Thursday, September 20, 2012

Overdue Goodbye

Run away silly little one. You were never grown enough to handle a woman like me, nor keep a woman like me. In fact I think you infected my dreams. You bolted like a reckless lover with no regards for anything you smashed into a million pieces along the way, including my heart. You are not worthy of my stress or anxiety - my mourning period should come to an end, now I can see. Why should I care for you when you did not choose to care for me? All the things you said, all the loving lies that fell from your pretty mouth. Your inability to act like an adult and spit out your words to the woman who had stood by your side through all the ups and downs. Now I can see things for what they really are; and I deserve much better. I never did anything to be treated like a piece of rubbish that brought nothing great to your life. You took my power away by running away and not even allowing me the opportunity to speak. If anything you showed what you really are - a selfish coward that does not deserve to have a grown-ass woman like me. Premeditated moments, you slept beside me night after night knowing how you were going to leave, and when you felt you had the courage to leave you lost any class you had by vomiting out like an adolescent full of angst. Fuck you. You violated my peace. You said we were a family, but now I see this was all a game to you that would eventually end. You said you were selfish from the beginning and I should have listened to you. That was the truth. So now it is time for me and the girls to move on without you. We don't welcome you in our present, for you are the past. Whatever it is that you seek, this freedom of independence you spoke will fade like many of your obsessions. One day when you are mature enough to see you will regret the way you treated me. Get out of my veins, get out of my life. After the hurricane swept through my life over the past months I realized what it was that you had really done - you fled like a refugee, but truly you did have a home. You had so many moments when you could have grown some balls and told me the truth, but instead you let it fester until you acted a brute. Bye bye baby, bye bye.
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