It's funny how some things just don't change. Time can pass, tempers can flare, moments can come and then go. The fact of life remains that memories that carry forward are saturated in fondness. When care becomes an emblem of remembering the past and valuing how it carries worth in future and present - it is realized that blessings come in array of transformations.

People come, people go, never stop valuing the time spent, even if it was long ago.

Happy Diwali!

To all my yoga lovers, Hindu homies and brown appreciators....light it up!

New Jack Playback: Monica "Before you Walk Out My Life"

Love me some old school Monica.

Portrait of Parul Pandya by Caitlin McGrath

My wife painted this beautiful portrait of me; I am quite speachless! Blue and red are my favourite colours, and red wine is my favourite water!!!

Cait is a very talented artist, so please check out her work here.

RIP, Gentle Jack Layton

What does it mean to be a facilitator of change? Does it require that you change the lives of many through your good deeds, or just one, or some? Should it mean that the impact you make should be immediately measurable in value, or does it mean that you plant a seed to watch progression happen slowly, like a baby horse taking a first step, who will one day run as free as a freeze. Change is an acknowledgment that growth is a human endeavour, and that with an effort of unity, many can be impacted through the positivity of this evolution.

Today a good man lost a battle to cancer, charismatic, kind and sensible NDP leader Jack Layton – a man that has made an unforgettable impact to Canadian contemporary politics, a man who made us acknowledge just how much we really can help eachother change for the better. I send my condolences to his family and friends, and I thank him for making us believe that some politicians still do harbour a conscience to serve the needs of the people. Missed and never forgotten, with a smile that seemed to strike the match of hope in many of those in younger generations. Though the battle with cancer came to a grim end, the contribution Mr. Layton has made to Canada is forever light. Thank you - the last election showed just how much Canadians were beginning to envision the values he installed into our world through his years of contribution.

Toronto Public Libraries Under Threat - Rob Ford is a DOUCHE

I urge you all to sign this petition immediately.Toronto's Public Libraries are under threat and we, the people, need to take action!

Doug Ford, the brother of Mayor Rob Ford said on July 14, 2011 - "I have more libraires in my area than I have Tim Hortons." Lets's keep it that way or we will be fat, lazy fucks like the Ford brothers.

This was my note on the petition:

Dear Mr. Ford,

It saddens me that you are demoting the importance of public space as a community outlet of learning, gathering and education. Libraries pay a critical role in communicating diversity, teaching history and providing imagination for adults and youth alike.

I think that your priorities are jaded. For example, for those youth who cannot afford to go out and spend money, a library is a PUBLIC place of escape and perhaps a sanctuary away from the problems of everyday.

I urge you to rethink the value of words. I am a writer and this is not only personally offensive to me, but it is an insult to society and Toronto culture. We, the people appreciate learning and value to pass this down for generations to come. It should not be in the hands of corporations or be threatened by privatization.

Best,

Parul Pandya

Rob Ford replied:

Thank you very much for your email regarding libraries in the City of Toronto. I appreciate your thoughts and value the input from our residents.

Yours truly,

Mayor Rob Ford
City of Toronto

Friendship

Friendship is a chance, and at times a risk. When we open ourselves up to knowing someone, one of the hardest challenges regardless of age, is having that someone leave. The end of a relationship of this kind could be for multiple reasons, whether you grow apart, or someone gets disappointed, one thing remains: people will come and people will go.

Over the years I have seen a few friendships naturally grow apart - those who were once close to me are no longer part of my everyday life. Of course I remain civil if we are in a mutual public space, and I would never wish ill to those I have known, even if they have disappointed me.

Now 30, I realize that I have gained coping skills I once lacked, I have better learned to accept that while someone may enter my life, there is no contract that binds them to remain at the status of friend until the end of time. I'd like to think that those I have grown apart from will still look at me with some find memories. Whether they perceive me as a "has-been" or chose to think of me from time-to-time, is really a choice.

This I know of myself though: I never forgot those who have touched me, no matter how misrepresented I may seem in their eyes, or how little they may regard me in the present.

I think friendship is a testament to adaptation over the course of a lifetime, and even thought we meet great people through the years, only a very small  few of these individuals will remain true companions through it all.

Seeking Strength

I have always been aware that love is equal to pain, one is not necessarily greater than the other. That is not to say that I don't believe that love has brought me much more comfort then pain. While neither love or pain is a stranger in my life, I am shyly realizing that I am unable to withdraw myself without much anxiety, at the possibility to not protect and keep safe the ones I love.

Protecting and caring for those I love the most is a most crucial and worthwhile of importance to me in my life. I could say that mothering is a very natural instinct to my Cancer nature, and the inability to guarantee sustaining safety for my children frightens me. I can imagine this is a natural occurrence of emotion in many parents.

The last weeks have been tough for me. For those who have previously read my blog, my one-year old cat Kali has been exhibiting shaking back legs that are weak. She has always shown some shaking in her legs. I have been to two different vets seeking hope to find out what is wrong (the first experience which was one of my most traumatic life experiences, and I wrote about on the blog on June 2nd). No one has been able to give me an answer, so now I have a appointment with a neurologist to examine Kali. I am trying to remain hopeful.

What can I say - I have been a straight out mess. Crying, afraid and not very much like a woman who believes that strength is a way to influence the present situation. For the first time in my life I am afraid to loose something that mean so much to me, and I am not sure how to be strong. Regular pep talks from my partner, my sister and my Mom keep me rebounding, but I still fear loss.

So I guess I ask this - why am I so afraid and how do I make myself stronger in this situation? A conversation I keep feeling in waves mentally and physically, over and over.

I guess for once I wish that I had a way to be offered a wisdom that would help me to grow in this situation. I guess I never thought that I could love another creature so much. For all the innate wisdom that I know I have, I suppose I also have so much to learn.