Sunday, May 25, 2008

Thorn in My Side

It seems that I have learned everything but learning to take my own advice.
And patience. I still have none.

It seems for some reason when a woman passes me by that is as lovely and striking as you, I loose all control. I can't wait. I can't seem to see past the image of her immediate and potential beauty to really see, if the day after tomorrow she will be consistent with me. Really appreciate me for being me; full of love and such insecurity about being set free.

I listen to the way she express herself, the way she takes in the reckless words that she inspire me to say. I just can't hold them in.

She says: "Hang on. All this that I like, it is too much. This is too real, this is not the right time. I don't have time. God you are unlike anyone I have met before. You are so pure and true. I think I could find myself falling for you."

I always have time for her. I'm down on my knees, take me there.

I am a golden feather in the wind. Watch me fly through the magnetic waves of clouds, high above the coolness of the rain and into the eternal sunshine of inspiration.

I often get jammed in between the tips of her fingers. I know I must be able to float, for love is life and life is free. So why do I allow her to hold on to me if it is not at all benefiting me? Perhaps I should be more selective about whether I should let her catch me, or even feel the heat of me against her tender skin.

Me: "I fantasize about caressing her with the yearning of my hungry mind. Body to body. Sigh to sigh."

I have never made her work for me, the way in which I was willing to work for her. If I could just get over this hump I would most certainly see, that I am worthy of being the subject of her pure affection. I deserve more than just momentary attention.

I am the power behind her movements on the floor, the energy that moves the pick to strike her guitar. The protection of clothes that cover her back.

But it seems that lonely just won't leave me alone.
Some days I wonder why I have to be cursed to love her as much as I do. I just can't seem to help myself. She is everywhere I have, am and will be.
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