My Hands

I put my head down and stare up at the heavens.
Neatly rested on my small hands are the sights of circles of my [hidden] path.
Around and around, just like a circle. I can see a clearer picture. Will I come full circle?
I wonder what it is that I am supposed to see in these corporal constellations.
I trace the idea of my dreams, the visions of love and happiness that I build in my heart's mind.
I remember that each line I wear is a testament towards testing my will of survival, adaptation and growth.
The small impact I will have on the big universe.

I am such a reckless fool. I can’t help but want to taste, hear, see and feel everything that I come into contact with.
I am so damn inpatient. I stare, I turn, I anticipate.
I worry about things that are beyond my control and while I do this, I stare at my hands.

I feel like a child when I am near you.
Ever so silenced by the fact that a person like you has come into my world.
That you have delicately held my hand.
I do not mean to be rude, or seem like a bitch.
The fact remains that I have a lack of words to describe what it is that you may potentially do to me.

Shyly I fold my hands, and place them neatly back into my lap.
I want to hide.

Throb

Desire.

You know that I want you.
I can see that you want me to.
Tell me your fantasies.
Let me tremble at the craving of your ripe breasts filling the hollowness in my anxious mouth.
How would you like me to twist the desires of your body’s communications between my thighs?
What is it that you have to say to me, sweet baby?

Open yourself to me.
Let me slide into the walls of your pink insides, penetrate you from behind.
I will unfold to you the mystery of what it is to be a lover and a fucker.

Close your eyes, count from 100 down.
Beautiful lady, come with me and let me drink your sweet wine.
I want to set you off and make you feel so good, you will want to scream with ecstatic possession.
Beg me for more and more, until you have no more words left to pour.

Cross your legs and think of me working my magic on the tapestry of your remarkable vessel.
Push you closer, push myself into your deviant mind.
Let me undress you, body and soul.
Relax, release your charms across my soft lips.

I know you want this.

Karma Kaleidoscope

I have seen the beauty more than once that I seek.
I have walked hand in hand with my lover and felt the warmth of a reckless embrace.
I have written her love poems, I have poured the steam of my hearts desires. Exploded with devotion towards my sweet surrender to her and her alone.
Now that I'm gone you realize I'm the best thing that happened to you.

I have comforted a friend when she was sad. Held her close and allowed her to feel dejected, forsaken and temporarily mad.
I have wiped the tears from a child's eye and tried my best to explain the mysteries of answering "why?"
I have listened to hear what it is that you have to say, though at times I don't agree with the positioning that you play.
Now that I'm gone you realize that I'm the best thing that happened to you.

I have fallen in love, felt butterflies flutter in my stomach, lost my head in the clouds up above.
I have cried in such agonizing pain from the thought of loosing something I love, been haunted by memories, believed that I would never be the same. I have suffocated my faith in love, unaware of the violation of you using me to gain perspective on what it is that you lack.
Don't take if you can't give it back.
Now that I'm gone you realize that I'm the best thing that happened to you.

I can't predict what the future brings, nor can I understand the lessons that I am meant to learn until I fall down and hit the floor.
SO I cry and cry, wipe my tears and come back for more.

Distances apart, I will forever remain in your heart.

The Moon's Light

The evening has come to greet me to remind me that there will come another morning.
I manifest the moon within my breast and she reminds me that I must nurture my soul and follow the vines of my growth.
I dream of the day of seeing a small little hand in mine. Her beautiful and open mind I will rest gently over my lap and I shall caress her with the shadow of my endless love. My child. I will be her Mother, her wisdom guide and her spiritual light.
I think of a time when I was so scared that I could not move beyond the lack of oxygen that parulized my lungs into forgetting how to breathe in gravitation. In pattern. In and out. Rotation. Grounded. Relaxed.
I fight for peace after revolution within craters of my mind. My mind can be a grey space/place and I never know what may lay in each crevice/curve. I continue along my way with little knowledge for anything but using my mind and always reminding myself to take the time. Take it slow, I must know. I leave not one area undiscovered, I hold on to my people, my faith, my religion, my eminency to be more than just an ordinary woman.
The heavens were not created over night. Nor would there be any sunshine without the reflection of the moonlight. Nor can I supple the wisdom of my breasts without tasting my own bitterness and disappointment.
I am whole. I am one. I am full of so much love and I just can’t find a way to express myself to make it appear within the image of the moon’s beautiful grace, her unforgettable face.
So I create instead and hope for a world full of lovers, not fighters. Philosophers, not politicians. Music, not bombs. Creators, not destroyers. Energy, not bodies. Faces, not races. Water, not blood. Places for all to call a safe home.
I lay beneath the moonlight and I think what a lovely world that would be.
I harbour the strength to make this change inside of me.
la luna lucida luminoso per rivelare la mia travestimento di amore.

Wrap Your Head Around This Matireal: BADU

When reviewing Erykah Badu words seem irrelevant. It is like taking a journey on a spaceship and landing on a bright horizon of sheer creativity, funk and soul. I saw Erykah Badu at Massey Hall yesterday with the love of my life, Mr.Dacey and all I can say is that I would not rather see Badu with anyone else. Shaun and I grew up on Badu. I remember how in high school “Baduism” was the soundtrack of our desire to potentially decipher the world that we live in through her magical and intelligent communications. This was the third time I have seen Badu and possibly my favourite because of the fantastic acoustics and intimacy of the crowd. You felt like you were her student and she was your “Master/Teacher.”

