Beauty's Muse

Over 2 years you have stood by my side. At least 100 days each year I have not been easy, plain or simple. I am over-emotional, I get stressed easily and as you know, I love without reservation and forget to reserve the copyright on my hearts stamp. When I am angry or moody I hide in my shell, only the irritating way a Cancer can. I dismiss you when you reach for me, trying to gently slip your firm hands to cover my my own. Sometimes I can be such a baby, but you never give up on me. Even if you take a moment to regroup the rope that will eventually pull me to my rescue.

You know I am my own worst enemy when I forget to let love rule rationally, or I am afraid of what I cannot control even with bright intentions. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't walk the straight line without you to to balance me out. You are the finest Corinthian columns bearing the weight of my crumbling yet steady palace.


Each moment spent without you I know you are carrying on, charming people while you create divine coffee over leisurely conversation. Oh and a smile that would inspire any master of beauty to praise Aphrodite and create with heightened madness for perfection.

You are a rare private trinket, the crowning gem of a priceless collection. Handcrafted with an uncompromising eye for details, each curve modeled on the fruitfulness of the true female form. So ripe, that you would make a chalice drip wine with envy.

Anyone who comes by you knows that you are special because in your chest you carry the heart of Midas. You are my very own mythical siren, washing away my tears and surrounding me with your eye for details. I only wish for you to unlock my key and have your blood rush through me.

You are as mighty as Aphrodite.

Remembering Whitney Houston- Through My Eyes

When I think of Whitney Houston, I think of the emotional rawness of her voice. Her voice in its prime really was something so powerful that it managed to stir emotions with sophistication. I remember being a child and first seeing her video of "You Give Good Love." There was something to sexy and sultry about her presence alongside such a pure vocal track. She was the first artist that was on repeat in the cars cassette player, my parents fans of her talent as well. This was the first musical bond we treated as a family.

With a catalogue of music that will stand the test of time as some of the most stunning singing ever, now her light has come to a dim here on earth, but as art does, her music lives on.

I have like many, been saddened by her passing at such an early age. Like many, I was really routing for her to get herself together. No other has ever touched me with a voice as she has. She was the reason that as girl, I dreamt of singing, and the reason why I began singing in my youth.





May the peace she could not find here earth, now be with her. May she be able to let go of the pain, misdirection, inability to love herself, and ability to respect her talents. While we shared her world, she was not able to be herself it seems.

Rumours about homosexuality, drugs, Bobby Brown; so many rumours. The only truth that matters is knowing that we watched as her star burnt out - her reasons why will remain silent. The world only sees what it wants to see, and it seems we derive joy from struggle and pain. But her voice lives on. I am confident that a woman who can sing like that understood love once. Thank you for showing that women of colour can make pop more beautiful.

Now you are free to sing to the angels that you so strongly believed in once. Hopefully you will now give yourself to those who love you without consumption.

To Bobbi-C, your Mom is always a light to guide you, don’t let people take away your choices, love yourself no matter what people say, stay in contact with grounded. Always love openly and do what you can to achieve your dreams.

Back to the music...

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It Does Get Better - The L Project

For those ladies and who love ladies, for those girls who love girls.... 

Flipping on Queen Street with a Dirty Mattress

Today one of the strangest things happened to me.

Yesterday my partner and I got our new bed delivered to us, after 4 weeks of anxiously waiting for delivery. 13 years I had been sleeping on that mattress. Many memories, many smiles, many cries, the first time I shared a bed with beloved cat, Neefah and a few special women. At the time I got that bed, it came as a gift from my Ba (grandma), at a time when my parent's couldn't really do more than keep the rent paid and food on the table.

I remember thinking of how much of a blessing it was that my Ba bought me that bed and I felt a flood of gratitude towards her. It was hard to throw the mattress out yesterday, and I did feel emotional, as if it was some special part of my Ba that was left to me. Ba past away at 93 a few years ago.

Today as I was waiting for the streetcar at around 8am, I saw a man off in the distance, turning off my street. I saw him pulling something large on a cart right on Queen Street - yes I mean on the road during rush hour! Believe it or not, it was my mattress. I smiled and began to form wobbly tears in my eyes, This gift that my Ba had given me was now going to help someone else out. As he past by me on the road, I wondered should I say "hey that was my mattress! Don't worry about it having bed bugs or being dirty, it was in good hands. Enjoy it." But then I thought again and decided that would be odd. So I let him pass by without saying a word.

I couldn't help but wonder who that Asian man was and who this mattress was going to rest now - was it him? His kids? His mother? All I can say is, remember that your trash, or warn and old goods could help someone out. So before your dispose of something after saying goodbye, don't be sad or blue, just be thankful it could valuable to someone new.