Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Awake

Those who promote conflict benefit from it. Not those who are privy to it, saturated in it. It's more sexy for cowards to tower over power, than realize healing must take place for generations of pain, for so many and provide tools and patience for positive change.

For the criticism of history and the challenge of its recollection through a selection of voices of narrow on change, women, people of colour. Yet disengaged from modifying systems to be put in place to create opportunities for every person to thrive, feel alive. 



How simple it could all seem in a dream, when an inhale of breath into the breast free from the weight of systemic oppressions, anxieties, depressions. Trauma. 

They want to distort us to shift focus from empowering youth, saying that black lives matter and brown lives are important. Bury the image that skin other than white can achieve success, and sustain from being swallowed into dilution that keeps power gleefully fucking privilege. 

Yet it is the poets, the protesters, the journalists, the musicians, the painters, the creators words and expressions that provoked generations. Wealth sunk 6 feet under and enjoyed no life after death, no possibility to resonate with future generations. 

The power is in the people, emerge the issues we need to address, the ideas we see rise in our communities as valuable affirmations. What sort of a world would it be if the rich were poor and the poor rich equally? What would the cost of freedom be away from systemic slavery? 

The essence of human potential is cooperatively an achievable reality. Each child needs to be told they are beautiful, each woman given encouragement and access to elevate intellectual confidence into desired change. This reality sticks with me. 


It was all a dream.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

My Resistance of Canada 150: 7 Reasons

I appreciate that I am a Canadian. I recognize the privileges I have, as well as the freedoms. However I will not be celebrating #canada150 for these reasons:

1) Indigenous people have suffered greatly over the past 150 years because of the pass system, residential schools and the Sixties Scoop.
2) The annihilation of Indigenous cultures. The lack of opportunity to reclaim what they lost during colonization. 
3) Implemting with urgency the Truth and Reconciliation Commission's report recommendations detailing the heart-wrenching testimonies of thousands of residential school survivors, their parents and many others.
4) Decriminalizing systemic and everyday attitudes towards Indigenous people. 
5) Urgently providing adequate water, food, shelter and social services in ALL indigenous communities. 
6) Honouring Dish with One Spoon Treaty. Here we agreed to share, replenish and protect the lands we are now inhibiting. 
7) Although Indigenous women and girls make up only 3% of the female population in Canada, they represent 10% of all female homicides in Canada. Indigenous women in Canada face many risk factors, compared to non-Indigenous women. There are nearly 1,200 murdered and missing indigenous women and girls in Canada, possibly more. We need answers, their families need answers and to have their grief taken seriously. 

The Scream, on the cover, The Subjugation of Truth, by Kent Monkman.

My own parents were expelled from their homeland by Ugandan military dictator, Idi Amin. Displacement, rejection and struggle was met by courage, and they have survived - but the recognition of the rapes, death, tortures and brutalization still remains sparse. 

While many of us are out celebrating, please remember the impact of colonization in all our lives and the obligation to tell the truth, and honour the first peoples of the land. 


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

I Use to Know


Radical Brownies, illustrated. Image by Julio Salgado


I am driven by a hunger I do not understand
The flow of the moon reflects little specs of creativity
...in my belly

I am not afraid to be alone
I yearn for love
I am Queer as fuck
        yet I yearn for one love
Peace after the bombs

Inspiration is the only place I have found
     resiliency
Expression, voice
    releasing the truth
no
 alternative truths
Refugees taking over
White man running

Mamma told me to always be myself
I am not sorry
Will my love away
                    When I was one.

Visit Julio Salgado's page

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Year New

Evolution is survival. There seems to be some confusion about the definition.
Each day represents so many reasons to get lost in mad confusion.
I am a healer but I need healing.
Why are people not kinder? Am I fat? Did I feed the cats? What should I eat next? Did I eat? What is the reason I continue finding reason to hope that we can move beyond catastrophic self-obsessional ways?

Colours fade in a black and white world.
Black Lives Matter. Brown Lives Matter.
Stifling images leaving little room for differences, curves. Any truth or common sense on how to preserve life dies.
To many prescription pills. Mental health is an epidemic, too much weight and pressure on all our shoulders.
Look how they try and hide your story, omit your songs and hopes from existence.
Extracting creativity is the only true way of preserving stories of actually being human. Repress what you should be and express what you need to be.
Humility is not defined by religion. Check a history book, religion is an institutionalization of belief that has been the reason for so much destruction. A trap to entice the gluttony of greed in your neighbourhoods, communities, mind.

