Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Lovestream

The way I have fallen for you is tender. Over the nights of sleeping beside you I have slowly grown to want this wonderful to be constant reality between you and me. I can smell you on my pillow - I can breathe you in my air long after you are gone. I want to keep you tucked beside me, allow your sensual lips to become the sensor to detect my endless limbs lustful longings. You are my spotless minds submittal for poetic conditioning. I want to wake-up as often as I can beside you and say how much I love you, that I want to cherish you for the woman you are and the woman you are yet to become. The way I want your womanhood is without limitations.

Travelling through my lovestream in speedy desire I want you to take control of my body’s functions towards self-actualization. When you have your tongue in me I can’t help but believe in God, for I feel out of my body, possessed by some sort of ecstasy that is beyond simple mortality. Your body naked against mine, so strong and agile makes me feel safe beside you. I tremble from the thought of you wanting me the way you do, I have fallen so softly into you. The tone of your sweet voice is calming and pure - the touch of your creamy skin sends intoxicating shivers through my soul. I am happily drunk on you.

Not only am I your lover but your admirer. I respectfully envy your creativity and marvel at the thought that I may inspire you in your expressions. You have forever touched me; I forever want to touch you. Won’t you come lay beside me and we can listen to the wind blow the snow and I’ll keep you warm with foolishness and laughter? After we can think about what it is that we can do together, tell each other that we don’t need but want one another.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Soul Scribe


Do you see me for what I really am? I am the tallest mountain to the clearest, purple sky. I will make tender love to you endlessly when you crave affection, it will be my pleasure to give you all of my sweet attention. Come rest beside me at night while the moons smiles upon us and we tuck in tight. Our flame can last for an eternity if you allow yourself to be free to me, succumb to my love spell without hesitation or redundant contemplation of selfish negativity. I will never fail you because I am your hero, I am your friend, I am your teacher, I am your support, I am your lover. I am beauty with no foreseeable end. Rise beside me when the sun caresses our skin with the purity of its rays, look into my eyes to see my soul bare truth. I have come as your saviour to lead you towards all that I believe: love is everything and everything is love.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Prolific Familiarity

Fresh out of breath from the poundings over time that had impacted my chest, I lost the importance of respecting simplicity and pacing the rest. Never forgetting to search for a love that was consistent and firm, pure and true, I longed for an impressive instant in which irresistibly would melt one and one to become entwined two. In an attempt to release this sacred hope I got on my knees and prayed for our strong hands binding together whenever we needed each other. I felt every crevice of my being placing a bet that we would withstand the fading of time and the measure of space. I had a vision that we would find a way to survive keeping our spirits together forever through the fire and the rain, above the dust and through the pain. That no matter where I traveled when away from you, I could still turn to you. I could close my eyes and feel that one beautiful smile from your perfect lips would be worth more than any indulgence or material worth. My curly hair resting upon your pink skin, I would listen to your breath as you speak and become a sanctuary for me. To your arms I would always return home.

I thought of myself pacing like a mad woman to count the moments before I could see you again, the franticness that I needed to breathe you in again. With you there would be no beginning nor end, for your kindness is constant and would drive my soul to finally understand prolific familiarity.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Breasts



From the moment she was born the first taste she had was her mother’s milk falling from rotund, pointy breasts. The milk that came from her mother’s breasts allowed her to grow healthy and sprout into a child by nourishing her bones progress. As she grew into a girl she was curious to watch her own breasts grow into form. The form of these bumps reminded her of a time laying peacefully with her eyes closed across her mother’s arms and feeding on her most intimate white charm. Her breasts started off looking like small mosquito bites but eventually grew to fit the need for a training bra, as when she ran they would bounce all around. Then adolescence came and with it puberty. She became far more aware of not only seeing but feeing her breasts lying across the chest of her skin. When she was 15 she acquired her first lover and the first sexual sensation she felt was him rubbing up against her chest. The smile that formed across her face came from an innocent glee that only a teenager creates. Many lovers came that nibbled, bit and sucked on her breasts but at 34 her chest for the first time took the course of her mother’s breasts. Babe in hand, a small, delicate boy, she rested him across her arms as her mother had once rested her. She remembered how she felt when her mother had feed her. She began to weep with the sorrow of joy, her mother had died because her breasts grew cancer and defeated her body until it rested still of distress. Now there he was, her son, sucking on her white charm. She wiped away her sorrow and decided to celebrate life, for with him sucking on her breasts he was bringing his grandma back to life.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

To Be Really Really Really Straight with You


I will be on a panel speaking in partnership with Harbourfront Centre's upcoming World Stage show, To Be Straight with You and Buddies in Badtime Theatre's Young Creative Unit.

To Be Really Really Really Straight with You
will prove to be an interesting evening and expression of young queer voices in Toronto and beyond. Join us?

This event is free and takes place at Buddies in Badtime Theatre on November 30th, 7-9pm. For more info click here.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Yogaess



There is something calm about the way she moves me. Perhaps when she sits still in an instant with me somehow it manages to soothe me. Every stolen moment we get together thrills me. I feel unafraid when I am around her because she reminds me beauty is pure as blood intoxicating wine. I call her divine inspiration, the kindness of celestial gratification. At moments she hesitates with me but you see I am not willing to let that be the reason why she walks away from me. I know she is beginning to feel me.

She is kind without giving it a thought. When I hold her hand, even if for a brief moment, it rises my panting in momentum to reach out and touch her, smell her aroma sweet and soft with my own small hands. I can smell her everywhere I go, strongly especially when I think of making love to her with the calmness of the rain dripping from our bodies, then echoing off the window pane. Special, that is what she is and I am going to be the one to let her know. She touches me so gently and I can’t resist craving her more and more.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Speaking at Unity Conference Toronto


I will be speaking at Unity Conference Toronto on November 18, 2009. This interesting and informative event taking place at Ursula Franklin Academy. Please join for an important cause!

"The Unity Conference brings together youth and educators from across the GTA and the province that are engaged or interested in the creation and support of Gay-Straight Alliances in schools."

"The Unity Conference supports queer and trans youth and their allies in their efforts to create safe, positive spaces within the school system and their communities. This year, the conference explores the diversity of queer and trans experiences and history."

"Starting in 2005 with 60 students from 5 schools, the conference has grown exponentially to include 250 students from 20 schools including those from the Niagara, Halton and Lakehead regions. The success of the Unity Conference demonstrates the need for school-based 'queer friendly' organizations."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Parul Pandya's Letter of Absence

I almost DIED when my good friend Craig sent me this. I was complaining that I did not want to work and he said he would write me a letter....



Please excuse Parul Pandya from work. She's a member of The Eager Beaver Society of Upper Canada. She's actually one badge away from earning her slut status. She's been in training for over a year now after taking a long break to heal from a violent chewing accident that involved dentures and labia. We're so proud of Parul and extend an invite to all of her co-workers to watch Parul build on her dam (dental dam) skills. After Parul masters this trait she'll be qualified to do outreach work to lesbians throughout the North American Penal system, yes we're recognized in the US as well! Please join Parul in marking this achievement! Any questions, feel free to contact our Lead Beaver at Eager Beavers of Canada, Muffy.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

For Real

The stars course a plan that sends me your unsuspecting way. We connect at the least expected time, please don’t shy and look away. I glance over to see you smile and all my worries instantly melt away from echoing hollow, past moments from yesterday. You see I am no longer taunted with silent stray. Words seem irrelevant to spell how much you put me in a sentimental mood. I want to move closer to you, I want you to see how you make me feel. I am here with you in this moment for real.

