to present a new series on my blog, Daily Deep Dose (DDD). These segments will feature my own thoughts and heartfelt notions. I am growing and I invite you to grow with me! I hope these affirmations of spirit will inspire you to be better, kinder and more aware. This are my learnings and I can only hope to be open and honest with you, my fellow oyager, about my journey.

Here are a few DDD's from past days to start us off:

Know instinctively the reason behind your feelings and thoughts. Manifest destiny.

Realizations are abundant and opportunities are rich. Find your way through listening to your heart, while quieting the ego of your mind. All is how is should be.

Never ignore your intuition - for it is a divine instrument that is given to us for protection. When you listen to the voice within you, no matter what it may be telling you (good or bad, tough or tender) you will lead a more enlightened existence. Trust yourself. 

I would rather leave young and restless to the past and embrace now - mature and ready.

I can feel the quiet universe inside of me. She tells me to remember that what many call divine lays deep within me.  

Full of virtuous cravings I desire so much fulfillment. I feel love. I know how she tastes. 

Take chances and you will learn and grow. You're capable of overcoming any challenge if you face it knowing you will become more. 

Rinascimento

"My Birth" Frida Kahlo, 1932

The twists and turns of the untold had led her down this road in solitude. Though the path was not charted, something in her had changed. She was never to be as she was before, the same. All the emotions that she thought were her divine, she had now come to realize could limit her to living in the ego of her mind. Silence had become so much more powerful than the pain, love brighter than mourning or shame. Superficial worth had revealed itself to be limiting -all the material things could never equal the growth that she still needed to become more aware of the universe within. All the pretty clothing and accessories could easily be stripped away and she now understood it was the sentiment of memories and current possibilities that made it worth all the gain. How could someone truly care for her if she did not care for herself with the precise light she shown externally bright. She knew the feeling that had never let her down: love. She saw it in the tenderness of a mother holding her child's hand, in moments of laughter between friends. She knew her wings would not fail her if she would just become braver in seeing that everything was as it should be and now was her time to love herself. No person, no possession, no thought was hers to have. In fact the more she accepted that all she could do is continue to be herself, she realized that the power to succeed and create was in her own chest, no longer needing the affirmation of a lover to peacefully rest. To all the disappointment she whispered 'now it is is time to go.' She tried each day to discipline herself to see life as a present state of mind. Another day, a new day presenting her the opportunity to see herself moving through it all. Her heart urged her not to lose dignity, to believe in brighter days and new ways. She thought she was all grown-up and that what she knew was truthful, but only through moments of quiet meditation she came to realize she was not right. She had so much more to know, the seed inside herself was planted to continuously grow. 

PP Power Jam #5: Someday

Currently doing the runnin' man and singing this - this my jammmmmmm!!! Old Mariah is so good! 

Authenticity

Knowledge is not exhilarated by intellect, rather by spirit. The pursuit of knowledge should not be defined by its tangibility, but rather its awakening of inner trueness. Be authentic.

Art Art Revolution

An artist has an most interesting ability, to share himself/herself as to provoke others in thought and emotion. Like an talented seamstress weaving a tale, it is for the audience to decipher whether an artist is shining a truth that is personal or universal - but for me both are the same. People often wonder and ask me why am I so open about me? All I can say is that is who I was born to be. You see, for me my writing is my catharses, that gives me the ability to hopefully relate to those in the same scenarios as me, those who harbour the same spirit and thoughts that I carry inside of me. I am not about closing my experiences off, I am about working with them out to guide me stronger towards the most current, hopefully stronger and wiser carnation of me.

If there is any encouragement I could give, it would be that people seek art. Art has since the beginning of time, been a tool to communicate humanity in all its triumphs, beliefs, fails and ponderings. I make a valid effort to see performing arts of all kinds, to read books, go to art shows and museums and even see films. More often than not, when I am exposed to art I feel so blessed and empowered to be alive. Not one genre of art is more powerful than another. A portrait of Frida is no less powerful than the words of Rumi, Susie Burpee is no less powerful than a Fleetwood Mac song, Michelangelo is no less a genius than Picasso. We are so lucky to live in a country of free expression, where the voice of one is valued equally to the voice of many.

We all invest in buying new clothes, gas for our cars, rents/mortgages and so much more. I urge you to make it a part of your routine to support artists, as they are some of the bravest people you will meet. I am sure in your wallet you can spare some cash to feed your soul, for you will never know what you do not seek. In fact, art is all around us for free, if we just make the time to see, hear, read and listen. Expose yourself to art because it is a preservation of our humanity. It is what makes us human.

