Blasphomous, Yet FUN, Children's Religious Games (0:

So I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today. This got me thinking...what fun games could I make to teach our children, who are our future, the diversity of what various religious icons can teach us. After some thought, I decided what is a better methodology beside interactive games! Be the coolest parent in town! Here is what I came up with:

1) “Pin the Trunk on Ganesha”

Don't mess, this is one serious elephant! One of the most worshipped deities in Hinduism, Ganesha is widely worshipped as the Remover of Obstacles. Don’t make him trunk slap your ass!! So why not have your children help Ganesha defend humankind, through reuniting him with his weapon of choice…his trunk! Also the god of intellect and wisdom, but again, what would he be without his writing trunk. Teach those lil ones about the funny Indians and their even funnier animal gods!

2) “Mary Magdalene Piñata”

She is my most favourite whore, so why not give her some love beats. Deter your children from becoming hoodrats, husslers and skanks. From out the M & M piñata, there will fall an array of sins to remind our lovely children, to stay on a pious path! Do you want to end up being a second-class citizen…no! Fucking slut. (my exploitation of M & M, does not by any means reflect my historical perception of her…she is my boo).

3) “Musical Allah Chairs”

Nothing you say, can take me away from MY GOD! Hail this monotheistic icon! The last chair that is habited by the rear end of a child, proves them as the one “child of God.” This chosen child will be rewarded, with his/her own copy of the Qur’an! The other children will be taught that unless you believe in the power of Allah, they will never find a salvation seat in their lifetime. Next! Beyond gender, beyond pluralism, the truth is in Allah-Allah-Allah, ey ey!

Then, end the party with some….

4) Buddha Cake

What can this humble, jolly man teach our children, you ask? Why, that obesity is something that the Asians stated! Fast food is clearly not the problem in America. This man lived thousands of years ago and he is to be blamed for making fat trendy in modernity! If he were so learned, he would have been enlightened to stop eating so much food! Holy gluttony, batman! Siddhārtha Gautama, the founder of Buddism, was not fat like his predessors. Teach those kids that eating is for the weak and dharma and/or nirvana can only be attained by the skinny. Make an example out of Buddha and keep the spirit of slim-is-in alive!

What ever te occasion, whatever the season, keep your children informed towards healthy discrimination, bigotry and a bright, yet white future! Amen.