The moon reflects a light that allows me courage to follow you faithfully, while thoughts of loving you dance in the rhythm of my mind without tire. I follow every trace of your mouths movement with my hungry eyes. I grow dizzy with the whiplash this causes my vision but I still manage to feel refreshing like a glass of fleshy peach juice inside. When you lean forward my heart skips a beat and losses hesitation to believe in two hearts that bleed with burning inevitability. I want to move closer to you, I want you to see how you make me feel. I am here with you in this moment for real.

If I could move the heavens without disrespecting natural beauty I would push all obstacles, cloud storms and lightning’s turbulence aside. I would lift you to the skies and take you for a slide down the mountain sides, high above the tallest of trees and back to the ground where I would take your arms and tuck them into me. Holding you would allow you to feel how much I want to have you near, how I want to be the one you lean on and ask me to wipe your salty tears. Each time I make love to you I will exhale with exhilaration and homage to never take you for granted. I want to move closer to you, I want you to see how you make me feel. I am here with you in this moment for real.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Fragmentation Revelations


Here I am before you, just plain old me. No tricks to embellish my perpetual search to rest my body, no fears to hide that which I’m sometimes afraid to bare, no garments to make me seem regal and robust and distract of my wear. Stripped in, sprawled out, just plain old me with an uncertainty of why I’ve arrived at a point in my life where though I have moved forward, I still feel anxious to see what’s out there for me. It’s not that I’m ungrateful of what I do have, I just need to keep moving closer towards realizing the greater bigger picture, my entire hearts contents, my born talents, my forever dreams. I fear that if I stand here waiting for someone, them to realize my value, time may pass me by and become a constant reminder of how I let my true opportunities for fulfillment pass me by.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stained Glass Woman


St Catherine, 1500-25 Stained-glass, 92 x 58 cm
Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam


She is a simple woman, neither devastatingly beautiful nor perfect in size. However there is a mystical air about her when she walks alone. Before entering the windy and wet world that violently thrashes sin away by the kiss of the ever-falling rain, she peers up at the stained glass image of a woman on her knees praying with peaceful melancholy. This stained glass is no larger than the width of small hands folded in prayer and hangs just above the arched door she uses to take leave into the world outside, and will again come through to come home. With a flick of fascination she manages to stare into a daze at this curious image, though she has seen it a thousand times before. Full of colour and life, the scene depicts a way of thinking about devotion and desperation from another time for her. You see she does not subordinate herself to fall on her knees when she prays, she would much rather take the higher road by standing equally with her faith. The woman appears to be in some sort of desperation in the narration, her eyes are squeezed tightly and her body seems to be limp and broken. This reminds her of herself in another time, in another place – but she is no longer that image of weakened condition fallen from the hands of living grace.

As she steps into the outside world she buckles her knees together to remember not to be bow prey to all the vultures that will peer at her with temptation. She can see through the flames of hell and resist the taste of others fruits, even if they lick their grotesquely perfect lips and make her wet a little. As she walks with her head afloat above the simple minds, the noise that lifts and the sewage that rises to pollute the air into stale, she peers to the right of her to see the rain is about to subside. Only 32 steps from the arch of her door, then only 1 minute and 12 seconds from after the ceasing of the rain she sees a light form that attracts the tips of her eyes. The emergence of a rainbow, brighter than any she had seen before is like a vision. She is moved, she feels as though she is religious in that moment. Softly she begins to weep at her selfish misconception of the woman in the stained glass. Perhaps the woman is not as alien to her as the ancient past. She is awakening to realize the depiction is not of a woman desperate and in need, but that of a woman who sees evil and experiences ill intentions that longs for beauty to set her free. She now willingly falls to her knees.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Autumn/Self-Alteration

I have been changing lately. I know people say that they are going through changes all the time, but in all honesty these changes that I am going through have had a different motivational factor then in those in my past. Previously I have made changes to allow myself to heal and move-on; now the changes I'm making are to make myself a wiser and more mature adult and human being. One could say sharpening the tip of my pen to make myself flow with better direction.

I am aware that life is hectic, that we do not necessarily all strive to attain the same on this journey. In the past I was too harsh when people did not react or act the way I wanted them too, and I didn't consider that perhaps they were being the best version of themselves in that moment, just like me. Though it was never intentional for me to shun judgments on those people, I today realize I did without awareness. I also gave those who did not deserve my attention after crossing the line of showing me respect, too much boost from the battery of my energy. This was not their fault, for any man or woman when tempted with kindness would be inclined to accept a helping hand. Now I think why wait for them to show you respect, show your damnself the respect you seek everyday.

I can not really explain what has happened to me, it is like a part of me has awaken into consciousness that I was previously unaware, a part of me that I have never granted access to the forefront of my decisions and emotional outputs. I am aware of the expression that "happiness lies in your own hands," and today this is interrupted by me to be the ability to alternate a previous state of discouraging mind and take charge of moving on and seeking peace and love. What if your way of thinking in the past was not wrong, but the reasons why you allowed yourself to be uprooted gave little regard to keeping sacred a little part of you - no one else could buy this part of or from you.

My soul is not for sale, of that I am sure. You may flash your temptations, have me in the trance of lust, but I will persevere in the end and come back to me. We all need a reason to rise again, and I have found now that the reason is me. My ups, my down, my in, my outs, my spontaneity and my fears. You see for me true change is to improve yourself to live and breath as a better person, to make the life that you lead and those who you are blessed to have at your side be proud of the individual you are and unravel to be.

I am changing. When the first leaf hits the ground, the tree slowly begins to feel more comfortable letting go of the second, and the third. Revitalization is nature. I am human nature.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Latest in Xtra: DYKE FIGHTS!



Have a laugh on me, will you? Click here, and don't forget to put on a helmet and a codpiece - this may hurt a little.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Discotheque



I don't wanna come down from my discoball. When I groove you move your hips in a funky motion. Baby I'm into you. I sink and you float my move. You open up free when you dance for me. I'm in a trance watching you steal my heart. Knock me with your best shot, god I want you too. Motion that we're gonna make it happen when our energies get together.

Rush, put your hands around me. I can't express every inch of you smelling like my desire, red like blood licked in ecstasy. Come closer. Close your eyes. I wanna be inside you. Move with me. Throb with me slowly. I wanna look into your eyes and see how you want me. Feel me drip sweat because of you. I just wanna touch myself when I think of you. I can't just get you outta my head, like Kylie says.

Monday, October 5, 2009

"Changing the Light Bulb" A Night of South Asian Funny


Come join me stir-up some laughter for a good cause, alongside some pretty amazing South Asian talents in Toronto!!! Wear a diaper, or you may have a messy curry run stain in your pantaloons when you leave.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Toronto Poet Truth Is: My Latest in Xtra



This interview was inspiring and such a genuine pleasure for me to do. Truth Is is full of talent to a point where she commands attention and respect. A great chat with her after the interview made me lather in admiration towards her strength as a performer and individual.

