I am not that gay because when I walk in a room I don’t (always) declare “hey!” with snaps in my fingers and say “Shashay, you stay. Chante, away!”
I am not that gay because I do not expect to receive redemption for my sins by attending Woodys, Tangos, Buddies or any other Church St. establishments.
I am not that gay because I still believe that clothes should show fashion and style, not tightly squeeze your genitals to painfully display the swollen unit in your pantaloons.
I am not that gay because Twinkie Winkies outrage me! Go to school, stop walking like you think you is Naomi Campbell, or I will whip a blackberry at your magga-ass!
I am not that gay because I am not under the illusion that if I attend one more Madonnarama at Fly Nightclub, I will be discovered and scouted to replace Donna or Nikki as one of Madge’s back-up singers on her next world your. Can I get a “Holiday,” ladies!
I am not that gay, for if I was I would live within view of a Pride flag and this would represent my personal piece of mind.
I am not that gay because I will show a femme how to fuck and a butch how to shut the fuck up!
I am not that gay because I refer to friends of fags as “fruit flies,” not “fag hags.” Hell I know gay men keep them around because they want to be them!
I am not that gay, for I think the idea of dykes and fags being friends is obscene. Plus, what person in the right mind would let lesbians have social space anyways?!!!
I am not that gay because I don’t dream of meeting the love of my life at Slacks.
I am not that gay because if I was…I would kill myself!
I am not that gay because I have not yet attended a fetish fair or been consumed by a masquerade of erotic orgies! Swallow, swallow, pass!
I am not that gay because I like to not be an angry lesbian, but rather an enlightened individual that likes to get mad!
I am not that gay…because I don’t write or do poly-relationship cover shots for Xtra….gulp.
I am not that gay because I have not had over one-thousand sexual partners.
I am not that gay because I don’t own a tool belt, have a VIP card to Home Depot (like a good Home Depot Dyke), or own overalls covered in paint and lady juice.
12 comments:
OMG I own a toolbelt, have a Home Depot Credit Card with my name on it! No overalls though! And I must not be that lesbian because I HATE Slacks!
-NMJ
Brilliant...love it!
-FS
im spinning at Slacks saturday march 7th so come and meet the love of your life while i spin madonna and wave a pride flag surrounded by polyamorus fruitflies staring at my.. uh.. swollen unit?
-PB aka Cozmic Cat
Darling, you're not that kind of gay because you're queer... Fuck the stereotypes!
-CM
Genius~!!
-NH
Oh Parul, I love you.
-AM
hmmmmm... yup, andy's that gay.
-LO
ha!
I love this list Parul! Twinkies OMG yes!
-HA
"...Go to school, stop walking like you think you is Naomi Campbell, or I will whip a blackberry at your magga-ass!"
HAHAHAHA... Hilarity. Love ya, PP!
-SA
were u on the cover of Xtra?
Holler!!! Thanks for the affirmation for my hateration!! Yes Dear Cat of The Cosmos, I was on the cover of the last issue of Xtra. If ya wanna take a gander at the shoot...I'm tagged in the pics on my profile. Hard stuff, being in bed with two ladies! Holler!!! Yes it was for polyamorous relationships...and no, I don't play that way. But hell, mama I'm a model now!! Actually my latest article in Xtra is on dating in our city, check it out on my posted links or,...it is posted or on Xtra site now! Mwahhahhaahah!!
hahahahahaha luv it! I am not that gay either - for fear of the straight guys at the bar with my boy - they were shooting darts!!!
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