Sunday, September 9, 2012

Mama's Girl

I come from my Mother's womb. There is a place of sensitivity where I came to learn about dignity, kindness, forgiveness and compassion, even while rustling under water.  No matter how often I walk in to my mistakes, my Mama nudges me to remind me of my strength and that as before, I will heal, resist and continue to grow freely. Remembering her when I was just a child, the warmness in her efforts to keep me happy, her striving to keep alive a marriage that would show rust and wear over the years - yet she would still have each meal on the table, the house in order and myself and my siblings feeling protected and loved. If she was lonely I never knew back then. She was like Superwoman and nothing seemed impossible when she was at my side.

In moments of weakness I touch my skin and look in the mirror, it is here I notice her eyes in my own, her strength forming my pigmentation. I have faith that I can survive anything that is thrown at me, even the deepest of heartbreaks because I want to make her proud of me. I will not fail her. To her I told her when I first feel in love at 18 - I wish to live my life with an open heart, to not fear judgement and be myself always. Here I am at 31 - and still I can see myself before her as a young woman so eager to love and lead through love. It was standing before her with so much good and innocent love in heart I remember feeling alive for the first time ever. That love is here to stay Mama, and I will show you that I am the daughter you made a good woman of. Thank you for being my eternal blessing. I will never grow bitter, regretful or cold - for I am in your image.
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