Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Visions of the Motherland....Out of the Cold and into the LIGHT

...cold, cold. Oh you very cold on my chocolaty, smooth brown skin. Ok, so when winter hits in Canada, I mean this -26 BS, I ponder as to why my ethnic-ass lives in this state of chapped skin, painfully frozen body parts, and mental torment??!! When I think about entering the winter tundra, there is a look of severe damnation that penetrates through the very core of my being (though some often believe this is my vagina, it is not true...well...ummm...yeah?!).I have recently been speaking to my friends and famigila, all who are suffering from what the smart folks on the news and the highly qualified medics of our country call "seasonal depression." You know what I say tho these folks who are suffering from winter blues??!!--move away from this place in the winter-RUN!

Here is how I feel: I like winter for the 3 days that encompass the build up for the suspense and excitement for the arrival of the baby Jesu! But after that, I am so over it! I like warmth and I realize that it is rare that in is warm and snowy. Though I will admit, those few days we do get of those warm-snowy weather are fun for strolling and judging.Clearly our ancestors were FAR MORE intelligent then we are, and ever will be. What do I mean by this, you ask? When they were paddling around with their fancy head-dresses looking for new lands to settle they came across Our Home and Native Land .

Being fierce they stopped, built some wheels, created fire and tamed the animals to be they're spirit guides---but then something happened!! What is the white dust falling from the heavens above?? What’s this, I can't wear my minimalist animal skins garbs? (yeah runways of MILAN, so original...YOU WISH!). Either way, they called a tribal council, sat a realized that this complex situation of God's dandruff shedding all over their highly toned bodies, and the winds that made there penis' hide inside of them and hair just look all dry and in need of some Infusium--was enough!! They got back on their boats and paddled right the fuck home. HOME! Yes kids, let them inspire us to get up and leave this state of seasonal emergency.
For all the folks who enjoy this weather (white people mostly), have fun. I will be chilling in India on a elephant, eating Masala Dosa and going for walks in the market looking for FIERCE saris. A girl can dream, dream of a place where I can nuzzle myself in-between the fat layers on my fat auntie's stomach, have her sing me Indian lullabies as I fall asleep to a vision of a beautiful landscapes, with monkeys jumping around to "Chunnari Chunnari." I long for this escapism/fulfillment...one day my people. One Day. MOTHER INDIA!
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