Monday, August 27, 2012

Solo Session

I place my hands over my heart as to heal me. I live inside me. I feel myself in me. Me. Mama said it is my gift - to feel so much love. Some days I think it's more love and also a condition of love. A state of being accepting to truth, period. Swallowing. Obsessing. Thinking. Feeling. Try to attract the energy of healing even when you're hurting. Healing can be communally beneficial for every human being. Speck of dust. Particle of light.

Ever have a moment where you wonder if your words are meaning anything. Wonder if half the dense people you see know what you are talking about? Can I get an amen? Halal? Cow? God(s)? Fuck?

Wonder if my booty will always be this way. I hope so, it really is an asset. Tempers become shorter with age. When you dense, you have no sense. That is common sense. Why don't you see me anymore? Feline.

"Love is life, and life is free
Take a ride on life with me
Free your mind and find your way
There will be a brighter day " - Badu
Words and I are homies. I like to express myself like Madonna Vogueing with Willli Ninja, at a 1990's NYC fierce ball! How utterly gay amazing. I feel. I have a condition! I am pretty much a 31 year old queer creature with Baduism up in her grill, ready to rock the mic. Sometimes I get so attached to what I love it does me no good. I am ready to rise with growth. Thank god I can get high with Mary and her green vapours. Gets my mind off high love for just a moment.

Someday see me caught between oceans swimming like a little crab named Determined. Look up to the sky and I will be there smiling. My skin is brown. Mama said my heart never dies. Beats on and on, even when I say enough.

Special people change. Sometimes you have to catch up to the change after it happens. Deer in the headlights. Put down the gun. Ever wonder if loving is just being alive? You and I will live and die so many times - why oh why? Worse with age as hearts never fully heal. Child you will rise. You are stronger than forsaken. Music heals. Love heals. Art heals. You must not hold on to all those bags. They will give you a winged scapula. Mash up your shoulder again and be walking looking like a brown version of the booing witch in Princess Bride. "Queen of Rubbish!" Mole and all. Like a faded, broken bird limping.

Puff. Exhale. I know it hurts so bad inside. Even if you stopped breathing it's not yours to control. "Let it Flow" just like Toni said. "Don't Let Go" like En Vogue. But you have to let go of what was not yours in the first place.

Babygirl I can't wait to kiss your lips. I will anticipate you  by writing love poetry with red wine in a stemless style glass. Give you everything, oh everything cause you feel so damn good baby. Don't stop. Words are my soul - I am giving you a piece of my soul. Don't be cruel to me, ok? I will make love to you all night long, I can't wait. Over and over. I can't hold back.

I can't carry your shit. I got my own. Decide. Stay clever. Left or right? Tomorrow everything could be gone. Believe. You will have so many burdens to carry you must let go eventually. Scars revealed. Be strong, others may need your strength.

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