Heart Attack

Have you ever been in love with someone so deeply that you felt as thought you were missing a part of yourself when you were apart? I know some may say this is a sign of codependency, even call it pathetic, but I am telling you that if you knew what I know and felt what she makes me feel, you would understand how unexpectedly she has become the centre of my happiness. She deserves me and I am hers alone.

I can’t sleep without her heat coming into me when our naked bodies are pressed together through the night. She is gentle, she is warm, her talents are fruitful and I am privileged to watch her grow.

She encourages me to be a wiser woman and also allows me to come clean with my fears and hesitations at times when I feel compromised. When I come apart, when I begin to tumble down towards the ground, she is always there to take me into shelter by opening her chest and allowing me into her heart. I feel safe with her by my side, so safe that at times I fear being homeless, displaced if she is ever to go away from here.

I want to say to her: “Shine on me dear baby, lead me through the endless corridors of life, meet me at each wrong turn I take to kiss me and tell me that you will lead me back to the safety of your arms. I need you so much it makes me cry, when I think of how deeply your love encourages me to reflect the eternal wisdom of the moonlight.”

I will kiss her every time with every ounce of passion I can conjure just so she always remembers how I feel - just in case tomorrow I die, I want her to know, I will carry a piece of her heart with me away if she permits me to do so.

I feel an abundance of complicated emotions when it comes to her, I feel weak and vulnerable, unlike myself at all sometimes. Usually I am tough, I am blunt, I am independent and agile in mind. I don’t know if this is healthy, I feel like I am loosing my mind.

Don’t try and save me, it is too late to turn back now. Forever she will remain engraved into my soul as the women who opened me to a plethora of visceral sensations and became the consort of my longings realizations.