Also great thanks for David Silverberg, an outstanding gentleman I met programming at Harboutfront Centre this past summer. He is the noble leader of Toronto Poetry Slam. Check this monthly event out, it will blow your mind.

Click here to read my piece on Truth Is and Toronto Poetry Slam.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Babble-On

See it's just that no matter how I tell you,, you're not going to understand what it is to be me, to strive to really be free of colonist proximity. To care so much that it can make you forget what it is that is to gain. To love so deeply in silence that it moves you to beautiful release. The thing is that I am intense, I say what's on my mind, that which lingers in the cuticle of my clipped thoughts. Why when I love does it hurt so much, is it not meant to grant you salvation? Dust away the sands of yesterday to reveal my secrets inside. I just want someone to hold me and show me that they care, that they really would tear open the skies for me. Innocent, nothing lavish or sexual, just to say I care.

Time moves forward and I wait for you. I always believe in you even when I feel no mercy is being bestowed on me by you. It's not that hard to just tell me that I exist to you in a sacred place that lives beyond the ending of happily ever after, beyond a wedding of weeping violins and a voices that lift to the corners of the room's air to fill it with sounds of the most humble offerings I have to give you. My heart with which I carry gratitude for breathing, caring, sharing, listening to your heartbeat. Falling open to knowing that with you my truth lays safe from judgments harm.

If all eyes were on me, the air still and the climax near, I would let out such a loud silence that everyone would wander what possessed voodoo in me to be so moved. It's not that I don't want to care for you, I just wonder if you too will care for me the way I do for you. All is said well and done beyond done, will you always leave me in pursuit to find a reason to run?

I can feel you, you are unusual. I have always been attracted to things that are a little off, perhaps a little deranged by being let down time and time again. Here in this moment you have chosen to listen to me say that I can't stop saying. I can't mute a feeling that wishes to be granted flow, I can't pass-up the opportunity to tell you that you thrill me, no matter how stupid and uncalled for in sporadic it may seem to you. I am reckless fool when it comes to you.

When I go home and the day is complete, my headphones call to me in serenity to remind me that I can make it through the day alone. Somehow the sound of someones voice in my ears soothes me, moves me. Try with her, cry with her and open the curtains each day to welcome her sunlight in (even on the gloomiest).

Suffering happens in silence no matter how many times it is written or reminisced. Every moment stricken with tragedy somehow manages to melt into bearable healed wax oh so poetically. I may not contemplate with suicide but death has stared me in the face with despair and gut love from me but never away from me. Somewhere love always remains dormant like my childhood dreams. I just want to be loved so much, like a giddy schoolgirl who exchanges letters with a boy who she blindly fancies that sits 5 seats to the left side.

I don't mean to be so full of energy, it is unbecoming like gas on a humid day. I just can't help myself, I want you and nobody else.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Galaxy Rest





The thrill that shakes her to move in motion is connection. The reckless nature that swirls around curls on the tips of her fingers decisions. When her hair begins to curl her mind feels more at rest to just letting go of the illusion of holding. The sun beams down on her as though a communication from another state of happiness. All is wholesome when she feels beauty surround her and the sparks of those she cares for with gentle compassion. When she clicks with others of her unusual kind she remembers that there is a reason she was made of craving for wisdom and courage and love.


The placement of the sky around the planets reflect a intergalactic relationship cherished between a heart and smile. Standing tall, hand in hand. A beautiful woman that held her heart once and a bright florescent light of the woman ahead of her now. Enticed, overjoyed she is while the water drops to welcome the sound of the universe being created and ended all at once. Still, everything is still in being set free like a wise owl that glides in hunt for its prey and freedom.

Piles of memories lay in a box, mountains exist as a test ahead of devotion and testament to believing in something our eyes cannot see. Her heart chooses not to bend, even though there are no guarantees.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Signorina Aria


Scusami signorina, I hope that you don't mind, I have been up restless all night with thoughts of the next time I can be beside you waltzing in my mind. I don't intend to come off strange, and it's not that I don't have anything to do with my time - somehow when your graceful face came across my humble gaze, something skipped a beat in my hearts-mind.

The way you move with such little regard to understanding how elegant you really are, the way your unique beauty shines though, when you still believe that you are just a little star. A supernova of worthiness to be loved lays deep within the pocket of your tender soul, so excuse me signorina, I thought I would take a minute and let you know.

I feel when you lick your lips, it places a wetness in my mind, when you shy away with insecurity it makes me want to make you mine. Wear your rare and courageous beauty, you're far stronger than you believe. Open the door towards watering the seeds of your beautiful inevitability, and risk this now moment with me to be free of captivity.

Scusami signorina, I didn't mean to stare. Forgive me if I have come on too strong with my intentions, but I just wanted to let you know that I think I could really learn to care.

Non abbiate paura di essere quello che tu sei la mia diva gentile, basta aprire il vostro cuore e lasciare che il flusso.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Toronto International Film Festival gets a "Bitch Slap!"


Well now, I will say that the review that I am about to wrote about Rick Jacobson's Bitch Slap will come from my mouth and my vagina. Yeeeee-ha, this movie leaves you feeling cunty fresh and titilistic!

Arriving to the desert in a shiny black retro beast car, three bad-ass ladies come together to steal over $200 million from merciless underworld kingpin - but naturally things don't come as simple as expected. The movie begins with a scene of slow body shots of our three bombshells coming out of a car - quickly there are lots of breasts all up in your grill. Yes, my lesbian heart grew a big black cock in that instant and I wondered what would be the state on my panties at the end of this film.

An homage to the sexploitation films of the 1960's and 1970's, Bitch Slap flashes between the main setting, a serene desert in the middle of nowhere America, and various flashback sequences that recall the story of how these vixens ended up in this place. The backdrop accessories for our desert divas are lots of heavy weaponry, priceless jewels and trashy trailer that sits vacantly without much regard.

I will admit that at one point or another I wanted to get it on with each of these sassy bitches. Hel (Erin Cummings) is the mastermind of the gang and possesses a laid-back and business attitude towards getting what she wants, Trixie (Julia Voth) is a seemingly innocent airhead and bottylicious stripper that wears a flashy golden dress in the hot desert sun, and then there is Camero (Ameríca Olivo) a roughneck lesbian who will kick the shit out of anyone that stands in her way. The combination of these ladies leads your fantasies to become a realized reality on-screen for 104 glorious minutes. An endless amount of stylized sexiness is a yummy treat. What remains to be seen is whether these women will stick together or fall apart under the pressure of this life of high balling crime.

Jacobson's film is fun and full of serious girl-on-girl carnal action, both physical and sexual. I imagine that about 2/3 of the men in the theatre popped a really hard hard-on at one point or another. Stand in attention!!

The fight sequences in the film are choreographed by action director Zoe Bell, who is the genius behind some of the bad-ass chicks in past years, including Uma Thurman's Black Mamba in Kill Bill. For me the action never gets old, this movie is a heart-racing, steamy hot - for god's sake there's a water fight scene that runs for a couple of minutes that shows these women having a gay old water fight! You will also have the chance to hear some hilarious and wicked pussy slang that's highly entertaining and worthy of cheer!

