Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rihanna : "Disturbia"

Hot, hot, hot! Her is the latest my Miss Rihanna. Under the direction of David LaChapelle, this video shows the influence of such videos as Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People," Christina Aguliera's "Fighter," and Madonna's "Frozen." I will admit that I enjoy Rihanna more than many of the generic, younger female black artists coming out in the past two years. I still think there is room for her to develop her sound to better represent her island identity, but she is just beginning and I hope she enjoys success for time to come. That is, as long as she does not make a track as BAD as "4 Minutes!" Sorry Madge.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Figlio Perduto


We all live only to die.
But life is too short to waste a day crumbling with worries about feeling like death.
Today I heard the news of a young boy who has lost his mother. She is gone.
The idea of thinking what that boy is going through makes me feel sick in the core of my stomach, I feel lighter in my head and I feel the shadows of darkness fill the water in my eyes.
How can life be so cruel to those who actually try to be good people, kind people, people who give love as much as they receive it.
On some days like today it all just seems like a sick joke to me. Like we have all been placed here to see how human we can really remain amongst all the withdrawing hands, careless secrets that are passed on through a chain of burning ears, all the people that will choose themselves before you time and again. Sometimes it can be such a lonely road.

I can't help but wonder if this is really the way that things are meant to be. I wish I could hold that boy close and tell him that everything will be alright, but I know right now that is untrue. I can't comfort the loss of the idea of a memory that may fade in time, a touch that you may forget to feel, the voice that you sill struggle to hear the sound of tuck you in at night.

A child's pain is incomparable to our own because they already have to see so much pain and suffering from such a young age. A mother's touch is like a security blanket that hides away all the monsters and keeps the shadows at bay in the lure of the blackness of night. I think of how destroyed I would be if I could not have my mother beside me and I am not a child anymore.

We all live only to die.
I pray that there is some salvation of all the pain, all the struggle that is taken to elevate your mind at this endless game. Today my thoughts are with this boy, every second, every breath. I know that it is the time to mourn and cry, but I suspect that his mother will remain the apple of his eye.

Brother Brother

I can't seem to forgive you, for no matter how I try I see that you care for no one other than yourself. You are cold and calculated, you hold the lock but you watch to see others fumble with the key. Have you ever stepped outside your selfish ways to see that there are many more things to life other than your immediate fulfillment and concentration on winning over things that will surely pass.

Your a empty little man. You manipulate, you cheat and you lie. You have no empathy and you care for yourself as if you were someone who mattered more than anyone else. You are not. If you hear the things that people really think about you maybe you would see how little it has done to win people over as your friends. You can not keep a friend if you do not what it is to be one. Grow up, you are lame for acting like half your age. Communicate using words, not yelling at people like they are under your control and are to cater to the bar that you ask them to jump.

I listen to you yell and my ears bleed all the years of frustration and abuse I have taken from you. I know that blood runs thicker than water but it was not my choice for us to be so indifferent. I can not imagine that I would be as slimy and judgemental with my friends as you are. I think that if I was, I would at least learn with time.

I know from the measure of how I am with my sister that you have done nothing to encourage me, believe in me, help me or be there for me over the years. I use to sit quietly and watch you abuse me through your words and your insensitive actions. You teased me for being the way that I am. I am different then you and for this I am glad.

One day you will see, what a separation of mountains stand enforced, permanently between you and me. I would have hoped that you would have learned from the way that we saw our parents argue, the way that you saw the struggle of mom with dad. The bruises of skin and emotions led me to think you would re-consider your jaded devotions.

I was wrong.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

FUNNY Alicia Keys vs. Rabbit MTV Commercial Spots

These are a couple of my favourites of my boo....I laughed my ass off! Well...not quite? It's still there (0;







Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Goodbye Golden Girl: Estelle Getty Dies at 84


This news is simply devastating, in the words of Blanche Deveroux. Dear, sweet and beyond cute, Estelle Getty passed away this morning at the age of 84, her son confirmed with a statement. Her family and friends were at her side in her home in Los Angeles home and 3 days short of her 85th birthday.