I suppose to me, EB has always been like a mythical goddess of la musica. Bigger than hip hop.
She makes you feel damn good about being human and struggling and loving, that is Badu’s talent. Her ability to communicate openly her personal story with such vigor to the attention of creatively painting feelings, merged with an echo of sounds and chanting resignation. Live she is flawless and so moving, you can early see that you are not seeing a singer alone, you are seeing an artist install works of her experiences. Yesterday did not disappoint.

Badu started off with “Amerkayn Promise,” the title track from her new album and in “My People” she urges her people to hold on. The idea of America as a seed of corruption is not necessarily a new topic of investigation is any avenue of art. But Badu does it better. How? She merges a neo-soul, R& B and synchronizing sounds with a lovely classical voice. She reminds us that it is a “beautiful world that [we’re] searching for.”

Her stage was simple. No screens, just some colourful lights to illuminate her stage and show the beams of various colours that exude from her creativity. She had four sassy black lady back-up singers (which gave the feel of a old school Supremes set-up) and a bassist, guitarist, drummers x 2, synchronizer on her side table, a keyboardist and a DJ. On her table which is a familiar Badu set-up to a frequent fan , a lap top on it (so she could play songs she enjoyed to set-up some of her performances), a thermos with a mysterious liquid, a tambourine and a small set of maracas. She appeared simple; a stylish black dress that looked very classic flapper with ridges of circular rings around her petite figure, a black head piece that was in-between a helmet and a church hat. Badu is tiny but her presence is unmistakable large. Naturally I got excited and when she pulled her classical move of removing her head wear and showing her hair net, Badu stripped per say. "Next time we leave this damn hat at home, "she remarked towards the end of the show with a smile on her face. Her boots were sexy tall and black to balance her small, warm and gentle energy.

Badu threw out some crowd pleasers through her classics “Otherside of the Game,” “On & On,” “Tyrone,” “Bag lady, “…& On,” “Green Eyes, and “Danger.” You could easily identify the devotee Badu fans like me and the Dace, who knew the words to each of her pieces while others seemed to know the old better then the new. Either way the crowd was vastly eclectic, full of different faces, ages and races. It seemed to affirm that music is truly a universal language beyond classification.

Badu is a force to be reckoned with, whether or not you appreciate her arrangements is up to you. But there ain’t no mistaking that she will take you higher, elevate your soul and rejuvenate your faith in love, life and watering the seeds of our growth. Her lyrics are strongly communicated from the water of her womb and her Queendom is apparent. She speaks through the perspective of a modern ethnic woman with the power to remind us all of the simplicity of good vs. evil, pain vs. evil, stagnancy vs. growth.

I am a faithful devotee to Baduism, always. Reminded of “Me”.
"Thank you for allowing me to share my creativity," she said at the end of the show. No, thank you. You are too damn cool.

...Going UP

I stood there and looked at the drunken white chicks pile onto the elevator.
I was sober, mainly chilling from a night of hitting down my booty on the dancefloor. I could still feel the freedom of my feet and I continued to tap my foot on the ground to the sound of my own beat.

I always look forward to encounters with a pack of white chicks for they never seem to disappoint me in wanting to shake my head.
This night would certainly not disappoint.

Going up!

One white chick said in reference to a girl they had just seen, "That girl was totally a hot tranny mess."
The other replied, "she was so not fierce. So not fierce."

I bite my tongue. I held onto my laughter and hid behind my tough lesbian, stylish exterior, how lame they sounding talking like twinks.
Amusement and judgement gargled in my throat.
I had never felt so tempted to want to slap white girls for being so ignorant and such shameless and perpetual thieves of gay culture.

You take our music, you take our style, do you have to take our gay culture too?
Will they ever think of anything original or will they always try to be you??!!
LET MY PEOPLE GOoooo!

La Bonita

The first time I saw her face I knew that she was someone special.
I saw the delicateness of her smile, the fashionable way in which she carried herself so differently from the other girls.
Her eyes were electrifying and sent a bolt of energy to my mind which had felt so unamused for sometime.

At first she was shy. I could not look at her as I thought if I did she would catch how entranced I felt by her mere presence.
She was regal and strong. I could sense it off her, the way she stood, the way in which she moved. She way that she looked without fear and did not show any signs of backing down.

I sat and let it marinate on the grill of my mind, which led me to run away from wanting anything but getting to know her. What a most unpredictable way to be free when you never know that what you feel will lead you to be anything that you want to be.

Beautiful. She does not even know how much she deserves.
If I could take away the confusion, I would. If I could lead her to a place and show her that I desired to have a good time with her alone. If she only knew.

I want to kiss you.

"Devil Wouldn't Recognize You": Madonna

Off of album "Hard Candy," which dropped on April 29th, 2008. This song is put to some of Madonna's previous video footage.

"Even the devil wouldn't recognize you. I do...I do."