Just when you senses are on overload, there are some special guest cameos that are delightful! In the past Rick Jacobson directed over 100 episodes of both Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, so especially fans of these shows will get a kick out of what they see! See Jacobson boldly take this film where television wouldn't allow him to go. This film is a fun sigh of relief to the Toronto International Film Festival 2009 line-up.

Tits, ass, ass-whopping, sex, sex and more sex, and pussy - Bitch Slap is one hell of a good time!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Margarethe von Trotta's "Vision" at Toronto International Film Festival


I can’t express how much I enjoyed the journey that German director Margarethe von Trotta took us on in her Vision. A highly respected veteran of presenting film with a keen feminist eye, von Trotta pieces together the story of Hildegard von Bingen, a devout nun, visionary, composer and challenger of virile norms that dominated Benidictine rule and the Church’s everyday function in Medieval times.

With a keen attraction to understanding human strive and nature and balancing in with scientific discourse, set in what we now know as Germany, the story paints the story of a woman that felt she was beckoned by God to be a Messenger of light. This period was one of much social turmoil and suffering.

Vision takes place in an era when many claimed to have direct communication with God but rarely were they actually believed, particularly women. However somehow the pious and ever-confidant Hildegard manages to win the favour of many around her and is even voted as magistra when her mother magistra passes away. She excels and teaches with genuine compassion as a leader but still meets resistance in male clergymen who feel threatened by her power. Even some of her fellow nuns begin to fear her rebellious nature.

Relentless and sure of her appointment to be a messenger of God’s word, she is one of the first women to boldly preach and interpret scripture. She even bravely writes to the Pope about her visions knowing that she may be seen as a heretic.

Her accomplishments also include managing to convince an Archbishop to allow her to move her sisters to a hillside and build a convent away from Disibodenberg abbey. Hildegard’s desire to move away from the abbey is shocking but not without purpose. Tragedy strikes when one of the nuns breaks her vow of celibacy with a male clergyman and is found out and thus commits suicide. Hildegard intervenes to prevent this fate from being bestowed upon anymore of her sisters, as in the end she is aware that a woman will always be seen as the perpetuator of evil and seduction.

Hildegard suffers her entire life with weak health and loss, and she manages to overcome much devastation until one particular loss causes her to leak her true vulnerability and push her over the edge.

Babara Sukowa who plays Hildegard spoke at the Q & A following the film about how she studied the writings, song and myth of Hildegard with immense care because of the iconic statured that she has risen to in recent years to take her rightful place in German and women’s history. Her moments on-screen are always full of intensity, yet there still manages to be a peaceful aura that surrounds her gentle mannerisms and emotional rawness.

Berlin born Margarethe von Trotta’s Vision is rich in history, imagery and heart. This piece is a Toronto International Film Festival gem.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Student -Governess

Tone on tone. Silence use to cause me such grief when it was mixed with the sound of my tears rolling with thunder down my cheeks. I had once slayed my hopes by placing it into another's unsteady hand, only to realize the arthritis that was forming in the palms of my happiness kept me from raising up a fist of my hand to say enough.

I use to believe that my heart would not heal but now I know I am strong. For if I sat alone in a room and I was given a pen, I would write a tale that would be full of love with no end. I would speak of lives education that continued to teach, and me as a student who sat anxiously with my hopes to remain open to be free to goodness and discovery.

Thorns of rusted wood pencils that have scribbled my words settle around my throat and dig into my neck with pain. I flex my collar muscles to eventually and dually receive and relieve pain.

Fear is not uncontrollable, I am wild and free and whatever is ahead of me to experience in this moment, tomorrow and this lifetime will be destined for me. I use to think I was just ordinary, however now I am sure that I am spectacular through the harmony of my words that echo the tail of a girl that one day became a noble woman.

Love has breathed her kiss upon me.

Writing for Toronto International Film Festival 2009!


Hello again my pretties. I just wanted to let you know that yours truly will once again be teaming-up with the Toronto International Film Festival to cover the Canadian Films Programmes. I started working with TIFF last year and I had one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Literally for 9 days, I was eating and breathing watching films and then reviewing them.

My true passion lays with spreading arts awareness and culture, and TIFF certainly gets a unique international spotlight placed on the city of Toronto - a city that I adore for its diversity and commitment to promoting with heart all mediums of expression. So from September 10-19th catch all my reviews on the Canadian Film Progammes Blog, plus many photos and scoops on international films and other findings that will be exclusively available at The House of Provocation!!

If you wanna get to know me better, read my TIFF bio and please keep on spreading the word about T-HOP! This is where it's at, yo!

Follow LIVE UPDATES on Twitter @PROVOKEMEinc.

Monday, August 24, 2009

History Bite: Madame Tussaud

The woman behind the legacy of a massive modern empire of wax museums is a character clouded in mysteriousness and intrigue. Not many people know the fortitude that surrounded the life and times of that Marie Grosholtz or Grosholz (we better known as Marie Tussaud). Born in Strasbourg, France in 1761, Marie was raised exposed into a unique life surrounded by great art and artisans. The daughter of housemaid Anne-Marie Walder, Marie never knew her father, Joseph Grosholz, he died in the Seven Years War.

Her mother would make the first step to exposing Marie to the life of waxwork when she took on the position of housemaid for Dr. Phillipe Curtius, a skilled and valued physician in Berne, France. What is known is that Curtius took Marie in much like a daughter and as an apprentice, showing her the workshop in which he moulded remarkable wax models of humans that were then used for anatomical advancement. He quickly recognized her eagerness and natural talent in the craft.

There was certainly a curiosity among the educated classes for further understanding the human body and its functions, while there still seemed to also be a heavy regulation of one’s actual body based on a strongly implemented caste system that divided people into different Estates of value. This would only crumble after the French Revolution that began with the storming of the Bastille in 1789. In fact this bloody moment in history would also seal a fate for the demand of Marie's talent under the watchful eye of the revolutionaries.

Curtius, in 1765 decided to move to Paris and begin work on his own wax exhibition. Paris was the city of all cities at this point in European history, the arts were booming as quickly as the pockets of the rich. Curtius' work had grown in popularity through a reputation that preceded him and managed to reach the courts of France's noble families and even the notice of King Louis XVI.

Curtius' work continued to grow in reputation and in 1767 Marie joined him in Paris with great astonishment to his wide success. In fact Curtius had recently commemorated Madame du Barry, the mistress of the King of France. Curtius transition of mass appeal would again lay path for young Marie's later success, for when he opened his exhibit in 1770, and later moved it to the hub for artists on the Palais Royale in 1776, he was so well received and respected by his local performers, the everyday working-class people of France, and the highest elite. This was indeed a very transgressive expressed attitude.

Curtuis continued to sweep the nation by waxwork and his success flourished among the pushers and shakers of the time. This in turn allowed Marie access to meet some of the finest and established thinkers leading up to the French Revolution and that were prominent in bringing about this social upheaval.

The result of Cutius’ continuous appeal was a second exhibition on Boluvard du Temple in 1782. Around this time was also when Marie produced her first work, the great French writer and philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau who she personally befriended. Marie continued to dazzle her own reputation as a skilled craftswoman and also created wax figures of Voltaire and many other great figures of this time. She was even invited as an extended guest to Versailles in 1780, where for close to a decade she tutored Louis XVI’s sister, Madame Elizabeth. However, Marie’s involvement with the heightening political atmosphere was about to get complicated with the lurking overthrow of the French monarchy within vision.

