No one has ever fooled me more than I have fooled myself. I have ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach and hopefully formed a smile on my face. I have faithfully meditated that if I omit good intentions, things would go my way. I have quietly faced my fear in moments I knew that things were not right and eventually, it came out as insecurity and an emotional explosion unfair to those facing me. Who better to make me happy than myself. I know that I know about my needs and limitations best. I have been willingly lured by the temptation of a lovers touch at night, an ear to confide and the vulnerability of revealing my insides. What has always driven me is my need to love and share the beauty I have found inside my heart. But what happens when it all falls apart on the outside, and the plan goes astray from the hopes in-store? Each day I know something more then I ever did before. Now if only I can quiet my mind and believe in that one day the woman I seek to accept me in all my sensitivities will come my way. Until then I will trust the process and do my best to positively share my story. There is no glory in being ashamed of being this way. I'm doing my best.