That doesn't seem very human. Who have we become?
It isn't easy on some days, but there's always brighter days - just like Tupac said.
As the new year rolls in fill your body and the whole wide world with thoughts of all that is dear, healing, happy and raising the disenfranchised voices and ways of living.
Know better, because knowing is better.
2017 I want to get away from all these mislead human intentions - hate, sexism, phobias and racism. Removing fashion of disenfranchising realities and finding a way to reflect only the lights we all carry within.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Giver and Go-Getter

I tried so hard to tell myself that it was all worth the fears, the anxieties, the broken hearts, or perfections that seamlessly came apart some day. In desperate times I felt as though my mind had gone, I had to learn to fall and catch myself annoyingly frequently. To keep moving in a direction that would remind me to breakaway from the confines of the skin I needed to shed, what it feels like for a queer woman of colour some days, or simply what it takes to remain human.
Somehow I could not forget all the ones I love(d). The touch of the clearest blue ocean cleansing my skin, washing away all the weight holding me from becoming free. The sand exfoliating the feet I relied on to be the foundation of bringing me up to face the world again.


Ready or not, whatever I didn't want to come, came. So much of what was dear, became a smile in the memories of broken glass reflecting haunting images like the Phantom of the Opera singing to himself at night.
Floating pieces in my belly.
I restore my faith each day, I don't get down on my knees to pray. I don't like bowing unless it is for elders I respect. Does that make me unethical, a devil woman with a reason to wreak havoc in this muthaf$cka?
I carry myself each day. I know what it feels like to be me, to carry myself when I am not sure I truly understand anything. Well except honouring my drumming heart, the simple but vital act of breathing or catching breath, trying to be smarter and forgiving myself for my mistakes and my limitations based on what's left to exhaust.
Fumes some days. Fire others.
I still believe in love. I'm saving all my love
just like Whitney.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Psyche Mirrored Escape Room 81

They treat us like we are numbers.
If they don’t like the way we look, the way we feel, what we deserve, what we occupy, views
They like to turn their backs and report us to terrorist authorities who claim an imitation and privileged sense of justice, caring little for equal opportunities and more about attaining power for the greedy few with a limited palette for the truth, sharing, being kind and decent human beings, just being that way
Don't turn off the lights, but see they lurk  like cowards with propaganda to disenfranchise us from finding purpose
Mental health is mental wealth.
All while we are trying to find footing and balance in a world that can seem so out of control 
How many tears need not be shed from tragedies that were social responsibility?
The root of excess and striving to be an illusion, not encouraging us, not even seeing us
I use to think it was harsh to think, but I can’t deny the way I see such an difference for any conviction
We treat each other over the course of what we claim as evolution, without really asking  what we need, our hopes, and it puzzles me
Why don't people with instinct send up for the elder on the subway? 
Why does everyone look like they are running to and from themselves? 
Such a confusion of slow and fast moments, not knowing what's next, but swearing to have some flex to stay on top of the world
No reason holding on to a dream that's gone
Running, running, everyone has somewhere to go, but are the lights on, is anyone home?
Some days I just feel fed-up

I wonder how to maintain purpose, but I never lose my core
I gain motivation knowing the stories I have been told and I have to tell myself
Keeping the motion of the words I find with me, planning my great escapes with imagination as a visualization of the world I can see us all doing better in. 


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Stirred but not Shaken: Toronto Blue Jays October Baseball

As many of you fellow avid Jays fan, I am feeling a little confused on now to sum-up emotions from this years not so gracious end. While it is no easy task to make it to the ALCS two years in a row, what are the underlining issues that are peaking through for the Toronto Blue Jays? What is holding them back from getting into a World Series?

Here is my top 10 BEST:


