|"My Birth" Frida Kahlo, 1932|
The twists and turns of the untold had led her down this road in solitude. Though the path was not charted, something in her had changed. She was never to be as she was before, the same. All the emotions that she thought were her divine, she had now come to realize could limit her to living in the ego of her mind. Silence had become so much more powerful than the pain, love brighter than mourning or shame. Superficial worth had revealed itself to be limiting -all the material things could never equal the growth that she still needed to become more aware of the universe within. All the pretty clothing and accessories could easily be stripped away and she now understood it was the sentiment of memories and current possibilities that made it worth all the gain. How could someone truly care for her if she did not care for herself with the precise light she shown externally bright. She knew the feeling that had never let her down: love. She saw it in the tenderness of a mother holding her child's hand, in moments of laughter between friends. She knew her wings would not fail her if she would just become braver in seeing that everything was as it should be and now was her time to love herself. No person, no possession, no thought was hers to have. In fact the more she accepted that all she could do is continue to be herself, she realized that the power to succeed and create was in her own chest, no longer needing the affirmation of a lover to peacefully rest. To all the disappointment she whispered 'now it is is time to go.' She tried each day to discipline herself to see life as a present state of mind. Another day, a new day presenting her the opportunity to see herself moving through it all. Her heart urged her not to lose dignity, to believe in brighter days and new ways. She thought she was all grown-up and that what she knew was truthful, but only through moments of quiet meditation she came to realize she was not right. She had so much more to know, the seed inside herself was planted to continuously grow.