In 1789 the climate was curious in France and Marie returned to Paris after a long stay at Versailles. Nobody was safe when the French Revolution erupted, Paris was flowing with blood and the guillotine was a regular monument to remind people of the consequences of going against the Revolution. The streets of Paris were filled with bodies and even Marie was to suffer an ill fate. In 1793 during The Reign of Terror Marie was without cause imprisoned alongside her mother in the notorious and rough Laforce Prison. Here she also encountered prisoner Joséphine de Beauharnais, who would become the first wife of Napoleon. A friendship and bond quickly grew among these women. Perhaps throwing Marie in prison was a strategic move on behalf of the budding powers that be, for upon her release Marie became the official death mask maker of those who were beheaded as nobles and former employees of the King and Queen – those who had once hosted her at Versailles. In effect, the idea that would become the Chamber of Horrors was born.

Marie was kept busy for the years of the French Revolution; she created death masks of some of the greatest figures of the time, including Robspierre, Marat, Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. One can say she was captive to her talent and the circumstances that surrounded France. Finally in 1794 the French Revolution ended and Marie inherited Curtius’ entire wax exhibition. Curtius died most likely by poisoning during the year past, but it is not known for sure.


Madame Tussuad

The following year Marie would marry Francois Tussaud, a non-ambitious middle-class man who somehow charmed Marie. He would cause her much agony in the years to come. Francois had little desire to make money on his own and support his family of two sons. This lead Marie to make an difficult decision, she left her youngest son behind and decided to travel with a show across the British Isles. At this point the collection had grown grand from Marie’s own hand. Marie was tireless and she traveled non-stop pushing her show around Europe to audiences of all corners. She was a sleek and intelligent business woman, she was involved in every step of her shows reveal.

Everyone of this time in England wanted to see the figures that had been part of this French Revolution that people could not stop speaking about, and Marie was much like a modern gossip reporter having been a firsthand witness and acquaintance of many of these figures. By this point Napoleon was all the buzz and Marie capitalized by creating a exhibit of him and his wife, Marie's former cellmate, Joséphine de Beauharnais. She even incorporated genuine relics that Napoleon had used into the exhibit. The public could not get enough and her show was a tremendous success.

It would be many years before Marie was re-united her with youngest son because of the circumstance that her husband rarely returned her letters, and she was not able to provide the young boy a stable home. He did however eventually join his mother and in 1835 when Madame Tussaud opened its first permanent showing on Baker St in London. Marie’s Chamber of Horrors was a continual favourite of locals and foreigners and those of all classes and pockets of society. Marie can be thought of being the proprietor of modern day popular culture in some sense-she brought everyone closer to the stars of her age.

In 1850 Madame Tussaud at the age of 88 died in London with her sons by her side. Today her exhibit is on Maryleborne Rd. but carries just the same intrigue as the woman who sculpted these masterpieces. Madame Tussaud has grown to be an international attraction and continues dazzle those who come into contact with these life-like figures of those who tell history’s tale.

EXIT HAIR SALON: Bringing Great Hair to the People


We all care about what lays up there. Yes Im speaking of hair. I had the opportunity to discuss everything you can possible want to know about our crowning glory with Rob Pizzuti, owner of fresh, funky and cutting-edge Exit Hair Salon in Toronto.


P: Can you tell me a little about your training and why you decided to enter the hair salon industry?

R: I started training when I was 14. I was always asking my dads friend about his salon and all the funny stories he had made it sound more like play than work. By the end of that summer, I not only had mastered the social skills to entertain clients but had a few requests for services. It became my part time job until I finished university. I then decided to leave my home town Windsor Ontario, and move to Toronto at the age of 21 with $500 in my pocket and free rent (thanks to my brother who lives here). That was 18 years ago and I am so glad I made the move; I have had the pleasure to train and work with the best in the industry. I have to say that most of my training though comes from years of experience of working in top salons in Toronto, LA and New York and now back home in Toronto. I love the diversity in Toronto, because you can really be yourself, no matter what that is.

P: Can you give me a brief bio of Exit Hair Salon, and the ambiance and services you offer to your clients?

R: EXIT was created in January 2004. My grandmother used to always say (in Italian): Everyone looks good going into a party, but when you can EXIT in style that's when everyone notices. Our goal is to make sure our clients always get noticed. EXIT is a place you come to relax and surround yourself with beauty. Toronto Fashion has nominated us one of the 10 best salons in Toronto 6 years in a row, continually being described as: having all the right tools without a drop of pretension. The salon is set up like a New York loft with 12-15 foot ceilings and floor to ceiling windows facing an always bustling Yonge Street. We have a living room set up for clients to relax in and enjoy a coffee and the whole salon has a secure Wi-Fi set up for those who need to keep working on laptops as there hair is being done.

EXIT is comprised of 4 colourists and 9 stylists. We offer exclusive custom blended colour that each of our colourists mix to meet the specifics needs of each guest. All of our stylists have awards and magazine covers and continue to take classes to ensure we stay on top of the latest techniques.



P: What do you believe makes Exit Hair Salon attractive enough to keep your clients coming back for more?

R: The quality of the work and the salons atmosphere are the two major reasons guests are so loyal.

All of our colour work is guaranteed. We have built a reputation of being able to fix anything from bad home colour to a not-quite-there-yet blonde. Once you have fixed someones bad hair colour, they are sure to remain loyal. Our stylists have received not only numerous awards for their work, but have graced magazine covers and have worked on celebrities. There are no junior stylists so everyone gets A-list treatment and leaves the salon looking amazing. All my team knows I refuse to have any drama or attitude in my salon. As a result, I have the luxury of having the most talented group of professionals working in a soothing and positive environment unlike any other salon in the city.

P: I know you have worked with some A-listers, can you name a few? Do you have one particular experience that stands out as cool to you?

R: Petra Nemcova- Victoria Secret Super Model, Petra is so cool! The first time we met her for Film festival she seemed like just an ordinary pretty girl. But once we finished her hair, make-up, and she slipped on her killer heels and stood up those six feet of legs screamed super model! It didn't hurt that she had an amazing personality and was such a sweetie. I have to say, I'd switch teams for her.

Other celebrities we've done are: Sarah Ferguson -The Duchess of York, Jacqueline Bissett, Nina Dobrev, and Tara Spencer Nairn.


P: Exit Hair Salon is a flagship REDKEN salon in Toronto--can you tell me a little about your relationship with REDKEN and what makes you believe that the vision of your salon is inline with the REDKENs appeal?

R: Fashion leader REDKEN asked for a sneak peek before we opened the EXIT doors on January 13th 2004. When they witnessed the salon design and the stylists that would be involved, EXIT was offered the exclusive invitation to be their 1st Canadian Flagship salon!

REDKENs leadership in providing top notch products is a result of their keen awareness of fashion, street trends and modern hair needs. EXIT strives to provide the same level of excellence in all of our work.

REDKEN Vice-President Doriane Dalati says: "This salon is a perfect blend of urban chic and sexy that REDKEN is known for. Rob and his team are inspired by beauty and understand the importance of business expertise."