  1. Edwin Encarnacion. Seriously the man is gold, and he is now coming off his personal best season. 127 RBIs, 42 HRs and while this in itself is impressive, the man cannot be taken for granted on how clutch he is in big situations. His bat discipline is amazing, and even though he is bombarded with basically outside and unhitable pitches, he still manages to push through. His offence was not a surprise, we all know he is more than capable. But what was a surprise, was how decent he is playing a defensive position at 1st base, and opening up the DH spot for another hitter. I think this involvement with his team on both ends has helped make it the best season for him and his fans. He better comeback to the6ix, because he is an elite player, reminiscent of Jose Bautista in his hay days.
  2. Aaron Sanchez. This kid hurling fastballs with movement is like very few I have seen. At just 23, his potential to be great is enormous. I was a little unsure when I saw him show up this season, defiantly looking much heartier and stronger. The question for me was how would he adjust in a starting role, and did he have the stuff and stamina to keep it going as a starter? The answers to all the above is YES!
    He pitched close to 200 innings this year, more than double from the previous, carrying an overall 15-2 record. He has proven himself as an ace in the making and his willingness to move past all the chatter of whether he could has impressed me even more. Next year I don't wanna hear any doubts about his abilities or physical capabilities. He looked strong out there 95% of the time - he deserves to be respected for winning the AL ERA title at an even 3.00. He is the future of pitching!
  3. J.A. Happ. I had the pleasure of seeing Happ start quite a few times this year. As the only lefty starter for a majority of the season (previous to the acquiring of Fransisco Liriano), he plays far more an important role in the starting rotation than even his amazing numbers reflect. A top Cy Young candidate in my opinion, alongside Porcello of Boston, his ability to make pitches in a calm, collected way is amazing. He only have up 72 runs in 195 innings. That is impressive. He brings the professionalism and maturity that is a stabilizing force in the starting rotation and at 33, is peaking at his best. 
  4. Ezequiel Carrera. Quite simply, this man is a go-to weapon. For a bench player, I think he is the one guy who earned his keep to play more regularly. He does it all, a master bunter, speed, excellent fielder and boy when he gets streaky, is he ever streaky! Perhaps the thing that was most surprising for me was the demonstration of some of his power. While he did not have a ton of home runs, it was clear the way he drives the ball that he has some pop. I wouldn't mind seeing him become an everyday player. Perhaps stepping into right field if Joey Bats is let go.
  5. Josh Donaldson. Not much selling needed of the reigning MVP from the AL in 2015. He plays the game the right way, he approached every at-bat with such discipline. It was clear that at times this season JD was playing through some injuries, but he never whined about them and pushed through.
    This playoff season he was batting over .400, yes .400! He is a big part of the heart of this team, he pumps up his follow players and keeps it real. I love his new over the pants socks and hightop shoes look - keep it fresh Bringer of Rain. He ain't so shabby in the field either. Perhaps one of the underrated fielders spoken about in the regular season. 37 HR, 99 RBIs - he makes a team winning.
  6. Roberto Osuna. Osuna Matata! Can you even imagine being 21 and having 36 saves? He is the youngest in MLB history to recored this many saves. This young man is another weapon of mass destruction, much like Sanchez, who represents the future of baseball pitching. It is so impressive how calm and collected he remains in any situation. He has the aura and presence of someone who has been doing it for years.
  7. Troy Tulowitzki. TULO! Quite honestly, I have never seen such an impressive shortstop in MLB. The man throws unimaginable strikes to first from already impossible stops. He is the heart and soul of the in-field defence and pushes his teamates to step-up to his level. The influence he has had on his fellow infielders in undeniable, and who better to show Devon Travis the ways. This man is invaluable. While his batting to some time to come around, it seems like he has finally got past the injuries that have plagued him over the past 2 seasons. I think we just started to see a glimpse of how great a bater he is later in the season. He is defiantly become one of my personal favourites, TULO!
  8. Jason Grilli. It's Grilli time! It was clear that the Jays bullpen of last year was not going to be enough in a league that is producing lightsout power from their bullpens. Jays needed to step up that game, and Jason Grilli, the veteran, is exactly the prescription needed. It was clear of the affect Mark Buehrle provided in terms of leadership on the pitching staff and I think Grilled Cheese has stepped into this role quite nicely. Seeing sweat flying from his locks and his unusual staredown to set for a pitch has become something Toronto fans have come to appreciate. While Brett Cecil has struggling with injuries and command for most of the season (but got back into the solid pitcher we know the past 2 months), Grilli took on the role of set-up man. I think that Cecil and Grilli, alongside Benoit is a winning combo for the future. 
  9. Joe Biagini. The Rookie with a sense of humour! What is there not to love about this kind? It is clear that he works hard, and it shows with his precision on the mound. I think his potential is just starting to unfold, and his pitch arsenal will continue to get deeper and stronger. I could see him being a starter in the future. Jays should keep that in mind, like another Sanchez-like transition. 
  10. Devon Travis. Booty baseball is back in town! Devon Travis is an amazing ballplayer. He is just in his first full-isa season, due to nagging injuries, but does he ever add so much as a leadoff hitter and has a high IQ at the plate. He is just beginning to show his potential and will be an all star one day! I hope his injuries don't become him, as he is a star in the making out at second. We haven't seen one since Robbie Alomar, but personal childhood hero! I heart baby (the nickname his teammates have to him). The only .300 bater on the squad this year. He will improve as a fielder too, I believe, as he gets more confidence and experience. 