If you have a talent, don't be afraid to use it. Whether it is private or public that you feel you wish to show your gift, this is up to you. If you decide to go public, know that those will accuse you of sharing too much, sharing too little, being too graphic, not being descriptive enough - but just do what makes you feel good and right. This is not about anyone else, this is your legacy to leave behind. Never sensor yourself because your art is a channeling of the divine.

Exclusive Listen of Alicia Keys New Album: Girl on Fire

Alicia Keys and her music are such a blessing my life. I am so grateful for her new album - sounds beautiful. "Brand New Me" couldn't express my heart anymore.

Girl on Fire - AK! Hotter than a fantasy, indeed. Now that is a woman.

Have a listen of her new album before it hits stores on November 27th, 2012 here.

PP Power Jam #4: Feel

I think that this song really represents what I FEEL in my heart. 

The Woman I Use to Be

So many nights I waited for you to reach for me - and you never did. So many mornings I longed for you to send me flowers with a note to say you were sorry, the flowers never came and you never said you were sorry. I can't hate you because it is unlike me to hate at all. I guess I should thank you for all that you have put me through, because of you I found a braver me, a quieter me - and what remains is only a shadow of the woman I use to be. I would have never imagined that we would have come to pass, or that I would be writing of a heartache that you left that perhaps if not tended to, could forever last. I have just put my feet back on solid ground, I absorb knowledge with much more attention. I lead my life with much more awareness and forward direction. I am not dependent on anyone to love me, I simply love myself like I need to be loved. If you could only see me now, I am not foolish lover that once followed you around and hushed her needs, so not to put you down. With each moment that passes by I realize how far I have come, that I am growing much more than I thought I would have the strength to grow. Though at first I could not bring even a smile to my face, I can now bare to face another day. I will not let you diminish me and cause my blessings to be erased.

So many nights I waited for you to come home, you never did. So many mornings I woke up with an anchor piercing my heart, you never came to lift it from my heavy chest. What can I do now but lay this love to rest. I never thought you would be the one to break me down, but now that it has happened I follow the truth to accept that safe with you in no longer where I want to be. I will never let anyone treat me the way you did again, for now I am aware I need to let you die in me. You always showed your true colours, your inglorious vitrues outloud. I was far from perfect but I really did try my honest best in most moments to love you down. I was stupid to think that such a unaware, self-doubting girl would be able to hold the tune of love outloud.

PP Power Jam #3: Breakaway

K Clark is my favourite Idol. Love the voice on this lady. This is also one of my empowerment and moving forward songs. 

Mari Ma

She was born into this world on a rainy July morning - unaware of the twists and turns that lay ahead on her unsuspecting path. Her mother caressed her face as she cried joy, knowing that this child she bore was the purest manifestation of her very own insides. As she grew, the child learned everything she could about being human from her Mother: how to give, how to be kind, how to love and most importantly to how to rise every time someone objected to her expanding her mind. 

Seasons came and went, then came and went again and the child became a girl. Each time she looked in the mirror she recognized the face of her good Mother with smiling glee, the face of her very own Devi. Her Mother assured her that as long as she remained open in heart and mind, she could achieve any of her dreams, whether it being a singer, a teacher or simply a person who helps others less fortunate than her. By the time she was a teenager she had learned from her Mother, what true freedom was- the ability to release herself from war, spiritual persecution and broken dreams that had not appeared to be as triumphant as she had once imagined, and believe brighter days were ahead. 

At 18 she feel in love for the first time with another woman. She had never imagined that she would not be accepted by her Mother when she told her of her queer nature, and she was not disappointed. Her Mother held her with assurance that everything would be just fine if her love was pure and full in her belly. She felt divine. When her heart was broken for the first time, her Mother ran her hands through her hair of Indian silk and let her weep on her lap like a broken child. She brought her toast and sat while she cried with such sorrow. She assured her the sun again would rise. 

As the years past she saw the spirits of her ancestors pass through the body of her Mother,  reminding her again of the power she was born from - and though at times she felt lost, used and abused, she was reminded by her Mother that she was worth lightning and thunder. That trouble and pain was not invited to destroy her ability to be one with nature, to honour herself and the ones that carried her without hesitation towards the diyas light. It was her destiny to find her own faithful place, not to become erased.

When again the girl, who was now a young woman fell, her Mother reminded her that she was a child of the moon, that the universe was her guide and at the moment she was born time had stood still to marvel in her unique beauty. She must not hide. 