The time could not have been more odd for me. The Golden Girls have always been and remain one of my favourite shows of all time. Last week a friend of mine gave me season one on DVD and I watched 15 episodes in 3 days. So good people. The joy that Estelle's character, Sofia Petrillo has given me with her blunt tongue and through prancing around with her little straw purse and judging people is beyond imaginable. You can't forget her "picture it, Sicily..." stories. Though she was little, she packed a most hilarious punch and a mean left hand! Her comedic time was genius, her punch lines are unforgettable. I, in fact remember watching The Golden Girls with my Ba (grandma) and her telling me that "the old woman" was her favourite. My Ba had an appreciation for the funny when she saw it.

Getty had been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia but she has been suffering from poor health over the recent years. In 1988 Getty won an Emmy for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series for her work in Golden Girls.

Goodbye my golden friend, you will be missed and remembered.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Milky Rain

"Ya baby, keep your ass right there. You look so fucking sexy when you are loose like this. On your knees, dipped down low. Your stomach pacing in and out. Fuck I want you so bad. I just wanna..."

I saw her looking at me, peering so weakly at my control, the top of her head rested on the Egyptian cotton sheets as if she were trying to do a headstand. I watched the muscles of her stomach tighten and loosen and imagined what it would be like...what it would sound like when she released her sweetness on my face.

"I want you to cum. But not yet. Do you understand. First I wanna fuck your ass. Are you okay with that?"

Her legs shook wildly and she looked like she was in between ecstasy and trauma. She nodded obediently. Her elbows rested on the bed. Her hands gripped the sheets as if she were holding on for the ride of her life. I licked my fingers and traced around the edge of her ass crack. I could feel her tense. Her ass tightened its hold on me.

"Relax," I said. "I am not gonna hurt you. I just need to hear you squirm the sound that can only be released when you let me enter the forbidden passage to reach deep inside your secret, sacred zone. I want you to feel as though you want to scream and cry. Fuck baby, you don't know how much I want to fuck you in your tight ass."

I pushed her ass forward and she fell messily on to the bed, stomach first and slammed her head in the pillow. "No, no, up you go," I said. She obeyed.

She seemed more intent this time. She aroused up and this time with a grunt she said, "fuck me now from behind NOW" I was so damn agreeable. I licked my finger and tingled it like a Christmas bell and the edge of her asshole. She sounded pleased, I like that. I slowly slid it into her, slow and first, but gained stride like a marathon runner on her last leg.

She began to rock with me, slow and faster and faster. I grunted and I lost control. "Fuck ya," I said. Profanities slipped from my mouth like a dirty trucker who spits too much. I took my hand and wrapped it around her thigh, holding her so tight, I closed my eyes and felt her ass slap against the skin of my stomach. I lifted her up higher, as I slid the second finger in. She may have thought that I was trying to please her, but this was not the only desire I felt. I could feel the drip of my pussy start running down my leg and I wanted her ass to kiss my creamy extract.

"I am so wet baby. I want to take you there. I wanna feel your ass smash against my pussy. I want my juice to drip down your ass into your crack and I want to taste it," I murmured in dire need.

At this point I could have ripped her apart and it wouldn't have mattered. She was mine and I was hers. I thrashed my brown skin against her beautiful copper tone. She screamed my name and said "ooh baby, more, more! I want you to live inside of me."

When I felt the mixture of our juices combine on her ass, I knew it was time to blow her mind. I stopped fucking her and pulled my fingers out. I pushed down on her ass and stretched out her shaking legs. I told her to rest. I watched her lay there and I felt so content. But I wanted to devour more of her. Her and me, I was craving the tasting of our sweet wines combined. I slapped her ass lightly and she flinched. She shivered and flayed ever so still.

I kissed in between her thighs, but she tried to resist but pushing them close. I did not allow her to do this. I pushed her wide open again. I leaned down to smell her. She smelled like a combination of cotton candy and sticky sweets. Now was the time.