P: What are clients approaching you with that seems to be hot for Summer 09? Styles? Cuts? Colours?

R: Top of the request list:

For colour:

1)High definition blonde, I can make an Asian girl look like a natural blonde.
2)Creamy tones with lots of shine. Silky strands not brittle broom whiskers-
no mo' dull faded ends. We all know that girl with highlights that starts out strong at the root, okay at eyebrow level, but disappear into bland at the mashed up ends.
3)Flaming coppers & reds. Our multi-layering technique guarantees to stop traffic.

For cuts:

1)Super girly-girl soft waves and curls that bounce (think: Giselle)
2)Hard clean angles (think: Katie Holmes, Victoria Bekham)


P: What attracts you to hire a colourist and stylist as part of your team?

R: Level of education and experience, an ability to work well on the team and you must be able to fit the salons positive and no drama vibe.


P: Has Exit Hair Salon participated in any recent fashion shoots and/or competitions? If so, how did they go, and is there a place where we can see your work?

R: I was recently asked to compete for the first ever Master Colourist Award at the Contessas- Canadian Hairstyling Awards. Its a real honor to have been invited to submit my work as the award is open only to those who are nominated as possible recipients based on various criteria such as the level and quality of work, years in the industry and being a recipient of previous awards. As such, my team will also be competing in this years awards in various other categories, as well. We recently have completed the photo shoot and are geared to send our submissions for consideration at the end of the summer!

The best place to see our work is to check out the website: www.exitsalon.com. We constantly update the site and have photos, magazine work all our services and EXIT News Updates.

This year, for the 6th year in a row, we've been nominated by Toronto Fashion as one of Toronto's 10 best salons. We've also been featured in ELLE Canada Magazine, Hello! Canada, Faze Teen, In Touch, Flare and Eye Candy for 2009.


P: What motivates you to keep coming back each day to the salon? What is in your future and what's next for Exit Hair Salon?

R: I still have fun at work. Not many adults can say that.

I really enjoy the fact that guest comes in and look and feel better after we are done. I really like and respect my team and the fact that we work together and help each other out. Its funny when someone asks me about the teams rules.. I don't have many but I really enforce the few I have. The important rules for my team are saying good morning and good night to each other -every day. Do your best work and ask for help when you need it, and remember that we work with the best in the industry, there is NO room for attitude, just good work.

I hope to expand with my dear friend Marc one day. He is a very well known plastic surgeon (Visage Clinic) and we both share the need for perfection. I think we could open a beauty institute for one shop glam make overs from head to toe.


P: What era represents your favorite hair styles and do you pull influence from any particular time in history?

R: This is a toss up I love the fact that in the 80s (don't boo yet!!). Boys were encouraged to do there hair and search out the stores for the strongest hairspray a la cure coif.

But I have to say my all time favorites were the severe angles that Vidal Sassoon gave the world. I have been strictly a Colourist for 12 years and you can have a lot of fun with colour when you have strong lines and a great base to start with.


P: What is good hair?!!!!!!!


R: Good Hair makes you look like the best version of yourself in 20 min flat. That's all it should take in the morning when its cut right.

Good Colour Hair- Shines and reflects light, even if your born with the blackest ruffed up nest and you want to be golden smooth. Its got to be shiny, soft and reflective. If you cant do that now, its time to go to another salon.



I highly recommend visiting Rob and his talented team at the Exit Hair Salon, I'm confident you'll walk away feeling sexy, sophisticated and strong. Located at 1360 Yonge St just south of St.Clair, its worth a trip uptown to take in the serene ambiance and interact with the friendly staff.

It seems great hair is always a prime way to feel shiny and new, no matter the season or the trend. Mold and create a fresh new look for yourself with the help of some insightful professionals at Exit Hair Salon, they are willing to offer you advice and work with your overall style vision. Now is the time for you to dazzle those around you!

Also join the Exit Salon Facebook group and you will receive a 20% discount and free product when you book your first appointment!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Fall to Grace


At Peace with the Universe, Lee Claremont

I got a feeling that I am blessed more than I can ever imagine. I feel that if I laid down all my fears of what will happen I could focus a little more on what is happening. It is all happening to me now. Every moment I have put into the field of magnetic spiritualism often called god is coming back to bring me more rapture and possession of ecstasy. I am boundless, I am limitless, I am open to charting the course of my own ebb and flow. I can love without hesitation, I can leave this place without regret. I won't look back in anger because this is my timeless, my reckless paradise.

Friday, August 14, 2009

My Latest in Xtra: The Queerest Dyke


Hello my friends, please find here my latest piece in Xtra. I would like each one of us to realize how special we are just the way we are. One Love. Xxo

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Eternal Sanctuary

My emotions willingly reveal the certainty of being touched. Silent in the ears of the pale interpreter my feelings steadily drift like identity, from diaspora to diaspora. All too often my desires are pressed and interpreted like my words. Each time I feel, each time I speak, I am purposely misunderstood.
When I was young I spent too much time flirting frustration with the teasing adolescent hope of finding a reflection of myself in others; with seeking people that understood where I came from and that would openly invite me to be a guest in their homes. I was young and foolish then. Now stronger, wiser and riper, I am aware that we create ghettos in the concaves of our own minds, and that an ignorant state of grace is result of a controlled environment where uniqueness is not thought of as great.
To me the temple of my body, each curve of my delicate yet stern brown skin represents a colonial fight for survival, a refusal of submittal towards being both what my parents were in Africa, what I was in England and what the oligarchies of pressure want my colours to washout into in Canada today. I am a wild and humble country withstanding and free.
I am my own master and my own citizen, and through my deviant and empowered sexuality I will continue to harvests my ancestor’s refusal to yield to another’s push and shove. I will not conform to the vulnerable position of a calf down on her knees, or hold a trigger to my own head from fear of persecution or another’s homophobic mislead. I live evasive of social and cultural captivity by escaping both gay and straight confines of sexual tyranny. They may choose to make me a spectacle, they may choose to not see me at all, but I am here to haunt awareness and make you have no choice but to acknowledge me, no matter how small the spotlight may be.
I won’t accept conforming to be a ventriloquist so that I can manufacture myself as a coward that fears the aptitude of my power as a creator, preserver and destroyer. You see my body aligned with my mind is where I find my thoughts unwind. All the scars I wear from lovers past (though they may look unattractive to others,) I trace proudly as reminders of the fortitude I possesses to birth infinite love for women who inspire me to release beauty. Women to me are such insatiable creatures of elegance and embrace that to not fall blindly in love with them would make me go insane like a damsel in distress of stress.
Dreaming of having this mysterious, unseen woman by my side is the reason why I continue to pray for her to take her throne at my side. An epic love between two women is hard to disguise, for like any love that is love pure and true, devotion is the reason that you humble yourself to make her the place you call a home. When your bodies collide underneath the veil of moonlight, the strike of undying passion unfolds that would strike ordinary metal into rich gold.
To feel exiled from the woman that dwells deep inside your soul is as violent an experience as being ripped away from my native home. I would be displaced, shamed, broken and blue without possessions or religion to turn too with hopes to pull through. Like Krishna without his Radha, the surface of my body cannot be inhibited as a home without the devotion of the woman I love to call my own.
Again and again I am able to see that my homeland is not only where I comes from, but where I wish to plant the seeds of my dreams and cultivate the growth of my spirituality. My homeland is her arms wrapped around my body at night, her head tucked into my chest and the feeling that everything is going to be alright.
From the niche of a cloudy yet protective tree top, my existential soul continues its journey by forming a ribbon of free and vibrant sentimentality. The ribbon of colour it expels is suspended at times through criticism, yet somehow my soul manages to need no reason or rhyme to find a way through the crescendo of seasons that change, or the constant propaganda of discrimination that if swallowed will covert love to pain. I will peacefully fight for my homeland to develop religion until the end of time.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Storiaolas

