Sunday, March 30, 2008

Absolute Pattern

I have come out tonight for one reason, to dance,
I walk into the room and I see 100 women looking at me.
I don't care to see them as the only thing I can do is feel the rhythm seducing my feet.
Dance bitch, time to set free!

I use to be so afraid when I was young, conscious of letting myself be free to dance openly in front of a room watching me.
I was young, overweight and not necessarily proud of the way I looked. I was paranoid at the idea of someone watching clumsily try and bust a move, I was just so shy and so scared to express myself in my body.
For many years I watched people gather around the dancefloor with not enough courage to join them and release my own inhibitions. But somehow my head always was bopping and I never missed a beat with the sole of my foot beating against the ground, pound for pound.

I open my eyes and though the room is full, I see no faces, only bodies that move in different places. I want to move every muscle, I want to sweat until I soak through my shirt. I wanna close my eyes and feel the music lift me away from the reality that bites around me, the people that seem to rock in confined precession. This is my time to show the moves that allow me to keep at a regular flow, time to stop the show. Girl dance that booty out ya pants!

I let the music grow into a motion that resides in my hips, my butt, my arms, my breast and my feet, the blood inside of me. They can't handle me. I feel the first drip of sweat from my brow and I feel the possession in my body take over, enslaved by the rhythm, the vocals that urge me to keep up. It's all over now.

I use to think that I was not someone who could entice a room, no one special outside a crowd of movable art. But now I know that I am a piece of art alone, I can see it by the way I run out of breath and the way the music makes me moan from my head to my chest. If you can't keep up with me I suggest you stand aside, watch me lay it down beside you, step aside. Music resides within me, it is who I am. Like food gives us the energy to function through the day, it is music that allows me to make all my troubles go astray.

I danced until they said it was time to go. I smiled at the thought of how scared I use to be and now everyone was watching me. I am just the way I want to be, overheated, full of energy, stamina and not afraid to loose control when I am aware others look at me with peculiar glare. I am enraptured to the dancefloor, I am under her spell. She is my voodoo priestess and I her faithful concubine. Fill me, possess me, you have put a spell on me.

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