I took a breath and I went in for what I wanted. I licked her ass, first in one quick motion. She shook and freaked out. The taste was on my tongue and I wanted more. I wanted her all over my face to outline in white the shape of a dirty smile. I stuck in. I ate her ass for what seemed like hours, pulsing my tongue in and out, spitting and gulping her up like orange juice in the early morning. Now she arrived. Now.

She collasped even deeper. She lay still, I looked when I could glance a quick peek in my disorientation and her eyes were closed. Her body was experiencing some sort of possession, her face was in deep prayer. She begged for more and more. Eventually I returned to the cats den and licked her from bottom to top and top to bottom.

I looked over to see the time. 4:38am. I had to stop, my jaw could not open anymore.

"Wow baby, look outside," I said. "I think it beginning to rain."

Friday, July 18, 2008

27 Ghosts



Another year has come and gone.
Though I have grown older, instead I, the lioness-crab feel wiser.
I trace the lines on my tears and remember all the pain I felt, how I feel apart in my mind and heart. From a haunting end to start, all I can do is remain focused on displaying the writings of my heart.

Everyday. I can mostly still see her silhouette in the sun, like the touch of a breeze on a most perfect of days. I can't help but wonder why things have to come to an end when my only desire is for it not to end. Like an immortal trying to reach out to the otherside, I must except not being seen but sensed. Whether you except it or not, I am still here.

I still bleed and trickle down the front of your white dress with messy distress. I am still very much alive, I see red, though you may choose to see me as dead. A sound penetrates aloud that would frighten anyone to a sitting up stance in their bed. A most torturous, mortifying sound, thumps in my head. Here I ascend in myself, in my dear love. I will not let her slip away.

I touch my skin. I am still here. A tear drop, one single tear drop is all I can spare if I am to survive for deserts of time for more then a single year.
One tear drop continues to fall every day to pay dues for my burden, that I have chosen to carry along the way. It will not go away.

The truth in time has revealed itself to me in a mysterious form; so many that I have loved have gone astray, they have not even picked up the phone to wish me well on my special day. I will linger around them, like a memory that you can not forget. My face will remain their constant beyond my dying days. I will cross the river when my time has come to row away.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Strong Home

I know with each day I grow just a little stronger. Finally I am learning that I must set some boundaries and limits to my inherent sufferings and realize that I am set to endure a story that is worthy of being told. If I can just find the words. I speak of an interesting irony and baffling pain. Of bridges crossed and bridges burned. About the tenderness of the gentlest love and the lacerations that laid within the facility of my silent sadness of heart.

I miss you so much sometimes. I don't even know if you exist but on my best days I am convinced that you do. I hum a sweet melody at the thought of you being close to me in the night. I swear there are no other words that reflect the thought and feeling of you other than pure delight. I giggle at my foolish ways, imagine riding the streetcar and getting excited at the idea of becoming closer to where you are. Closer to you. I had it once, I wish for it again. I am strong enough to remember that I will mend, if the reality of our happiness was to bend.

I have fallen apart, I have rested my loose heart in front of me and interrogated her defiant and resistant nature. Why must she be such a fool, for the fool falls in delight for what is immediate. I love that reckless feeling. Love at first sight, basic instinct, two people that have wandered through life to find solace in eachother. Peace. Knowing that there will always be someone to see you as the woman you are.

I have learned that I must be brave enough to remember what it is that I deserve. I still wake up hurting so much to feel that kind of love again. Happiness is a choice, the trick is learning to say no when you realize something makes you feel bad. Love can be blind, but it's your responsibility to open your mind. Never sail away from the way you had wished it to be, or they way you were once happy. Educate and try your best to move on. Remember that you must be free. Here. Now. We all are human, we all feel pain, abandonment and illogical fear. The bitter is equal to the sweet. The bitter leaves you feeling much more sore. Sweet mercy.

The furniture looks cheap when it is cheap. The decor is not trendy, nor a redemption of a past fad when there is not thought put into a making it a home. She was never able to give me her heart alone.

Alone love can take away the sadness that is ever so true. In our hands is the power to create an art, a home between me and you.