We fear that which we can not comprehend, grasp or hold onto. I myself have in the past few months struggled with the loneliness of immediate loss. When you have something before you that you know you desire to care for with tenderness and attention, it is difficult to let it go.
But you can not hold that which is not yours to care for. Freedom is a trick, for it can be marginalized to the idea of whoever lands on your dick, a quick fix. In a world in which many seek to no longer find a means of connection beyond the realms of their everyday, I sit and ponder the lessons that I am meant to see beyond the hesitation of feeling alone, without anyone to hold.
We must be strong to endure the suffering that we feel, when neglect is a unmeasurable element that will always unravel and peel. Falling from grace by no means says that you are not worthy of love, life and happiness. Your fight is in the ability to maintain, stay true to the path that is destined for your train. Be wise my sisters, be wise. Hold onto yourself tight in the darkness of the night.
Impact others for they will never forget the way you made them feel. Those you care for can go astray, choose other avenues to occupy themselves and satisfy their cravings. But the only thing that you can stand firm in tending to is the energy you feed to others. If you know that you have left your mark with a good heart, you can look forward again to a brand new start. If you no longer feel healthy at the thought of something, let it go. It is a pollution to your soul and the only means to get control of it is to really let it go. Freedom is an illusion of the body, but not of the mind. Regulation into robotic nature is not my peace of mind.
The School of Athens, Raphael
I can see the world reveal itself to me with the palm of my small, soft hands and though I am scared I must realize there is so much more for me to understand. I know now that which I want, that which makes me feel alive. I no longer wish to sit an ponder about failed endeavours or the man undercover, who dashed away from being my brother.
Fear is controllable, for if you know that you deserve happiness it will always be yours. Enjoy and live, remember those who have brushed the heart of your soul and remember that once you leave, your legacy will be away from that which you sold.
Be as you are, allow yourself the time to heal but do not take for granted that you are alive. Do not lean on anything but your own dreams to support the way. Feel through each moment and be thankful everyday.
That which is meant to be will come back to you, even if it now evades you. Never forget the possibilities that are ahead. Life is not a journey if you do not allow it to converse with you, educate you, trip you along the way. You must always find a way back to the confidence that allows life to show you the way towards brighter days. Never forget to understand that with privilege we are all blessed all the time.