Jingling in her pocket was a sound. It sounded like any wealth that you would think would be of value. She was working hard for every moment that she was able to enjoy. He sat before her and thought of all that she was. She sat and wondered what it was that he lacked in his drive. She always felt that he would never get what he needed from her in an magnificent instant-illusion was love. He touched himself and thought of how hard she was. Vulnerable to the settling she wandered through his dreams to glance at how she really was, not how she was perceived. She talked, he looked and smiled. She waved her hands in a motion that avoided letting him know how lost he was for being by her side.

It had the motion of stillness within the sound of a whip of a belt across your own withered skin. Something had brought ever second past to this moment. Nothing in the future seemed like it had a reason to live in the past.

Blue was jealous of everything that red had. Red was intense, sexy and full of energy and fire. Blue always knew that being calm would be thought of serene and never barbaric and if this was the case, how was Blue going to ever leave the realm of being Green with envy? What a shame that Purple knew and told Yellow not to gossip with Green, it was between them. Yellow did and hid behind Gold.

A step down reaches up to a place where you will find him at the door. He is small in appearance but don't be fooled. Behind his pony appearance is a stallion. Behind his beard there is a glow of something that makes him seem mystical underneath it all. He can travel in time and space by simply wishing it to be. He feels everything in his gut through sensing the familiar unwanted. He may seem small, as I told you, but you musn't be fooled to think that you can defeat him. The light seems to fall on his shadow like he is some sort of angel floating through without ever being understood.

2 orange earings, hoops of considerable size-perhaps three inches. Glasses on the tip of her nose that allow her to hide away from the ones she rejects- she refuses to contribute to her cannibalism. Blood was some sort of attractive romanticism. In paintings it seemed noble, in books it seemed desperate with such sweet anguish. Queen. Leader. Temptation had led her to a place where she questioned anything she knew. Somehow the orange earings always felt right pressed against her neck falling from side to side. It may seem silly and materialistic but they were destined to be worn by her and seen to her.

Fin.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Global Singularity

Linking our hands apart, when I look back to ask for help I realize that you have let me go. Falling from a state of grace, I seek for you to lift my abandoned faith and instead I sink into purgatory’s tormenting disgrace. When I cry for mercy all I can hear is the echo of my own pain. Why don’t you care for me when all I do is try and love with humility? Do I ask for more than I deserve or embrace with greed as my fatalistic seduction? Through the seed of my growth I fight to find stillness with the hope that someday peace will come along. I wish you could give me little peace of mind, notice me malnourished, parched and broken on the sidewalks like rubbish in a stale slum.
When I was hungry you did not feed me from the plate before you that was ripened red and abundant with greens. When I was thirsty you did not share from your white river, instead you claimed it as your source of black flow. Why did you not care for me when I needed you, when I begged you to help me? Did you not see that I had been brought in shame to bend down on my knees and plead for humanity?
When will this suffering ever end, or will the world refuse to see that I bow down and ask for amends from this hideous pain?

Remembering Micheal Jackson



Micheal Jackson, regardless of what your judgments maybe, was a man with a golden heart that shared the vision of togetherness, diversity and love. They say become the change you want to see, let him remind us of the light we all have within ourselves - never fear, only love.

My favourite song of his is "Will You Be There," and everytime I hear it I cry. There can be no illusion when beauty comes from within. Rest in peace, you are now free to rise again as a new kind of King.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

O Canada


Privilege is often taken for granted, the ones we cannot see fall from our vantage. We celebrate freedoms bells, yet so many are left in captivity without ever escaping the scolding neglect that maintains a state of hell outside the dampening shield of our country's safe spell. Our home and native land is a cradle that rocks us sound asleep, we are lucky to be free. Now it is time for us to raise our hands towards a universal freedom that is sustainable and true. I am a Messenger and my divine right is that of a moral with a tale to tell, of growing-up in a place that allowed me to be myself.

Fear not that which you lose, fear that which was given to you as an advantage of gain and you let slip away for fear of helping the world to change. Joy is fictitious if it causes another pain. We are free to open our mouth and clap our hands when we are offended in our nation. When we wish to celebrate we march in masses, we drink wine and dine, yet globally somehow mostly fluctuating politics resounds with little actual progress towards making the world, our world a better place. I don’t take my privilege for granted because I am not afraid of what the outside has made me on the inside-it has not and shall not break the heart of me.

I would rather be lonely with my thoughts than surrounded by distorted fake smiles that pat my ego and tell me that I am beautiful like everyone else. I will always cry when I see a baby die on the news, or a mothers pain linger from abuse. People are disadvantaged because of the greed that most of the world has encouraged with no sense of shame. My fellow Canadians, it is time for change!

Give someone foreign a sliver of hope for a brighter day, volunteer, contribute even if you can't sit beside someone and help them physically lay a burden down. Compassion is still a way to show eachother we are all one in the same.

We are free today in Canada, we are open towards finding our way through the endless roads of rural landscapes, sliding up the mountain caps full of snow. Be proud to be Canadian but also be proud to be a human like everyone else. We don't deserve any better than our neighbouring nations but we do have it better. We are lucky that we have a country that cares for us, so let us now show the world that we care for them.

Without religion, I say amen.

"Little Bird": Annie Lennox

One of my continual greatest inspiration, Ms.Annie Lennox. This is one of my fave inspirational songs.

Monday, June 29, 2009

New Madonna Louis Vuitton 2009



Too airbushed? I think it is a cool picture, but a little over edited...your thoughts?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Benevolent Shame

They say that time heals everything but I don’t think it’s completely true. When I think of you I maybe okay from the day-to-day, but when I see you somehow my heart still manages to fall apart with just one look from your magnetic gray eyes. Seeing you, remembering myself within a moment past looking at you, and in that instant seeing everything I thought I needed before my eyes.


I know I will never forget you because I would never want too. I carry a piece of you within me though it is mostly buried down low, like a sunken treasure sacredly hidden from being found by hands of those who want to examine it, disseminate it, disgrace it from the place where it should lay in eternal peace. The heart does not grow cold of you, nor does it forget that no matter how I may have risen in turbulence from the pressure that ripped my wings apart, tattoos are forever once they’ve been inked on the heart.

If you felt hurt I would reach out for you, if you lost someone you loved, I would mourn for you. If you went away, I would miss you.

