Sunday, January 4, 2009

Crossing the Railway Tracks to Freedom

I dedicate this to all those who have lost their way, gave too much to only still have to pay. However, to one friend in particular, he knows who he is. Know that I am your sister, you are my mister and together, we will find our way away from all the brazen and damage that may have scabbed our skin. The force of our love together is set to heal one another until we achieve our highest potentials.
Life is a funny journey, and the destination always remains a mystery. 2008 was a terrible year for me on a personal level. I struggled with the grasps of depression when I lost somethings that I loved in a way that I had faithfully prayed for to come to me. When people hurt you it is never easy to get past the pain, to a smooth, flat terrain. Life is bumpy along the way; we loose so many lovers along the way. For months I sat and cried, wondering what I had done to deserve to be disposed of like a piece of rubbish in the trashcan by so many I had given the best of me. For months I struggled with understanding why they were so cold to me, and one in particular, the one whom I loved the most was telling others things that were untrue about me. I knew deep down inside she knew the truth, even if she has told herself otherwise for her own preservation.

I have seen many of my friends struggle in the past year, dealing with the loss of someone they love, and some, the loss of themselves. While some have numbed themselves with indulgences of drugs, sex, and mishandling their own worth, others have fought to find a peace of mind. We are only as foolish as we want to be. Sure pain can lead us to be blind from valuing the time we are given, and the ones that we do have around us to encourage us, pick us off the floor. However it is those who wake up and better themselves without fear that are the leaders, inspirers, the ones who I admire. These people, my friends, know who they are because I tell them how much they mean to me. We all need someone to look up to, a shoulder to rely on. To my mister at a time that is difficult for him, you are very special to me.

2009 is our time to shine, both you and I. My mister and I. Do not let anyone stand in your way of seeking the happiness that is yours to find. Roll with your ambitions, try and learn patience (I struggle with this on a daily basis), put out the energy that you seek in return. Challenge yourself in output, and maintain yourself to be aware of your input.

I have cried so many tears this past year. I almost got to a place where I was seeking to no longer be found. I almost slipped away. Now I am back and stronger then ever. So if you need a kick in the ass, a reason to move past the past, know that I am a testament towards survival. What we seek is the happiness that is in our own hands. Open your fists and set yourself free.
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