I have been told I am an idealist. At times I see this as true. Don’t be misled into believing that I do not struggle with the strangulation of pain, depression, desperation and the endless demands and hustles of this so-called “game”. I have been forced to loose so many things that I value, without ever having someone comfort my miserable disdain. But I fight hard to remember, even when I am face down in the gutter, of another’s amplified and omnipresent pain.
I do not wish to leave this world alone, with nothing but my own anger and pointed blame. Though each day I feel lonely, though I have not slept in solitaire tranquility in months. Though I have been afraid to let love be free and find its way without being in my captivity. I know my fears are not helpless, they are capable of control. I must remain as strong as the body that carries my soul, exercise to keep it feeling alive and bold. I do not wish to revel in happy memories past, only to have them converted into a liquefied serum of disconnection at last.
Open your eyes and see the condition of misery that is beseeched onto those who are not rich in purse, but rich in soul. On the colourful news, in the black and white paper, that is what I see everyday. I am constantly reminded of how little we really care. Flies hovering around corpses of dead babies, humans that have nothing left but bone on their skin. Yet they still manage to survive with an endurance, without receiving little of anything.
We should all be ashamed of what we claim to be. We are far from being the greatest of societies. Progress is stagnant if you do not save others before yourselves. It is not about being a noble martyr. It is about unconditional care for those who have been handed into a responsibility of our care. I am not talking about lovers or even friends. I am talking about those who do not have the ability to escape the regulated neglect of our capitalist world. Those who have no food to eat, those who have no clean water to drink. Those who have been raped and tortured by the hands of a savage militia, those who have been beaten for their system of beliefs. Truth should always comes before dare, anywhere.
Shove a needle in your arm, smoke a joint to numb the pain. Desensitize yourself from flying emotions, or their possilble worth. For without them life would appear to be such an insatiable flame and you would have nothing but a private pain. I stand to observe and understand the power of kindness alone, for I have seen from my own path alone, that there is an opportunity to turn into still marble or stone. Our ability to create marvelous structure, and then feel no shame, when it is ripped into pieces and left in the rain. Those who are able to see that there is so much more suffering in life than what is inflicted on you and me.
Those who inspire me in life are the philosophers of humanity, the writers of humanism, the artists of the human condition, human musicians. They inspire me because of their fascination with understanding our mortality, morality, our toleration of love and pain. History will repeat itself until we are no more. Now is the only time we can change this future, or we will not endure.