That’s the thing about love, it doesn’t make sense in my mind but it stirs my sadistic, hedonistic heart. Keeping faith in knowing that you are loved is always important to me, not dwelling on the past and thinking of what a lamb you made of me. Pain, suffering, isolation, spasms of an erratic mind, I would never take back the sadness you caused me when you said goodbye, for without goodbye there would have never been a hello between you and I. You are still as beautiful as I remember you, like each day when I would raise the world by your side, with the sun shining through the window and look at you open your wild eyes.

I see you standing there across the room. I know you are no longer my lover or my friend, that there is a new woman in your life that makes you happy, that you and I have both moved on. Somehow I can’t help but sink a little into a shade of blue when we must once again part. I am a fool, I just want to be around you for every moment I can before we go back to black.

I finally had the chance to say goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, with you in my heart I’ll stand by my love.

Lizzy the Lezzy on Toys, Life and Being a Lezzy



Lizzy and I are pals on Twitter now. We love to share conversations about our love of munching muff!!! I adore Lizzy.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Latest in Xtra: Re-thinking Queer Female Space


This article means a lot to me and my overall fight for equality within the queer community. Please take a moment to read it and share any feedback that you may have.

One love.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Frida Kahlo's Portrait of Self


"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best." -F.K.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

F*I*G*H*T


What is it that drives people to pursue a certain path? Do we choose where we want to go or do we go where we are needed? It is of no mystery that our world consists of unrest for many reason. The cries of injustice ring for an array of pleads, change is the only binding voice oceans apart.
I urge you to say what you want with such clarity that there is no room for misinterpretation to an ear that is listening. Listen up.
Missiles in Indian and North Korean skies are equally in blame for irresponsibility to the world, but our hesitations to say enough concerns me even more. How can you blame someone when you're all guilty of not caring enough? Why wait, stop what hurts now, isn't that logic? Don't tell me it's a delicate situation--so is a body under siege. The Middle East is a great antique culture based on marvelous ambition and experimenting to understand human function, like all memorable cultures. Innocents are always attacked by slothful greed and cybernetic internal strife amongst the privileged.
Fanatical justification of careless actions is a messy global aftermath. This is how far we have let it get. Why do we have bodies of government, people with words, eyes, a cause to claim that we are a human race if we don't act like humans ourselves? I know there has been the most gruesome torture and suffering on our skin left by our own blackening marks.
Take action to follow hope. Move forward knowing that you have a reason why. March to the beat before it hits the drum. Don't give up it's time to fight for the right reasons.

Harbourfront Centre World Routes 2009


Want good times that won't burn your wallet? Harbourfront World Routes 2009.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

CP24.com Pride 2009


Hey kids! Yours truly is featured in response to the question, "what is Pride to you?" on CP24.com. Check my flow, yo!

Tell me, what is Pride to you? I would love to know! HOLLABACK! Happy Pride to all my girls and boys, one love! Xxo

Monday, June 1, 2009

Play with my Twitter?!!


Ladies and gentleman, ThunderpussGeisha has landed on the word world of Twitter!

Find me on Twitter as PROVOKEMEinc and get an insight into my heart and mind on the daily. I dare you to follow me...

My Accessories and Me, Sweet Harmony


I wanted to share my article on Paper Doll Girl on my intimate relationship, with my accessories. Find the above picture in the section entitled Fashion 101 with my latest contribution towards understanding my fashion and what fashion is to me!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Light my Fire


I watch her lips move as if from every word she spoke, a drip of my desire falls down the side of her soft cheek. I try to concentrate but I am taken by her natural beauty. I have a hard time trying to deny that everytime she looks at me, my stomach repeats the pattern of feeling a burst of wild butterflies escaping freely. I am picturing her dancing naked in a ring of fire. I'm burning up and I like it, each and every burn. I hesitate on my words...usually I'm the master of my own tongue. She has me tongue tied, twisted like a devoted servant is to a wicked master. I try to go back to my work but in my mind thoughts of her run like a diesel engine pumping in and out, releasing steam. What a beautiful release she has given me.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

New Jack Playback: Jade: "Don't Walk Away"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! This is one of my fave songs! I remember when this song came out, I had gone back to to UK for a visit. I came back obsessed with this song and Gabrielle's "Dreams" HOLLER!!

Dating Smart & Not Falling Apart


To date or to not date, that is the question?

Dating can be a very stressful process if you take it too seriously. Often it seems that people overshadow the experience of having fun and meeting new people by becoming consumed by the notion of finding 'the one' to fill the void.

Let's face it, we all have to kiss many beasts before we find true beauty. The important thing to remember when dating is that you have the power to choose! If you begin to notice things that irritate you or turn you off of someone, I suggest you don't waste your time. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't allow dating to become a frustrating process. Dating is all about YOU having fun, learning more about what you desire and find attractive in a companion.

Don't get discouraged by the amount of schmuks you'll meet on the journey who'll make you wanna rip your hair out! Keep faith and have fun! As Madonna says 'don't go for second best, put your love to the test!' Keep a positive attitude and remember that you need to find someone worthy of your love and attention.

Monday, May 11, 2009

South Asian Heritage Month Open Mic @ Buddies in Badtime Theatre


Yo all!

Yours truly, alongside Toronto's finest East Indian talent will be coming together to make your mind feel like a fresh cup of chai. The last installment was a great success at the Toronto Womans Bookstore, so come get your freaky think on!!

Xxo

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

P!nk: "Sober" live on Australian Idol



I love me some P!nk!! She is the sexiest tom boy in the universe!!! It also helps that she can rip the roof off with that firey Aries voice -- SING!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Paranormal State & Signs from Beyond

So my latest TV obsession is Paranormal State. For those who are skeptics, those of you who are non-believers, if this show doesn't change your perception then nothing will. I have always believed in ghosts, I have seen possession with my own eyes and heard stories from my friends about being haunted, these vary from regularly to sightings.


Possession is a unique circumstance and once you have seen it, it is hard to forget it. I think those who are pious and pure in vessel are the most susceptible to channel this kind of a force within themselves, willingly or unwillingly.

I think the misconception about ghosts is that they are evil and out to harm, when in fact they are just attached to the idea of being alive, or being around those who are sill alive. While evil does exist in life, it also does in death. I do think that when you die, your spirit stays within the carnation of what it was when you last lived; if you were evil, your spirit will also linger in evil. For whatever the reasons are, some spirits don't cross-over, whether they feel protective of their previous homes, or they feel connected to someone that is currently residing there.

I think it is to narrow-minded to rule out that your spirit doesn't have carnation beyond death. If you have faith and hope in change, I think it's feasible that you accept that forces that are larger than us, or that we can't see with our eyes can exist.

I also believe in demons, much like we battle our own demons on a personal level, I think that non-tangible demons are a creation of thousands of years of history and an accumulation of negative acts, thoughts, beliefs and manifestations across cultures. Demons show themselves in the manner of being aware of what you fear, much like being aware of our insecurities. More often than not, religion and religious iconography challenge these forces because they represent the faith of the living. Thus religiously sanctioned practitioners and emblems of faith challenge these demonic existences. Whether you are Christian, Hindu or Chinese, all cultures use the faith of their religious or spiritual practitioners to challenge the unseen forces of evil.

I leave you with an episode of Paranormal State that deals with demonic possession, and even leads into a full exorcism. If this catches your attention, you will be interested to know that there is a Return of Six episode that follows. Remember that believing does not always mean seeing.