Wednesday, August 8, 2012

TO BE REAL

I have always been such a love fool. Loving love is my game. I am so in awe of the power of love and I feel it is the emotion that has brought the best from me. I have love in my life as my motivation. I feel so committed to love. Sometimes I do get lost and be mean, but I swear on my Mother, I love with my whole heart. Though sometimes love does hurt me in a formula of insomnia accompanied by staring at the ceiling all night, more desperate than a child in need of love. The revolting feel of hell in your stomach that would make you ask for mercy and makes you weep like death. Or lay in silence paralyzed by sadness and fear. Pain. How can pain hurt so much?

Step past love to truth, a wise friend once told me. Both need to connect to be real I say. My meditation: Good grant me the strength to live my truth. Why does the truth hurt so much? Why is love worth so much?

Allow me to love you as you compel me. I am willingly under your spell. I think Love is MY Disease, like Alicia said.


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