I am restless, yet focused. My energy is searching for a place to rest quietly and safely. Away from all this pain and sadness. I wipe my tears and tell myself that this is all a journey of understanding. I fill myself with memories that remind me of what happiness was. I was young then.
When I had not yet been wounded from being too strong. When I had not lost, or had to let go of anything that was of value to me. A time when I had not yet been faced with saying goodbye to someone I love.
Reality is too real sometimes. We all must come undone. Will you be capable of looking back and understanding why all this grief and happiness etched out your course?
I will pray with the utmost faith in mind, to find a place where I belong. I lay hope in the belief that one day, I will find a lover to call my own. She, in all her beauty, will not fear my power, or runaway from my desires or dreams. Together, we will be one powerful entity. I dream of being held in my lovers captivity willingly, and so hold her back. We will spend our dreams together, hold eachother ever so close, kiss with passionate admiration and love with eternal respect.
I lay hope in the belief that one day, I will have children that will stand by my side and hold my hand, when I feel weak in body. That my children will always remember me, no matter where they are or where they go. They will carry a piece of my soul always.
Everything must come full circle.
With my brothers and sisters at my side, I will find my way. I am going to leave this place, where so often people find solace in disorderly nature.
I want to be different. I want to be like her.
Peace can only come to those who understand the nature of suffering. Suffering makes you humble to the pain of others and the power you have in giving. Death reminds us that life is too short. If you want to leave an immortal impact, you must not waste time through hesitation.
We must take control of our destinies. We are the masters of our own happiness and accomplishments.
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