Wednesday, April 9, 2008

We Need a Marital Revolution!

mar·riage [ márrij ] (plural mar·riages)

1. legal relationship between spouses: a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners
2. specific marriage relationship: a married relationship between two people, or a somebody's relationship with his or her spouse They have a happy marriage.
3. joining in wedlock: the joining together in wedlock of two people
4. marriage ceremony: the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock
5. union of two things: a close union, blend, or mixture of two things Civilization is based on the marriage of tradition and innovation.

Is the idea of marriage outdated? Historically one can see that marriage was used more as a bridging of familial lineage and the creation of a nuclear family in which a woman’s primary role was to procreate and carry on the lineage on the male line. Rarely do we think of love when we think of marriage, now and then.

As in any culture of the past, today we battle with the idea as to the relevance of marriage in our times. Some argue that monogamy is not a human virtue, citing example of the animal kingdom in which we often see a philandering of sexual relations among various species. Modernity can be viewed and deemed as the epitome of human freedom as we now possess the resources to be able to communicate quicker, create larger and faster and also access other cultures and communities without very much trouble. However just because we claim to have advanced technically, does it mean that we have enhanced physically, mentally or spiritually? Or do we even have the desire to grow?

I do not think so in the least. In fact I argue quite the opposite using marriage as an example to my theory. I think that though the traditional model of marriage was about the matrimony of two households, with the hopes of maintaining a hub of familial virtue based on merging two families through religion, social standing and finances. We now have the ability to go back to the core message of what the entwining of two people should really stand for, the ability to be gratefully satisfied (of course the correct person must be sought and found) without the gluttony of greed to look beyond the chambers of your shared bed for sexual fulfillment (again you must feel satisfied). I know that I may sound like a traditionalist at heart and I suppose I am, but I do not see this as impossible. Sex is sex and everyone is entitled to go get their own. But what I wonder about is whether we have actually regressed the idea of being able to see through a difficult time with our commitment to another through this so-called union because we are primarily concerned about keeping our hands clean from holding a responsibility to anyone but ourselves.

We focus on our own growth personally, professionally and sexually and this is only fare to understanding our desires, educations and attractions. Carnality is preached as a sin today, as it is was in the past, but you don’t see people worried about cheating or their spouses, do we? Religion aside this is about discipline and control.

So what happens to the identity of a traditionalist like me who can see an attractive light through the institution of a marriage? I am not talking about the prenuptial agreement, or even the signed marriage document. I am referring to my desire to make it with someone who challenges me everyday and that I am infinity happy to have enhance my life to look beyond my own desires, educations and attractions to create a greater energy together. Unity has never been a sin, neither harmony an unappealing sound. Distancing yourself from your lover should make you appreciate them more, not want to go out and find something to fill the void of sexual desire. If you are creeping chances are that you have not found the correct person for you. That is if you wish to seek one person to be with in the first place.

I believe that if two energies can come together with the honesty of truly caring for eachother in love and with the enthusiasm of seeing one-another grow to their highest potential, than there is no negative cogitation to the notion of marriage. Call me a romantic, but someone needs to be. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that is what I have been taught. Sometimes you just need to sort through all the social and mental control that institutionalization tries to pressure us into believing and ultimately "failing." If one continues to view marriage as a binding oligarchic platform to simply control the physical and mental freedom of another, than the ultimate definition has been manipulated as deeply as the teachings of early religion. Physical discipline seems to be a harder challenge today then mental control. We all make choices about who we are through our actions so why step into the idea of a binding relationship if you yourself do not value its meaning or are not willing to control yourself? I am not trying to be judgmental for everyone is entitled to their own enjoyments and make their choices but I wonder if there is anything that anyone holds onto beyond tangible reach? Set those marriage licenses on fire and make this about burning love.
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