Top 7 WORST:
  1. John Gibbons. Aside from the fact that he looks like an earthworm, the man is a moron. He did show some level of improvement when it came to rotating his bullpen, but he just does not possess the smarts to take this club to the next level. Sadly, it is already announced that he will be back next season. He needs to become more aware when to pull people out. Also on how to get bench players more regular at bats. I could go on and on. He looks like an earthworm. 
  2. Russell Martin. Calm your tits! I love Russell Martin behind the plate and calling games, but my gods, is his offensive approach is frustrating at time. Dude, if you are 0-21, cut down your swing and just make contact already! He has his hot hot hot month, but other than that, just was not able to produce offensively in the way he can. His throwing runners out percentage was also significantly lower than in his past years. Again, love Martin, but for a veteran he should have a better approach at the plate. I think Navarro should get more consideration for starts, he was on during the playoffs and also deserve some respect.
  3. Micheal Saunders. Again, love me Captain Canada when he is on. But boy when he is off at bats, is he ever off! Some time I roll my eyes at the pitches me swings at - so many bloody strikeouts like his buddy Martin. While he was hot as hell in the first half and named an all-star, again I think this is more about him becoming a more disciplined player next season. I like Saunders, I just think he needs to improve his ability to diversify what he can hit and where he is hitting. We all know he can connect with low and inside. I wonder he will be back next year, the outfield looks uncertain to me with Bautista and Upton being unknowns. 
  4. R.A. Dickey. So likeable as a human being, and a class act. But dude, knuckleballs have got to go! They have no place in a starting rotation in MLB today, it is a different kind of game. He is not dynamic enough anymore. Love you R.A. but you gotta go!
  5. Josh Thole. I feel a little mean about this one, I mean the poor man is R.A.'s personal catcher for years. Unfortunately for him, his role is so attached to that purpose and he doesn't exactly hone the skills of a Jedi master behind the plate. Next!
  6. Ryan Goins. I don't know what happened to Goins this year, but he never got it Goins! While he is an exceptional fielder at second and short, his ability to connect with a bat became bleak. I don't know what to think, but the reality is that Devon Travis is an all-star in the making and hot as hell, as the Jays only .300 batter in the regular season. 
  7. Jose Bautista. Hold me, this is hard for me to say. He has been my man for years now, but the fact is Joey Bats is not who he use to be at almost 40. I think it is more difficult to be a mature bater than a pitcher, and with two injuries that kept him out of around 50 games this year, the question is, where does he fit or does he into the future of the Jays?
    He is not as quick as he once was, and clearly not as powerful as when he was the two-time homerun champ. The main issue in the Jays lineup is that they need more contact hitters, guys that can just get on and don't always have to swing to the fences. He is still good, don't get me wrong, but I think that EE is the staple power hitter now in the starting line-up and JD a close second. I love you Jose! Thank you for bringing the thunder to Toronto baseball. I wouldn't be shattered if you stayed either. Sigh. 

Well now that is off my chest, I thank the Jays for another great season. Being in the top 4 is not shabby at all! But the question is how do we win a World Series, or even get to win? I think the starting rotation is now on-point, the bullpen is looking tight too. What needs to be adjusted is the batting line-up - we need guys who can just get on, hit it the other way, so that when the home run is not flying, there are other ways. Josh Donaldson has this down to an art, his teammates should follow. I think there needs to be some changes made. Here's to looking forward to April baseball in 2017!










Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Russian Roulette for One

It's funny how the weight of the chest can be so variable.
Free and in love, heavy and broken.
Pieces of scattered moments that have passed and things that you didn't know how to be better at.
Even when you are the best it's natural to temporarily lose confidence in your step.
But don't forget to get back to flex.
Did you have a choice when came apart, did it break your heart?
Have you seen the world that stares at me from inside the window, in reflection on the water.
Clearly anyone can see that struggle is a way of life in a world so sick with hatred and greed.
How can anyone feel elated, when you are not taught to lift yourself and those around you.
Self-administered assassinations.
At the end of the day.
It's a game I never wanted to play.

La Furia/Fury
by  Michelangelo Buonarroti