When she was 31 her heart was once again sunken, like a ship lost at sea. This time the child who had once become a young woman, fully blossomed into her Mother's true mature reflection. The strength that her Mother gave her was now to be fully realized. She did not know how, but she knew her heart would tuck away all her Mothers secrets on how to survive and remain good until the day she died.

The Silent Within

Everytime I feel the war is over it begins again. The unhealthy thoughts wrestling my heart to the ground, little palpitation allowing it to pump out the negative past. My inner most thoughts tell me that my love is all I have to give. That without love I would be an empty shell with no soulful purpose. I feel a healthy paranoia of not knowing if the ones I love ever loved me with anything more than temporary fascination. That the ones I gave my heart too with nothing but a hope somehow led me towards misunderstanding beauty in all it's forms. A time for resignation creeps near. That common belief in healing tells from sadness comes strength. That the universe remains kind and guides me closer to my own destiny. I wanna spend my love. Hopefully the bends in the road will one day return my story to promise with a woman who will stand by me, as I will her. I beg for patience and healing through deep breath. 

On a voyage I returned home to find only my own comfort in my lonely bed. Will I ever feel whole again?

Happy Diwali Friends!

Saal Mubarik to all my brothers and sisters that are celebrating. May there be only love, kindness, growth and happiness in your days to come. May peace be with you.

Ever wonder what Diwali is? Watch this cute little video and find out!

PP Power Jam #2: Girl of Fire

Beautiful AK, what can I say? Sometimes the universe just knows what you need to hear, and AK always has a way of connecting with the core of me. Thank you.

Head to Toe

I see the aura around you and I am drawn into you like a moth to a flame. I like the way you smile, your lips are full and I can see myself kissing them softly, teasing you with my teeth to make you wet. I find myself looking at you with such delight, you speak fluidly and your thoughts are naturally intelligent. I study your body from afar but my thoughts are of your naked skin against mine. I fix my glasses. I wanna have your junk on lock down. I think of your thighs in my hands, the music magnetizing our hips into eachother, our attraction torturing us while we brush up against eachother. The way I feel is sexual. I feel nothing around me but you - I am drawn to your playful, cat-like nature. You're funny and I like it. My tongue gets anxious in my mouth. Danger. If I get my mind into you, it may be all night. You are all woman and I like it. I lick my lips and feel hungry. You give me a mellow fever and make me full of horny fantasies. I have so many thoughts running through my queer little mind like drag race cars. The only direction they lead me is between your thighs. I want you to express yourself to me. I want you on your knees begging for my love face down. I will show you how. I cross my legs and remember I am in public. I wanna discover all of you, I imagine you taste just like honey from your head to your toe. You are gonna make me feel so good. Come and let  me out of my cage.

Secret Museum

Your life is a museum of your own accomplishments, beauties, triumphs, glories and falls and restorations. Richly praise your history and move forward as to artifact your truth always. 

Distant Love

Each day passes and I think about you and I can't help but feel broken hearted, like a blue breasted red bird, laying on the side of the highway gasping with hope to know what it feels like to fly one more time. Though the moments that together we made beautiful have past, I am still haunted by you. I can smell you. I remember dreams I thought we would built together, that instead turned my heart in to a lake of bleeding sorrow when you said goodbye. I feel as though I have to remind myself that in my grief you are no longer mine to hold, that I could not be the one for you, or we would have remained two hearts that beat as one.

They say that love is not captive to hold, instead for it to flourish it must remain free to unravel in all its still beauty. Here I am trying to piece myself back together from each deep breath I take, each time I meditate. When quiet moments pass a thousand shattered pieces of the life I thought was mine to lead come rushing back, and I wonder if I will ever be myself again. You are my familiar past and without you I feel nearly incapacitated by the trauma you inflicted on me; I am so confused, yet I can't hate you. I try and respect what we did have and wonder if you ever think of me - if you ever miss the touch of my large brown breasts on your beautiful lips, sucking my nipples softly as to make me hopeless with surrender - if when you kiss her you ever think of me. If you ever cry missing the daughters you claimed belonged to you and me.

If you could only see me now, I am changing, I am not the foolish woman you once knew. I would have tried to be better for you. I am growing into my womanhood without you. 

PP Power Jam #1 - Everybody Everybody

My fave 90's dance tune! I imagine performing this often. TUNE UP!! Enjoy. Black Box is still on regular through my headphones.