Monday, January 14, 2013

Willfully Devoted To You

It all came together when it all fell apart and all there was left was love. More alive than anything she had felt or known before, something had now awoken in her as bothersome as thoughts of girls in skirts in her drama class as a teen. Just a glimpse of her highschool crush's thighs was inspiration enough towards an endeavor to find her soul's wife one day, and make so much sweet love along the way. The love of a deeper love, the love of all that is love. The love of all that awakes love. Children believe, love is all we need to glide away from all this madness.

She held herself close, singing some Marvin Gaye and rocked away, reminding herself what it feels like to wrap your her small hands softly around the hips of the woman she loves. All the women had come with passion and gone with short, staggered breath. She whispers into her ear, "love me now." The possible haunting decree of loves messy flees from her life. She had never made promises of infinite love for herself as she had to the one who broke her heart. "I love you."

Santoshi Ma, a Hindu Goddess that emerged in the early 1960's with popularity in North India. She is deemed Mother of Satisfaction, an emblem of love, contentment, forgiveness, happiness and hope.
Everytime she become conscious of time gone by, she realized it would always be gone before she loved it to death. Perhaps the search for love was not defined by mourning each lost moment, nor a race against the clock or a dance choreographed to an exact timing. Just release and find. Perhaps the melting clock was the only bosom companion to remind her to move away her distorted past and inch by inch, day by day, prayer after prayer move closer towards her love.


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